hello!! i'm minnie! im 23, an english lit major, and this blog is multifandom. i am autistic, nonbinary and use she/her.
please check out my art sideblog too! (minnieeeworld). the website version of this blog contains a bunch of other stuff like my web graphics collection, photos, dream journals, etc.
blog directory + guestbook + linktree !!
note that i fixate on lots of different stuff all the time, my current fixation you will see a lot of will be tagged in this post! elaborated on under the cut! (+byf, dni)
byf
on this blog, i talk abt my life, i vent, i yap, i rb lots of stuff... lots of everything!
vents are tagged with #minnie vent if you would like to filter it!
you will see SFW agere content on this blog! i age regress as a coping mechanism at times
dniΒ
make light of disability terms, i.e, "autistic" to mean weird/quirky, "ocd" to mean perfectionist, etc. that includes the joke "letting the intrusive thoughts win"
believe that intrusive thoughts are real urges and desires (this is a very harmful sentiment!!)
anti neopronouns / xenogenders
pro-life, terf
zionist, transphobic, racist - any far right ideologies at all
mostly NSFW blog -- if we are strangers, i dont know you like that! it makes me DEEPLY UNCOMFORTABLE!!!
βοΈ main/special interests βοΈ
i experience my special interest in bursts. aka, they come and go, but each time theyre just as intense and euphoric! <3 i love these things with all my heart, and they are core aspects to who i am today.
vocaloid: my longest and most important special interest! i love gakupo, kaito, vy2 (roro ver.), rin, and miku! gakukai, gakuvy2, gakukaivy2, and mikurin are my favorite ships! :)
stories / narrative structure: i am an english lit student for a reason. i love analyzing stories and their rules because it feels like solving a puzzle! but generally, i love creating and experiencing different stories of all kind!
my ocs: i have been working on my main story for over 3 years, and although i rarely post about it, i often work and think about my lore! my ocs can be viewed on my toyhouse, but please heed the warnings.
honkai star rail: i love the yaoqing trio, jiaoqiu especially, herta, sunday, and robin! penacony is my fave main story arc!! :)
enstars is very complicated for me due to its' controversial history, and i go on/off on it (like all my interests). though, I can't deny that enstars is very important to me, especially alkaloid + crazy b. my #1 characters in the world are mayoi and kaname, though in recent days they have basically become my ocs and my interpretation of them is deeply personal/meaningful to me!
βοΈ my other interestsβοΈ
either past hyperfixations/spinterests or just stuff i'm relatively "normal" about, lmfao. i'm still very much passionate about these things!!
fandom
pjsk (wxs, niigo, vbs!!)
tadc (i love jax, ragatha, gangle)
tales series (vesperia, abyss)
heathers (dan domenech JD <3)
reverse 1999 (ulrich, getian, marcus, j, sonetto, vertin, 6, 37)
arcane
hi fi rush
zootopia 1 + 2 (i love nick and pawbert!)
the bad guys (i <3 mr wolf!!)
tangled
frozen
books
danmei (2ha, svsss)
if we were villains, m.l. rio
these violent delights, micah nemerever
the secret history, donna tartt
i who have never known men, jacqueline harpman
never let me go, kazuo ishiguro
beloved, toni morrison
warrior cats (i only read series 1 in full, and some of series 2!)
things i love so much that i collect
stim toys
music boxes
plushies
misc
autism (i can talk forever about autism)
anything ocean related (i love jellyfish, and i AM a jellyfish!)
bjds (i currently have 2 blind box bjds!)
j-fashion
character customization (a main outlet for my self expression!)
weirdcore, webcore, kidcore
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VERY scattered Tadc ep 9 thoughts! jax gender identity, ragatha/jax foils, and the overall message of the finale/show as a whole.
β οΈ spoilers β οΈ
just saw someone say they thought jax's story was queerbaity and i just -- NO!! I've been a Transfem jax truther this entire time and was initially surprised it wasn't dropped in ep 9 explicitly because there was just SO much evidence for it but i mean -- not knowing for sure, i realized, is kinda the whole point. jax has so much growing to do. so much healing. he has so much life to live, connections to make, things to learn. if even he isn't 100% sure, then how the hell are we supposed to be. who are we to know, in a way. plus - his gender stuff isn't even scratching the surface when it comes to shit going on in his mind. unresolved issues, immense trauma, 0 coping skills. but with the message of the finale, and therefore the show itself, you have to keep living. you have to live, and you have to be there for the people you love. life will always move forward, and things will get better, even if 'better' doesn't look like overnight healing and being 100% okay. sometimes better is literally just being able to face the world for a little bit longer than the previous day. maybe jax will explore his (her) gender in the future. maybe he isn't even trans, maybe he's a feminine gay guy, or maybe nonbinary, maybe she/they. maybe they/them. the point is, he has to live in order to find out.
generally, I'm just so in love with this finale. i can't stop thinking about it. away from jax, I'm thinking about how each character is literally just their minds (digital versions). we're seeing the deep pits of their consciousness and seeing stuff the real versions ('real' because they are their minds!) perhaps don't even know themselves. seeing the effects of trauma, mental illness, unmet needs, abuse specifically... it's just really interesting. i think it's such a beautiful message. you have to live! like i said earlier. you aren't just your mind - you are so much more. you don't have to stay locked up in there. you aren't doomed. you aren't!! doomed!! YOU ARE NOT DOOMED. I'm so emotional
ragatha and jax as foils means so much to me. they both have mother issues, they both put on masks (ragatha as the nice polite submissive one, jax as. jax), yet ragatha was able to confide / trust pomni, while jax didn't. it was too late, he could only appreciate the view from halfway down when it was too late. to me, the brain scan version of jax specifically represents a 'bad end' to put it improperly... like what could've happened. so unbelievably happy that jax, in real life, was able to make friends, be housed, and hopefully start his long, long journey. at least he won't do it alone. IM SICK
happy birthday mayoi πππ the love of my life. under the cut, Iβve put a screenshot of some post i made a bit ago that perfectly describes my feelings/love for this character :)) he truly means so much to me. thank you for existing ππππππ hereβs to another year of loving you!!
note: do not tag femstars/genderbend. Mayoi is a genderless blob to me
This might be a hot take, but I thought what they did for the "monster" of the Backrooms was ABSOLUTELY GENIUS! How it organically builds upon how the Backrooms work, how it connects to the real world and its people (specifically Clark), and how it creates something that is dangerous and terrifying, and yet at the same time, frighteningly human!
Let me ask you something. Do you think it's interesting that out of all the "people" that were in the Backrooms, Clark's was the only one that was actually dangerous and was actually going around killing people? That's because the Backrooms remembers things in the real world, and "the more times it remembers, the less it does" until it only remembers the details that stand out the most, like how, when you remember a childhood bedroom, you only remember specific furniture or decorations. And the same goes for people!
Because Clark's life is dominated by his anxieties, frustration, fears, and, most importantly, his desire to lash out at everything he thinks is to blame, the Backrooms only remembered those negative feelings. And eventually they all culminated into this dangerous entity. Just like how he lashed out and attacked others that he believes are the fault of where he is, this entity of his own (unintentional) making lashes out and attacks everyone in sight, because, as you can see by the expression on its face, it too is driven by those same anxieties and fears!
That's what makes this my favourite Backrooms entity! Because it's not just another murderous fiend that kills for the heck of it. It's something that beautifully and brilliantly connects to the world it's a part of, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY THE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD, and helps make Clark one of the best horror movie "villains" in recent memory!
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a handprint made in concrete is just the image of a hand, itβs not the real thing. or, itβs the absence of a hand, more than anything, the negative space. the casing around where it should be. itβs an indent that was made from something real - that could not have existed without something real - but itβs not the real thing, itβs just trying to be. maybe itβs not even trying. you put your hand there with your mother and the concrete remembers, and the handprint doesnβt even know why it exists, it just does. if we can make copies and not-things from real things in the world, whoβs the say the world couldnβt do that itself? does it even need to know why?
Anyway i love how the movie uses this very abstract out-there horror premise to represent the human tendency to get stuck on something and obsess over it and become trapped in a never-ending cycle and to resist change so hard that you still change anyway but in a way that degrades and warps and destroys you and the fallibility of human memory and how every time you recall something it gets a little less accurate which means the more you obsess over something the further entrenched in it you become the more you choose to live here the worse it gets the less you understand it until your perspective on the objective reality of it is completely destroyed. The backrooms are a brain the whole thing is a brain. The horror is the human brain. CAN ANYBODY HEAR MEEEEE
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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