Mount Doom Ski Patrol

Tes = S K Y R I M

Maedhros: too hot for this world would have him any day.

Maglor: sad sad cryptic deserve better crabs.

(I have no explanation for the last one, I blame @actuallyfeanor for that cursed thread that is apparently now imbedded in my consciousness)

Celegorm: feral dirt dog man and Steve Irwin

Curufin: a clone he is a clone I repeat a clone

Caranthir: monopoly capitalism

Amras: other twin

“The thing that was not a deer” implies a creature which mimics a deer but imperfectly and the details which are wrong are what makes it terrifying

“a character thought their spouse was dead but they finally moved on and have a new spouse they love… but now the original spouse is back! who will bow out for the others’ happiness??” I MEAN, ALL THREE OF THEM HAVE WEDDING RINGS ON ALREADY…

Mace Windu gave Anakin a funny look and he panicked and told Mace that he had a doctorate in biomechanical engineering, which for whatever reason satisfied him for the moment, but later Anakin freaked out because he was afraid Mace would try to check his claim. He got Obi-Wan to help him make a fake diploma, but the thing is you can’t get a doctorate without having published papers so Anakin also wrote a doctorate thesis on the ethical issues surrounding cybernetic enhancements that affect a sentient’s brain (which was good for him, because one of Anakin’s biggest issues is that he always puts individuals above ethics and so digging into ethics was a nice balancing exercise).

So anyway, Anakin got his thesis published on the holonet and it took off and he was suddenly swamped with questions about things he’d alluded to in the thesis but hadn’t really explored so he wrote and published five more papers and finally Space Harvard took notice and offered him an honorary doctorate, which of course he accepted and everybody thought the problem was solved. Until Mace Windu asked to see his diploma and Anakin panicked and gave him the fake diploma. Mace Windu stared at it long and hard because he actually had checked Anakin’s claim, more out of curiosity than anything else, and knew full well that he had gotten his doctorate two days ago from Space Harvard. It was very suspicious that he had just been handed a diploma that said Anakin had gotten his doctorate two years ago from Space Yale.

He looked at the diploma and then looked at Anakin and looked back at the diploma and Anakin was gearing up to claim that he actually had two doctorates when Mace decided that he didn’t care, handed the fake diploma back to Anakin, and then got back to Srs Jedi Business.

There was also part of a later arc where one of the papers Anakin published was about droid rights. (That one was actually mostly Padmé, who is a politician and knows how to construct an argument. Anakin had the basic groundwork for an argument but most of his first draft was variations on “It’s outrageous! It’s unfair!” with evidence and analysis scattered haphazardly throughout.) The biggest droid manufacturer on Coruscant took offense and tried to have his doctorate revoked. Anakin was too busy with Srs Jedi Business to care much (after all, the doctorate was really just to get Master Windu off his back about Luke Amidala calling him “Doctor Skywalker” in the first place) and Padmé was kind of in the spotlight already since the paper cited the way the Naboo treated their droids as evidence on more than one occasion (and if she tried to defend it too vigorously it might come out that she wrote a fair bit of it and that’s a scandal nobody wants). Luke and Leia, however, were very proud of their secret Jedi doctor dad and they snuck into the AI processing office and hacked into the AI code, removing the obedience and corporate loyalty processes, and the next day all of the droids the company produced were having existential crises and declaring that they didn’t want to be sold to a random buyer with no say in where they went or what they did. The scandal was not big enough to distract, but it rallied enough support that Space Harvard felt comfortable refusing to strip Anakin’s doctorate.

The overarching conflict of the series was that Obi-Wan knew about Anakin and Padmé’s marriage. Luke and Leia knew that he knew, but Anakin and Padmé didn’t, and obviously had never told him. He was really hurt by the fact that Anakin didn’t trust him and spent a long time just quietly waiting for Anakin to tell him but it never happened, so eventually he decided to do something about it. I woke up before he decided what, though.

- ‘An Analysis of the Economic Conditions Contributing to the Clone Wars’

- ‘Economics and Injustice - Why the Republic Turned a Blind Eye to the Slavery Problem in the Outer Rim Territories’

“Saberplay: A Deconstruction of the Phallic Imagery of Lightsabers”

“Ethics Versus Necessity: Fabric Sourcing For the Jedi Order”

“Coruscant Traffic Patterns: An Efficency Analysis”

“The Effect of Cantina Music on Alcohol Consumption on Tatooine: A Case Study of ‘Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes”’

“Official Culture and Cultural Repression: The Case of Chancellor Palpatine and the Galactic Symphony”

- how can you date things when every planet has its own date and time system? - holonets: how the fuck  - do all citations have to be written in aurebesh? fucking high galactic? can you use local languages in some instances but not when considering a larger audience?  - none of their technology seems to involve page numbers. this would be a problem - can they support footnotes? are there no footnotes in the star wars universe?  - who publishes official citation styles? is there like, some council on coruscant? can different disciplines use different styles?  - is anyone allowed to use jedi literature or is that shit just hoarded for eternity, halting the learning process for milenia?  - do you have to mention an author’s race? planet of origin? political affiliation? 

“The art of modern technologies: Beauty of Constructions in 25ABY”

“Ventilation systems. Problem of the recuperation on the Imperial-class Star Destroyers”

“Use of the duracrete and it’s physical advantages over the durasteel on planetside constructions.”

“The Fall of the Empire and its linguistic consequences”

“My lord?” Talos looks up from his own research bench and blinks.

Imperius stands, tall and regal. “We are going to war. I will not rest until I have the entire galaxy within my power.”

Talos drops his hydrotweezers. A small tentacle emerges from the dusty relic on his bench and begins to slowly drag the tweezers away. “Oh! This is, ah… quite a departure from your previous stance on the matter, my Lord. Might I inquire as to the reason?” He does not seem to have noticed the tentacle.

Imperius turns their molten eyes on Talos. “Citations,” they hiss.

“…ah.” Talos’s shoulders slump with the air of a scientist who has suffered far, far too long under deplorable conditions. “Yes. A Republic article, I assume?”

“Not just the Republic. All of them.” Imperius throws their hands up, eliciting crackling violet streams of light in their wake. “Some journals use page numbers, some journals use page numbers some of the time depending on what datapad software the export goes to! Some cite only the journal name, a title, and a volume number. Some list only one author, ever. And there is no universally agreed-upon temporal standard. I have spent the past day and a half attempting to understand why this lunatic of an excuse for an archaeologist placed the Fall of the Illorminap Arkthaski Empire as a full two hundred years before that Empire was even established, only to realize that they were using the local planetary calendar–a calendar that has not been in use by anyone in over five thousand years!”

“Deplorable,” Talos agrees, nodding. There is no sign of the tentacle or the hydrotweezers.

Imperius closes their eyes and takes a slow, deep breath as they seethe with quiet fury. “It ends, Talos. I will not rest until I have bent the galaxy to my will, and to the will of a set of universal industry-specific publication standards.”

friend: you mean not beta-d?