No One Mourns The Wicked

i’m always thinking about that news story where a three year old boy who wandered away from his house and ended up in the middle of the woods was found by this local great pyrenees farm dog who herded the kid back to his unrelated owners house. and the guy was like. whose kid is this

that dog must have been like. hmm. this isn’t a goat. some human must have left their puppy behind by accident. i have to bring this to management. surely my owner will be able to sort out whatever has occurred. that kid was like i’m all alone and scared and omg a big fluffy puppy is here to help. and that fucking farmer looking at his dog like. who’s toddler did you steal???

If you can’t appreciate a dog named Buford, you have something wrong with you.

we gotta get back to torrent distribution, i just watched someone eat eight grand in bandwidth charges because they ran a direct-download piracy site with local file hosting through cloudflare. torrents were invented literally for this exact reason

The hatemail game on this website is insane

Sleeping like shit is soooo cool because the next day you get to feel like you have a disease

I see we’re all doing well,

The American century of humiliation is goin great 👍

Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n

For plants specifically, there’s also a wildly detailed set of posts and listings about toxicity on the old, wonderful, Plants Are the Strangest People blog

Sometimes you gotta fuck a fleshlight with your friends but other times you gotta fuck your friends like a fleshlight, ifyouknowwhatiamsaying

“we know it takes this amount of explosives to work, but what if we doubled it anyway?”

Leaf your leaves on the ground (no, seriously.) They provide so much for bugs, places to lay eggs places to hibernate. This comic does a great job at showing WHY we don't see our little friends as often, because our systems and social expectations are anti-earth and anti-life. Don't eradicate your friends (maybe just that one) let the leaves lay

The thing is nobody at pride is evaluating you to determine if you’re queer enough to be there because they’re too busy thinking “it’s so hot out” and “why is this lemonade 12 dollars?”