24yo Degreed Engineer, RPI, Digital Designer, Manufacturer. 3d Printing and Molding Professional. Master Maker. Pagan, Dragon Worshiper. If you are a terf, nazi, trump supporter, or bigot of any kind, please, go impale your anus on an unpeeled cactus. DNI if your body is exactly 79.8% potassium hydroxide, or if you like shredded wheet with lemon and gasoline. I am 🏳️⚧️ing
With great excitement I can finally unveil: Glass Roses!
This is my year long student film, with Echo the Dragon and Harper the glassblower learning to communicate and get along.
The story concept was mine and I got to be the art director and story lead on it. I did most of the animation on this, I designed Echo the dragon, and gave feedback and direction on color palettes, layouts, and VFX. My awesome team pulled out some awesome work and overall I think our final film is absolutely stellar.
Please feel free to reblog this! I spent so much pouring time and love into this! If you want you can leave me a tip on Ko-fi, and I have an Echo design up on Redbubble if you like my little dragon!
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A sick wizard castle with a nondescript van painted on the side. A gothy pin-up girl with the portrait of a random trucker tattooed on her thigh. A bathroom-themed beach vacation. A beautiful brightly coloured cupcake that tastes like soap.
Jesus with a portrait of my grandma on his wall. A scimitar-wielding fantasy protagonist reading about the adventures of sixth-grader Kelsey. A National Park with a framed print of somebody’s living room.
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the fact that we only have “herculean task” and “sisyphean task” feels so limiting. so here’s a few more tasks for your repertoire
icarian task: when you have a task you know you’re going to fail at anyways, so why not have some fun with it before it all comes crashing down
cassandrean task: when you have to deal with people you KNOW won’t listen to you, despite having accurate information, and having to watch them fumble about when you told them the solution from the start (most often witnessed in customer service)
feel free to chime in i ran out of ideas much faster than i anticipated
Promethean task: opposite of a Cassandraean task. You have the right information, and SOMEONE has to share it. But it's all in the delivery and if you're the person to identify the problem you WILL be hated forever.
Oedipal Task: (1) Attempting to avoid an unspeakably awful outcome and in doing so creating the circumstances that will bring it about.
(2) Trying to solve an problem and discovering that you are in fact the problem you are trying to solve.
damoclean task: the thing you've been putting off long enough that it becomes a constantly hanging doom over your head
pyrrhic task: you can get it done but it's going to cost you
medean task: you can get it done and you don't care what it costs you
dionysian task: task that might not be -better- if you do it drunk, but -will- definitely be more fun
hegelochic task: it was a simple job, but your name will be recorded in the annals of history for how impressively you fucked it up
task of theseus: a project for which the parameters have changed so many times that you're not sure it IS still the same task
gordian task: ok technically there Is a Right Way to do this but it's going to be fiddly and awful and take forever and what if. what if you just said fuck it. and started slicing
no-dopamine baddies approaching every single list of tasks like "which of these things will cause the most amount of personal suffering to me if left undone"
hey this is really insightful. do you have any advice about identifying the linchpin task? i mean obviously "think about it really hard" might be all there is to it. basically i think this concept is good and would welcome more commentary from you, if you have more to add
the trouble is that Thinking (or at least applying the Talking Brain to the task) is counterproductive here, because that's the voice going "we need to clean the kitchen, why aren't we cleaning the kitchen??" and in these circumstances, giving that sector of the mind more oversight won't help.
it is necessary instead to sit down and kinda try and quiet that voice, and then start with considering my physical needs, kinda mentally run through the maslow's pyramid from bottom to top as if I'm dealing with a little kid throwing a tantrum. like, did we sleep last night? have we had lunch? am I lonely? should I call my aunt? do I want to finish the book I've been reading? do I want to boil chicken bones today? what's bothering me? I'll then try out a couple of things that seem likely and while they may not be The Thing it's useful to build momentum anyways.
but like, if I give it space, the answer will float upwards into view and it's usually something I've been putting off for a long-ass time.
and it'll sound So Stupid to the Talking Mind, who has important tasks that it's trying to get done, but we're going to tell that voice that the kitchen will wait while we take down the Christmas tree, fold the laundry that's been in the basket for a week, sketch the idea, call my aunt, whatever it is, and inevitably the Linchpin Task will take about half an hour, and once it's done I can feel the weight lifted off my shoulders.
Linchpin Tasks are sometimes that it's time to deal with The Emotions At The Bottom Of The Pile, which is when a pile of stuff builds up to cover whatever is at the bottom being emotionally fraught. (letters, the shirt I wore the day my grandpa died, y'know, The Emotions)
I've gotten better at identifying when those piles are starting to accrete and dealing with them before they get bad, but like, you gotta be able to identify the pile of stuff your eyeballs keep slipping off because it feels too emotionally difficult to deal with right now, and like, learning to ignore the part of the mind that wants to assign task priority levels is a counter-intuitive way to get things done.
I hope this makes sense. basically, when it comes to doing stuff, do the thing that's most emotionally fraught first, especially if you can come up with a bunch of excuses to not do it.
image description: tags reading #I tend to go for "which of these tasks is the secret task my subconscious has decided is the linchpin of my productivity" #sometimes that task is not something that's actually urgent in a normal sense but if I don't do it first I will put myself in waiting mode #and like I don't want to be waiting on myself to do a thing that I'm specifically not doing because it's not important
Reminder, if you ever pay someone for a commission on Paypal (NSFW OR NOT) you SHUT THE FUCK UP in any text box it gives you.
(No this does not mean try to be a snarky comedian and say it was "bomb materials" or "fuck u" or whatever. Don't play with people's livelihoods, just shut the fuck up and don't type anything at all, it's not that hard.)
I do not mean a normal amount of listening to the same song on repeat I mean that in October and November 2022 the only thing I listened to was Type O Negative's "Black No. 1" and I listened to it for 18 hours a day. This is, apparently, a kind of stimming.
To be clear I do not know what the normal amount is. When Large Bastard and I started dating I had a tape in my car with Tom Petty's "Dancing at the Zombie Zoo" on it that I knew exactly when to flip the other side (halfway through "Yer so Bad") so that I could flip it again and listen to Zombie Zoo again and I did that enough that Large Bastard still can't listen to Tom Petty and also it wore through the tape. So whatever normal is it is probably less than that.
Nope. And one of the things that made my doctors wave off the possibility of a diagnosis was "well, you don't stim or have trouble socializing or have sensory issues so you're probably just depressed and anxious."
No I just, you know, reexamined every interaction for hours after the fact and was convinced that I was evil or deeply broken for being unable to emotionally connect with people around me and had headphones hidden under my hair all the time to listen to songs on repeat so that I could pay attention to things and not get distracted by the way the classroom lights were flickering at exactly the wrong frequency.
Unfortunately it is worse than that; this is hours listened to podcasts per month, 1640 hours per month is like 55 hours a day, which is possible because I listen to podcasts at 2-3x speed and only sleep for about five hours a night. This was to show there were no podcast hours listened in october and november of 2023 (because they all went to listening to Peter Steele)
Black No. 1 is 11 minutes long and at eighteen hours a day i was listening to it around a hundred times daily.
I mean to be fair this does coincide with working from home and it wouldn't be out of bounds to listen to the radio for 8 hours a day in an office environment. Technology just lets me reallllly fine tune what I'm listening to so that i don't have to listen to broadcast news (derogatory).
My therapist has told me that I'm not good at recognizing "normal" and that I have a lot of incorrect assumptions about what is required to perform "normal" so I like using posts like this to collect data and also take notes about other people's show dogs so I can better train mine.
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FWIW I am aware that I am neuroatypical in multiple directions. I'm having Lots of Realizations since I ran out of my ADHD meds two months ago and haven't been able to get them filled and have fallen the fuck apart as a result. (Large bastard is picking up my new prescription today)
I've also been working on developing habits that make me more functional when I'm out of meds and am burning out that I will probably write about at some point.
It's just funny sitting down with my therapist and trying to sort out the ADHD burnout versus the autistic burnout and how to handle each/both and and having More Realizations.
I don't know what is normal for other people so I only know normal for me and normal for me is "boredom machine goes brrrrrr" and means that at work I feel like a failure when I'm doing less than I normally do but less than what I normally do is apparently like five times what other people normally do so I have to stop being an asshole to myself and part of that is recognizing systems that I've built up as accommodations (without realizing that they are accommodations) and recognizing masking (that I didn't realize was masking) so that I can ask for what I need and limit the things that exhaust me and it is A Struggle but "I need to listen to something in headphones all day and have minimal interruptions in order to work effectively" is not at all an unreasonable accommodation.
Reblogging again cause I tried this site last night and if you need background noise to focus this is perfect for that, I was locked the fuck in on a task. And it’s also just gorgeous to listen to
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I am so utterly fascinated by “Saki”, the 18-year-running mahjong manga in which you, the reader, become gradually, frog-boilingly aware (over the course of nearly two decades’ worth of mahjong tournaments) that none of these girls are wearing underwear and most of their boobs are slowly expanding.
I need you to understand that I have, like, an anthropological level fascination with this comic. From the perspective of someone who is also a comic artist and writer, two things delight me about it:
the fact that I understand completely how an artist gets from “the fans can have a little hint of skirted asscheek” to “the pussy is completely out on center page” over the course of 18 years; and
the way in which the pussy being out is treated by the characters and diegesis as being utterly unremarkable.
Okay. Point 1. The frog-boiling.
Let me put this in perspective for you. There was already a meme about how the characters in “Saki” don’t wear underwear when I was in middle school. I am thirty now. Okay? And it’s still going.
In the time since, this has stopped being a joke. It is now indisputable canon. This is not because anyone outright says it at any point. It’s because the underwear ran out of places to hide. I’m obsessed with this thought: somewhere in the over 20 volumes of “Saki”, there is a panel in which underwear was objectively deconfirmed. And it would be so hard to figure out where that panel actually is. Maybe the artist didn’t even realize it when she drew it! The frog? Boiling!!
And of course there is also the breast expansion. I don’t know how to put a spin on this. They are just expanding. Like, this happens a lot with artists: you define a character as being, in your mind, “the one with the big boobs”, and over the years you emphasize that trait further and further so that the signal doesn’t get lost in the noise. It’s just that normally—in like a wildly popular manga series about mahjong published by literally Square Enix, for example—normally there would be a point at which the boobs stopped getting bigger. Like, an editor would step in or something. Or you would get to the point where you cannot draw the character in the same panel as her mahjong tiles without her breasts spilling over the tiles, and you’d go, “Well, this is now untenable.”
That did not happen. There is no ceiling. The frog is soup.
Point 2. The complete and utter mundanity of all of this.
It’s like this, okay: there’s no shortage of trashy ecchi manga out there. There’s a million other comics doing wildly bawdier things with wildly more improbable bishoujos.
The vibe with “Saki” is different.
It’s hard to explain this, but it feels like the world of the comic is fundamentally uninterested in the fanservice happening on the page. I cannot describe it as “leering”, because I cannot conceive of a person in the story from whose point of view one would leer. I think the artist is probably into it—I can’t imagine anyone is making her do this—but “Saki” the comic has no opinion on the matter.
There are essentially no male characters in “Saki”. Like, there was one guy? Kind of? At the very beginning? But he is gone now. They put him back in the toybox. He does not exist. It appears to be some level of canonical that in the world of “Saki”, almost all humans are women. Those women are sometimes romantically into each other. According to comments the artist has made on Twitter (which I cannot source), they have lesbian baby technology, so it’s no problem. It’s so much not a problem that the story is about mahjong, instead of any of that.
So, like, the fiction here appears to be this: this is the, like, meta-narrative of the fanservice of “Saki”, right: it’s just normal that they don’t wear underwear and their boobs are arbitrarily big. It’s been normal. It was normal before the story of the manga began. It’s just how things are. Nobody bats an eye about it, and if they do, it’s in sort of a lesbian kind of way so like what’s the problem, we love lesbians here. This is literally normal for girls.
The fanservice simply diffuses into this all-encompassing aura of disembodied, ambient sluttiness. The framing of the panels demands you acknowledge it, and the story demands you already be over it, because it’s mahjong time now, and we’re playing mahjong.
Do you get??? why I’m so fascinated??? Are you not a little enraptured???
Anyway, I have no idea how to end this weird post. I guess the conclusion is that women stay winning????
I have so many questions... How does one SUSPECT a manga character isn't wearing underwear? Like, sure, boobs are front and center amd you can see them get bigger panel by panel but how does this work for panties? Are there just that many upskirt shots?
Also how do you keep a manga about Mahjong going for 18 years, what??
