you go too fast for me

Yeah sex is cool but have you ever been on tumblr before December 17 2018?

hypothesis: everyone has the hots for geralt because he is the ideal mix of legolas and aragorn that we have always craved

i love loose puffy shirts w tight pants. fuck you if you want to know what my chest is like but LOOK at my ass

So when YOU sew a bunch of unmatched parts together, it is “a quilt” and “a beautiful gift” and “will assuredly become a family heirloom” but when I sew a bunch of unmatched parts together it is “A MONSTER” and “AN ABOMINATION, AN AFFRONT TO THE GODS” and goes on “A MURDEROUS KILLING SPREE.”

Well MAYBE if you BOTHERED TO NAME HIM or I don’t know, DIDN’T BECOME DEATHLY ILL FROM THE SIGHT OF HIM MOVING we wouldn’t HAVE THIS PROBLEM

these are my parents talking to each other about me

Of all the possible jokes in this format I did not expect the Tower of Babel

never underestimate the power of telling yourself ‘woah calm down there edge lord’ every once in a while