Zach Mac Feegle

GC, BWR, NW Princess Donut the Queen Anne Chonk.

If someone is attempting to ask you questions about politics and you'd rather not engage, feign comprehensive ignorance of whatever they're trying to discuss. And I mean comprehensive; you are not playing the role of a potential convert who just hasn't heard of [issue] yet, but rather that of someone who does not know who the president is. If they name him, you've never heard of such a man in your life. You're not entirely sure what the Supreme Court is but you heard on a podcast or something that it got abolished by the mayor. Who's the mayor? Well, why would I know who the mayor is? Say things like "Who's to say" and "I thought that was from a movie."

If they're still incredulous as to the sincerity of your ignorance, become irate and defensive. Take umbrage with the very notion of common knowledge. Say things like "Look, dude, I don't gotta know every little thing, alright? You show me in the bible where it says it's illegal not to know things."

I really just have to summarize Thomas's entire life:

He was in a committed relationship with a male swan named Henry for 18-24 years before a female swan named Henrietta showed up and mated with Henry.

Thomas was initially jealous of the pair and attacked them, breaking 2 of the 5 eggs Henrietta had laid. However, once the remaining eggs hatched, Thomas warmed up to them and helped raise them.

Henry couldn't fly because of an injured wing, so Thomas taught the cygnets how to fly.

When they needed to reduce the goose population in the pond where Thomas and the swans lived, they dyed Thomas's feathers red so he wouldn't be separated from Henry.

Henry, Henrietta, and Thomas remained in their happy throuple for years and raised 68 cygnets before Henry died in 2009. After Henry's death, Henrietta found another swan and flew away, leaving Thomas alone.

Thomas finally met and mated with a female goose in 2011 and had his own babies. However, another goose named George stole them and raised them himself.

As Thomas grew elderly and blind, he was relocated to a wildlife center where he raised orphaned cygnets.

His caretaker at the center described him as "pretty high maintenance."

Thomas died in 2018 at the age of around 40. He had a funeral that included a small coffin and a procession that was led by a bagpiper. He was buried under the stone where Henry was buried, the two finally reunited in death.