🌙⭐

Talking to my traumatized friends like “take your time responding and don’t feel any need to cater to my opinion in this matter just tell me the truth about what you feel. Your feelings are valid. ” and it’s about like choosing where to go to lunch.

man, The Character really strikes me as someone who would struggle with Same Problems I Have, for no apparent reason

my cat sits next to my chair and meows so sadly until i help her onto my lap and im like. baby i love you but i have witnessed you achieve 6ft vertical leaps onto the fridge. do NOT play with me.

We need to figure out how to communicate "thank you, that was very cool" to whales. And also "please do not do that, that was scary", but that's secondary. Imagine what kind of shit humans would get up to if any time you're out and doing things, there's an above zero chance that you hear a handful of beetles making a tiny sound of waow. nice. and a round of teeny tiny applause.

courage the cowardly dog is not cowardly because that poor dog will be facing the flayed corpse of god or some shit every episode. courage the reasonably horrified dog

OK Can I just say something? *unending harrowing silence*

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

#tapping the reblog button with utmost care because i’m handling a historical artifact (via @malarkiness)

thinking about the time a dude with a booth trying to get sign ups (no recollection of what for) approached me and said “Hey! do you know how much a polar bear weighs?” the correct response to this is “i don’t know”, so that the original speaker can say “enough to break the ice!” however, he did not count on Animal Facts Georg saying “i think about 990lbs?” which destroyed any hope for a normal and productive conversation

Actually upon further inspection that shit really hurted my feelings

Killed this ant that came in the kitchen and the next day it came right back but it was holding a needle. Killed it again and it came back the next day wearing a cape and then I noticed I had a giant HP bar labeled KITCHEN BEHEMOTH and I was like man cmon dont call me that