нєαℓιиg ιѕи'т ℓιиєαя

just had too many bad experiences with all the townspeople joining hands and breaking my ancient curse through the power of song

I'm in tears... The bawawa...

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

my writing gland is purple and swollen

Finding a maid nest and taking maid eggs from it

Finding a princess face and taking princess eyeballs from it

No, Calvin was right

Calvin was 100% right.

You’ll notice Miss Wormwood didn’t disagree, just gave him advice on how to handle the pain.

Trying to escape military service like: "Poison Seller, I require your weakest poisons."

it's actually so amazing she helped save the lives of the honorable men who did not wish to fight, while killing the most vile men, that is so fucking based

To my 25 - 35 year olds, you've reached the age where people around you are starting to give up on themselves because they think it's too late. Don't let that energy rub off on you. It's not too late.