Idle vapourings of a mind diseased

god I'm such a slut for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce *decides it’s inaccurate to refer to myself as a slut in light of my minimal sexual activity* if The Enemy discovered my ardor for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce, they would gain a significant strategic advantage

.That Judge Judy Pussy grip insane. You be calling her Judith on the second stroke.

My grip will rip your junk off, chew it up, and spit it back at you.

Imagine how I feel

The Simpsons' later seasons are not by any means unwatchably bad, some episodes are actually decent, but every celebrity cameo is that bad

Like yes the times they geared an entire episode around, basically, hyping up how great Lady Gaga or Elon Musk are - especially the latter! - p. bad but let's give a shout out to when they feature someone more obscure and most of the cameo is explaining who they are bc they want to recapture the spark of Thomas Pynchon's cameo again

I haven't seen this in like a decade

this is just truthslop.you believe it because it happens to conform to reality

This is what Republicans sound like

god but imagine being the day manager of that mustafarian lava factory. walk into work one day your computers are all fucked up, half of your rig is gone and one room is just full of dead bodies

a friend was talking about a book we hate and was like "it’s a book that’s very popular with queer people who haven’t yet realized there’s a thriving ecosystem of queer books that had editors" many such cases unfortunately

I do think it's kind of funny when plot summaries are like "character A encounters the last person they expected...their ex." Idk about you guys I'd be less surprised if my new coworker/roommate/random dance partner was my ex than I would if it was, like, Megawati Sukarnoputri the first woman president of Indonesia.

Any of my exes could plausibly attend the same conference as me. But I'd be really surprised to encounter former US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice