-old but gold-

the human hand is a wonderfully versatile tool for trying to carry one thing too many and dropping everything all over the fucking floor

fuck i can’t believe i wasted my entire life being moved by art and beauty and the indomitable human spirit ugh i should’ve been making money through internet scams

call my meat a dead horse the way i hmm save as draft

official library post

some words you can only spell on autopilot. once you stop to think about it you've already lost the fight

just remember, one day you're going to open tumblr and the crabs will be raving like they never have before

We will meet here again on that day. This is my sacred promise to you.

Today a very friendly Golden Retriever came up to me and I said "hey buddy :D" and the owner asked "do you know each other?" like his dog had a social life he didn't know about

"tumblr humor is only funny to tumblr users" NOT true. those bitches on pinterest love us.

writing historical fic set in real places is so scary. what if someone who knows more about Philadelphia's timeline to move from gas to electric streetlamps reads my fanfiction and laughs at me

bro last night was totally redacted! last night was fully expunged from the record. bro, do you... can you remember last night? what did we do...? what did... did we hurt someone? bro? why won't you look at me? what did I do...? whose blood is this...? bro...?

hm yes i like this character. now shoot him 5 times in a parking lot.