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im monty! i draw and write. im canadian and here is my commission sheet

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indeeeed anon indeed and thank u for thinking of me.

please excuse the perhaps too-close reading (i was an english major) but the like book-end moments of will accusing mack of not telling him he’s gay, and mack being like ‘i thought you’d figured it out’ at the beginning, and then in the last chapter  being like ‘i thought you knew’ about his feelings for will. 🚬 i just love that we kind of started and ended with a similar moment because even after all that growth it’s still like… ofc mack thinks all of this is obvious, knows his heart is on his sleeve!! but ofc it isn’t, because will, intentionally or not, keeps himself in the dark. it’s such an interesting clash of core character traits and i just loved how both moments show that. 

or like, one of my favorite bits of dialogue was the “bud” conversation. i thiiiink my favorite bit of dialogue was the ‘bud’ conversation. mack saying “i was trying something” seemed to be him admitting that no, he cannot be will’s friend. and i love how even at the end, which is so open and hopeful, it’s still not…. we still have to read between the lines. like, will didn’t come with this grand speech, but he told the suits it was serious and he showed up all breathless and sweaty on a bike without a plan. (btw i adored the whole sequence of will going to van. despite the heavier tone of the fic, there was a distinct ‘sprinting through the airport in a romcom’ feeling when will borrowed that random kid’s too-small bike that made me almost giddy. [p.s. shoutout bedsy for not being nosy or suspicious enough to ask questions before sending will the address. bless.]) and mack never comes out and says he’s been in love with will all along, but he is so patient and forgiving. 

oh and that reminds me of another really great/favorite moment where will is thanking mack for letting him stay and mack looks embarrassed when he says he wasn’t gonna send him back. even though we’re not privy to mack’s thoughts, one can only imagine that when he left will in boston, he was telling himself that he was finally going to stand on business. and then here he is. (speaking of, have you ever heard “buckle” by florence + the machine? it’s kind of gut-wrenching and it really makes me think of mack)

this is getting really unwieldy so i’m gonna see myself out and probably go read your wedding fic as a treat 🙂‍↕️

bwaaa thank you so much for the lovely comment. it feels kind of wow to respond to so i was sitting on it for a bit

there is a lot of disappointment with aphasia, like little false starts and failures, which im sure contribute to that sick feeling. it was hard to wrap up, and i was so glad to have kelly/keelpay there to help me when figuring that out and get it all sorted. all those things needed to be addressed and satisfied, so i hope it did that for you.

the bike scene is definitely one of my favourites. i bike a lot and that feeling of dirt/gravel on your sweaty legs was one i was thinking about. cause in the moment you kind of just have to let it go and tell yourself to stop caring about that sensation. which was fitting. tho i really fucking hate it LMAO

one of the things i think is important when i write POV of people like Sam Dickinson, these guys who position themselves as charming and funny (even in an ironic way) and their interactions w other men, especially those like Misa, is the ownership aspect. we all know about alpha male bs, the idea of there being a hierarchy, most masculine most whatever taking place at the top. but what sam does is another kind of posturing.

for sam, being funny, goofy, etc is his ticket. and its almost this monopoly where in his world of so called hockey robots, he occupies a niche. men like this rag on their friends a lot, exude a sort of ironic, almost self deprecating, unearned over confidence etc their friends are their best bits, and they can coexist w a lot of more hypermasculine guys while still picking up a LOTTT of women and respect from guys. they may even be slightly flamboyant, all serving this little space they have carved out

butttt there are two disruptors that both result in similar behaviour. the first is a similar kind of guy, and the other is one who is unaffected or slow on the uptake. both of these demand ownership from our Guy. there can only be one, so guys like Sam will seek to be the source of validation for these other guys, they may create a duo, they may even exclude or avoid women when together, in order to keep each other “in check”, they want control over the other.

with guys like Misa, who are a little immune to the whole bit, guys like Sam have to work that much harder. theres also a sense of ownership, and a need to up the ante to maintain status. it can be a fascination. it can also lead to a sort of scapegoating or, how Sam brings up Misa’s quirks so much. he has to other him, and it all manifests as a bit.

and its all super super gay