Ask Eddie

turn off this klaus schulze shit, youre befuddling the hoes

This f***er just out there quilting chocolate

ladies……. please, allow me. *immediately fucks it up*

So I just made a joke that "more women should poison their husbands" to my cool boss and then immediately found out that he got divorced because he was poisoned by his ex-wife

I'm apologizing profusely and he's like "oh it's fine it was funny" and then he offhandedly mentions that his next girlfriend tried to poison him also

Yeah this is going to break containment babe.

His geriatric charm and decrepit cunt serve have bewitched me body and soul

Can a full grown man aged 43 be a "discord kitten"

Imagine jigsaw bringing the current torture puzzle to a screeching halt to announce over the PA system: “oh my god guys they got the pentagon!!”

pride and prejudice is a comedy because mr darcy thinks the tension comes from ust and meanwhile lizzie just genuinely hates his guts