routed off course just to keep on track

hey you 🫵 have you washed your water bottle lately? 🫵 it’s getting hot and mold is going to grow 🫵 wash it 🫵

i think one of my favourite things about watching sports (beyond the sport itself) is the magical thinking, the way every spectator feels responsible for the success of the team. the people who are physically there need to sing and scream as loud as possible but then everyone at home has their little rituals. who's to say if the goal we scored was because the players know how to play or because i refused to go to the bathroom, this friend of a friend in rio sat down to watch the game for the first time in his life, these dudes in lanús lit a candle, my cat walked into the room, this woman in caballito did an intention ritual to cure the evil eye, my coworkers in núñez switched seats, a friend froze their goalie. i mean clearly the first option but i think it's (1) hilarious that this kind of magical thinking seems to be largely unavoidable (2) a lot of fun. we're all doing our part ❤️

every person who reblogs one of my wpbl posts with any variation of [i dont go here] or [i dont know anything about baseball] i'm happy to inform you youve been drafted. please pick a team that is either geographically closest to where you currently live, have lived previously, or have loved ones, or by color scheme if none apply, and i'll see you in that youtube live stream on august 1st champ 🫡

He’s casting a spell 🫧

WHAT ARE YALL READING RN you must tell me

Sent a 12 year old on a fake Hero’s Journey last week and holy shit he actually did it

i go absolutely ape shit buck wild when people ask me if i want to run errands with them like Let’s Fucking Go. and my mind absolutely maxes out of dopamine when they ask if i wanna stop for coffee. and if someone took me to the park id go bonkers in funcking yonkers

source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crush,_Texas

you could just do shit back then

texas is still like this

i think tumblr ads automatically opening a tab on your phone if you touch them while scrolling should be considered a form of malware