Sarah & Ron

Sarah: Civilization...it’s not just a nation...it’s human’s way of life... Ron: What are you singing? Sarah: Oh, you know...it’s just...from a musical I wrote... Ron: You wrote a musical? Sarah: Lord of the Flies: The Musical. Ron: Oh, good, and here I thought it was going to be something weird. 

(Looking at the Netflix queue) Ron: Really? Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus?  Sarah: It’s not what you think! Ron: ... Sarah: ...I...thought it was a documentary. Ron: Well that’s...definitely...not...worse...

(Describing a game Sarah and her brothers used to play) Sarah: Okay, so what you do is, you yell “THINK FAST!” and then you punch the person in the stomach. Ron: ...What. That...doesn’t make any sense. Sarah: Is “making sense” something that’s important to you? Ron: Um...

(In Chinatown) Sarah: Hmm. This must be the year of the...horned...sheep...creature... Ron: You mean the ram? Sarah: That’s what it’s called!

Sarah: Ugh, so much work, so little time. Ron: You’re...playing video games. Sarah: Yeah. FOR WORK. Ron: Zero sympathy.

Sarah: There are no vegetables here. I think I’m dying. Ron: Yeah...what are you eating? Sarah: These mints I stole from the iHome booth. Ron: ... Sarah: Don’t worry, I’ve eaten like 60 of them. Ron: That’s cause for worry!

Sarah: The maid is coming tomorrow, we need to pick up stuff. Ron: Okay. Wait. Why are we picking up stuff? Sarah: I don’t want her to spend time picking stuff up, that’s not her job. Ron: What...is her job...?

Sarah: We should get this toy for Dolce! Ron: $15 for a dog toy? No thanks. Sarah: Well, I’m going to tell her that you’re the reason she doesn’t have a Pawlenciaga bag. Ron: I’ll take the fall for that.

Sarah: I think I eat like a girl. Ron: ...Um, have you ever watched any of your girlfriends eat? Sarah: Well, no, because I’m always too busy stuffing my face. Ron: ...Yeah.

Ron: Yesterday you wanted to buy an apartment, now you want to move to another country. Sarah: Well, we can always sell an apartment. Ron: ...It’s not like Ebay. Sarah: ...It’s not? Ron: ...Maybe we should hold off on buying an apartment.

Sarah: I wonder why more people don’t adopt. Ron: Well, adoption is expensive. Sarah: I hear giving birth is expensive. Ron: Yeah...but if you can’t afford it...you can still do it anyway. Sarah: Whoa! Good point!! Ron: I’m a little concerned about what you thought they’d do if you couldn’t afford it? Shove the baby back in?!

Ron: Can you rappel up a cliff? Sarah: No. Ron: What do you call going up, then? Sarah: ...Climbing. Ron: Oh, right. Sarah: It’s okay, I was a Boy Scout.

Sarah: I used to think 7-11 was from Japan. Ron: No you didn’t. Sarah: I did! And Denny’s, and Shakey’s Pizza. Because I first saw them in Japan. Ron: Because you’re...from Japan? I mean, I “first” saw a lot of things in Ohio, but I didn’t think they came from Ohio.  Sarah: Also McDonald’s. Ron: Now I know you’re lying.

Sarah: Did you know that Amazon reviewers get free stuff?? I want free stuff! I should become a top reviewer! Ron: Don’t you...already do that? Sarah: But I don’t get stuff. Ron: Don’t you...get money? Sarah: STUFFFFFFFF!!!! Ron: Do you know how money works?

Sarah: I like what those guys did with their lights. We should do that. It looks really cool inside. Ron: How can you see all that? They’re on the sixth floor. Sarah: Oh...well, they have a Boston Terrier. (Pause) Ron: Wait...do you know what their apartment looks like because you follow their dog on Instagram? Sarah: Well, when you say it like that, I sound like a stalker.

Sarah: I think I’m going to put a moneyline bet on Clemson.  Ron: That’s a stupid idea. Sarah: Because you think Clemson won’t win, or because you think gambling is an unsustainable way to make money? Ron: GAMBLING IS AN UNSUSTAINABLE WAY TO MAKE MONEY. Sarah: You wouldn’t say that if I was a bookie. Ron: That’s exactly what I would say if you were a bookie! (Later) Ron: Hmm, smart money was on Clemson. Sarah: J’ACCUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!