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JVL
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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art blog(derogatory)
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styofa doing anything
trying on a metaphor

@theartofmadeline
todays bird

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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
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@sapphireshuckle
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if you've ever pet more than a few dogs you'd Know what dog residue is
I can tell youre knitting with no love in your heart i can see the hateful intentions in every stitch.
it is like fucking spot the differences with you people
I'm trying to figure out a good way to say "you really should actually learn the basics of small talk" with sounding like I'm biased against autistic people.
So here's the thing:
I see a lot of neurodivergent people talk about small talk as this baffling and meaningless waste of time that neurotypicals do for some unknown reason, and as an autistic person in an industry that is extremely based on building relationships and engaging with others, I've actually found a few really key important pieces to small talk.
1. Small talk can make interactions feel less mercenary or transactional. Having even brief exchanges about something beyond the reason that you're interacting can make it feel less like the only goal of the interaction. Especially for relationships that are not fully transactional (e.g., coworkers), this can help build a relationship with them.
2. Small talk can be a way to find commonalities and help bridge cultural or power divides. Recently I was on a call with a couple of Indian colleagues, and while we were waiting for everyone else to join I asked them where they lived in India. They didn't expect that I had heard of it, but I knew it because my dad had traveled there for work every couple months for a year or so, so we could chat about it briefly. Even for a couple of minutes, we were able to connect on this unexpected commonality. If I hadn't had that connection, I would have been able to learn about somewhere, helping narrow the privilege gap of them being expected to know more about where I live than I am about where they live.
3. Small talk can show knowledge about a person, which both builds connections and indicates that you see their life as important enough to remember about. The stereotypical "How's the wife?/How are the kids?" shows that you know the person has a wife/kids and have enough interest in their life to even ask.
4. Small talk can ease tension and reduce pressure from others, especially in a professional setting if more junior members are expected to speak. Especially for junior staff members, it can be difficult to be the first person to talk and break the silence, so engaging in small talk beforehand allows for a lower-pressure transition from silence to whatever the presentation is about.
5. Small talk provides a low-risk way to identify commonalities. While conversations about religion, politics, etc. may lead to tension or discomfort, even if they bring out commonalities, small talk is specifically structured to minimize tension while still providing the opportunity to learn more about each other. A conversation about the weather can reveal that you both like hiking when it's nice out; a conversation about the weekend can reveal that you both have family in the same state.
Small talk in many cases is signaling, a way to indicate certain things to people. It's a more indirect version of it than many autistic people like, but it is one.
But, you cry, I don't know how to do small talk!
Small talk actually has some pretty clear guidelines, even if they are often unspoken.
You are generally always safe starting with a question.
Weather, traffic/travel, and non-political events are generally a safe bet, because those are commonalities even if you are in different locations. "It was so nice out here this weekend. What's the weather like near you?" "I got stuck in that big traffic mess on my way here. Did you get caught in that?"
If you have some knowledge about that person, use that to inform further questions. I knew my coworkers lived in India, so I asked where in India. If I had just known that they didn't live in the same country as me, I could have asked where they lived.
Let them offer information about their family before you ask about it. Family can be complicated, and if you wait for them to offer that will indicate what sort of information they are comfortable sharing. You can then mirror their language (e.g., if they mention a wife then you can ask how their wife is doing, if they mention a partner then you can ask how the partner is doing). If "how are they doing" feels too personal, language like "what are they up to these days?" can be a bit more neutral and feel less invasive. If you're really not sure, feel free to avoid questions about family altogether.
When asking about where someone is from, don't ask "where are you from originally?" unless you know for a fact that they are not from where you are. Instead, you can ask things like, "Did you grow up around here?" which is a more neutral phrasing. This is especially common for the area where I live where a huge percentage of people are transplants (including me) and so people who actually grew up in the area are a bit of a rarity.
Politics, religion, and money are generally not good starting points for small talk
Weather, traffic/commutes, non-political events, and weekends/time off are generally safe bets
@januarydivide tag peer review !!!

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People really need to take a wider view of this paranoia about age gaps and realise this is how we lose the ability to build communities. You need to be able to realise that people can have things in common with you even if they grew up in a different time/place/culture. You also need to realise you can build communities with people who don’t have obvious things in common with you, that people can have the same goals and needs as you even if in most ways they’re very unlike you. Now, more than ever, we need to be able to work together to have any chance to stand ip against the few who have so, so much more power, money and influence than any of us do individually. We need to form communities that reach across age (and class and race and sexuality and so on…).
never will forget the gay porn I watched where the director quietly told the bottom to “lose the anime voice” and you could see overwhelming disillusionment form in his eyes
This satire article resonated with me so much

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u/HamedAliKhan
It’s funny, you can see the exact moment a kitten becomes a cat
For eight months, under the guise of a false ceasefire, Israel killed a child every day. That means 240 children in just eight months, and the war is supposedly over. But what's happening in Gaza is the opposite. Every day there are martyrs here. What is our sin? What is the sin of the children? What is the sin of their families? Please don't forget Gaza. Gaza is bleeding every day. Death continues, the siege persists, and displacement never stops.
This is the approach Israel and Benjamin Netanyahu's government follow: killing, killing, and more killing. This is what's happening to us today. I don't know when a missile might come right next to me and kill me. This is truly terrifying. We just want to live, nothing more. Is this a big dream? Oh no, it truly is a dream for me and for everyone in Gaza. Please, get us out of this hell. Please, help us get out of here. Please, I beg you.
My father has cancer and a blocked artery in his heart, my niece Iman suffers from severe anemia, and my youngest child has numerous health problems. The only solution is to leave Gaza, but this is no easy feat. The cost of leaving Gaza is exorbitant; an adult costs between $30,000 and $40,000. This is outrageous! We have no choice but to buy their medications, trying to save them and struggling to get out. Please help us and donate. Please.
Please do what you can and donate to help Nader and his family survive and leave Gaza. If everyone who sees this post donates $10, we will achieve something amazing for this family. Please donate now.
please help nader with whatever you can!!
Unfortunately, this post has been shared by nearly 500 people and no one has donated. Please donate now and help us. Please donate.
I cannot imagine the pain his father is enduring or the stress Nader must feel, please donate what you can if you can.
Pain medication should not be a privilege or a luxury. His father is freshly post-op and in immense amounts of pain. Donations are the only way to concretely help Nader and his family.
Friends, I implore you to donate. Match this donation and do your utmost to help us and donate. Please donate now.

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So if Caine and Kinger finally have a father-son relationship… does that mean Kinger calls him by his first name, all three middle names, and last name when he’s about to unleash the full force of his parental wrath
Come to think of it, it really is insane that my entire country is burning alive and literally no one in the rest of the world cares. Thousands of Indians are dying every day from the heat, it's 45+ degrees in multiple areas, the government couldn't give two fucks, we're getting severe warnings and red alerts, and not a soul outside of South Asia is speaking about it because why would you ever care about brown people
please keep talking about how Becky from Maryland doesn't like the rising gas prices. It's clearly the more pressing issue.