i will give you...two sheep.

I know this is a tiny part of the wider problems born of diet culture, fatphobia, classicism, and racism but like god the idea that "healthy" food must inherently taste bad has completely ruined us as a society.

Every time you feel bad for having coffee with cream and sugar or ranch on your salad or putting extra butter and salt on your veggies I want you to imagine the spirit of John Harvey Kellogg in front of you and then I want you to kill him with a real gun and eat your delicious food in peace.

how am I gonna be an optometrist about this

[ID: gif of a moving text in the progress pride flag colors that reads "please don't overlook aromantic, asexual & intersex folks". end ID.]

[guy whose heart is an autoclave voice] yeah man lately ive just been feeling like this great unstable mass of blood and foam yknow

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users

The thing is nobody at pride is evaluating you to determine if you’re queer enough to be there because they’re too busy thinking “it’s so hot out” and “why is this lemonade 12 dollars?”

Where’s that one post that’s like Reasons Why My Wife Cried This Week and when are we gonna get a fanfic of that but Ryland Grace.

neurospicy was an activity enjoyed by much of the 21st century usamerican middle class, related to the contemporary practices of "astrology," "psychiatry," and "phrenology." Practitioners, known as "neurospices" (singular neurospex) would attempt to categorize people through observation and consultation with the "Diesemfive," their holy book. It is said a particularly skilled neurospex could perfectly and accurately divine the conditions of another person from a single tumblr post.