Sorry For Hockey Posting @sapphicambitions - Tumblr Blog

thegleampt2fromtheglowpt22001

born too late 2 be a pirate captain's whorish cabin boy. born too early to 2 be a post-apocalyptic warlords chained up lap boy. why live

thegleampt2fromtheglowpt22001

i kno where my talents lie

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girljeremystrong

everyday i go on pinterest to search for "tandoori sauce" or "ikea hamnes hack" and such and as soon as i open it pinterest just shows me pictures of auston matthews with his thighs out

sergeifyodorov

the most influential and good leafs media person is not me it is not any of the pundits it is most certainly not steve dangle. it's katie from twitter shout out to katie fromtwitter

brandoncarlo

my favorite part about watching the stanley cup celebrations on the ice is like those men want to kiss each other so bad you can see it. it's not even gay they just want to kiss each other and if societal expectations weren't the way they were there would be so much action on that ice. in a genuinely straight way. straight men deserve to be able to celebrate by kissing each other without being judged.

puckingtrash

man I can't believe matthew tkachuk and leon draisaitl really hate-fucked their way to a goal together at ASG 2020 and then leon proceeded to ghost matthew for two years despite them playing each other a million times during the pandemic until matthew said fuck it, I'm moving across the continent to this team most people* forgot existed until now and I'm going to drag them further than drai and the oilers ever could get in the ultimate act of revenge.

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starscelly

hockey needs confessionals. not typical player robot soundbites. but i want them sitting with a bad green screen background in the middle of a game like

“and then, get this, he tells me i need to get some mouthwash! you believe that shit? like, buddy, if you’re that close to my mouth maybe YOU’RE the problem!”

“like he literally bit me. who does that? who bites someone? he’s crazy. and with a father like his, i don’t even know why i’m surprised!”

“you know i’m lining up for a face off against him and it’s really awkward, okay, because i mean. half of this league has slept with him or dreamt about it at least, right? not to call him a slut but if the shoe fits. so obviously i lose the face off,”

carpehistoryandthepens

hank green announces hes bi and he's a fan of the penguins (among other teams) in the same day. today is a good day

carpehistoryandthepens

Delighted.

#learning that hank is bi and has bad taste I. hockey teams in one day is INSANE

typhlonectes

cher-horowitz

lmao sorry if i was an old man dying from parkinson's with a lot of regrets in my life and the vampire i met in my 20s called me up 50 years after an interview where he attacked me and was like "can we try again?" and then i got to his billionaire dubai penthouse and sat down and THIS was what he said to me it would have been fucking van helsing ON THE SPOT like why don't we take a walk outside in the sunlight you shady ass queen

landrylovesmatcha

@estherwordnerd made a valid point about the lack of “holy palmers’ kiss” fan art so i obliged with a kirk x spock version of act i scene v of romeo and juliet

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toffoliravioli

some visitors at Rogers Centre

heartfairy

sorry dude can’t hang out I’m making up scenarios in my head. sorry no it’s gonna take up all my time.

meowmeowarcher

(id in alt text)

love wins happy pride

yabagofmilfs

... how can a local broadcast team be "too biased"??? What do you expect from the home team's home broadcast?? You think I'm turning on the local broadcast hosted by former home team player and home team super-fan to get a fair and unbiased telling of the game? I'm turning on the local broadcast to hear narrative installment #37 about how our team discovered the meaning of love and they are under siege by villains who enjoy pastimes such as kicking puppies. "Too biased". This isn't the national broadcast.

The things I need from my broadcast team, in order of importance:

1) For them to repeatedly suggest that our star player is a witch, using his feminine wiles to turn the game in our favor.

2) For them to assign each player a fursona and refer to it in increasingly unhinged ways throughout the season (“oh geno’s going bear mode on the bench again, yeah you can see the light leaving his eyes. Spiritually he has entered his den and is prepared to hibernate for the winter / until his next shift.”)

3) For them to provide their unique, educated perspective on what’s occurring on ice (“Geno is slapping one timers at the net—Mearsy I think he’s actually trying to hit Durzi with the puck. I actually believe that.”)

4) For them to acknowledge the deep, abiding, romantic, and carnal love between players.

5) For them to acknowledge the deep, abiding, romantic, and carnal love between themselves.

6) For one of them to be a trickster god and present a riddle so complex to a player with the equivalent of an eighth grade education who has just played 11 minutes fueled only by poppers and aggression, an experience they will be unpacking for days if not the rest of their lives

.

877158) For them to provide unbiased coverage of the game.

gaydraisaitl

a love letter to the seattle kraken

experience by ludovico einaudi

#OH MY GOD?????

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irrelevanttous

Matthew being his usual charming self and winning over the NBA on TNT panel

cheaphalloweencostume

not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl… what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀

#me about hockey rpf

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