One of the funniest things I ever experienced was when I went to go see John Mulaney live, and halfway through a bit about how expensive college in the States is, he looked down at the sleeve of his suit jacket and just. stopped. dead halt, mid sentence.
And after like three seconds, where weβre all trying to figure out the punchline because the story clearly hadnβt ended, and John Mulaney quietly says,Β βHas there been tinfoil on my buttons the whole goddamn show?β
Heβd taken his suit to the drycleaner, and theyβd wrapped the buttons on the sleeves and the coat with tinfoil to protect them, and John Mulaney didnβt notice until half-way through his set, and was SO FLABBERGASTED that he never did finish the story about college and instead did five minutes on how stupid it was that his buttons were reflecting the light and he just didnβt notice, and in that moment I understood more about John Mulaney as a person than I ever have.
during one of his portland shows, he noticed this like 7 year old girl in the front row and asked her (and her parents) if she βis aware that she is physically here right nowβ or if she was just brought along. turns out her favorite john mulaney bit is theΒ βand Iβm new in townβ bit and that sheβs seen all his stuff. He was so shocked and discomforted by the fact a SEVEN YEAR OLD has seen his shows, that he couldnβt get through a bit about donating to charity without interrupting himself at least three times to import good life lessons on this small child, as if that makes up for all the horrible things heβs said that she heard
When I saw him in Ft. Lauderdale, there was a bar in the lobby that people kept leaving to go to. At one point, a guy in the front row just got up and BOOKED IT to get drinks. John Mulaney looked over at a woman who was next to the empty seat and asked,Β βAre you with him? Whatβs his name?β
She was, in fact, with him, and she did tell him her dateβs name. John Mulaney considered this, looked around, and unplugged his microphone. Leaning in to us, he told us that we were going to trick this guy so fuckin hard. He said,Β βAt some point during the show, I am going to stop and say,Β βWell, you guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale,β and then you guys are all going to scream backΒ βWE LOVE MILKSHAKES!β Heβll be so confused.β
He then continued on with the show as normal, the drinks guy returned to his seat, and that was that for quite a long time. We thought he had forgotten about it until, at some point during what I believe was his McDonaldβs drive-thru bit, he shrugged his shoulders and said,Β βYou guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdaleβ¦β
Naturally, we erupted withΒ βWE LOVE MILKSHAKESβ and John Mulaney SWUNG around to face the drinks guy and said,Β βI bet youβre real confused now, huh, JASON?!β
ah so john mulaney is a chaotic neutral cryptid
i saw him last night and there was a good ten minute interlude where a woman told him everything she found wrong with his suit, including that his pants were too high waisted to which he replied βthatβs where my hips areβ and someone in the back shouted βlook at that high waisted man heβs got feminine hips!β and he yelled back βthatβs my joke! iβm offended!!β
I saw him live at my college. During his show he shouted something, which spooked a service dog in training that someone had brought with them (the dogs are common on campus, cause they are learning how to socialize and be in large crowds without reacting). Seeing the dog had been scared he apologized and asked the dogβs name. Upon hearing the dogs name wasΒ βBlanketβ he about lost his god damn mind he was so happy. throughout the show he kept checking on Blanket. It was adorable.
This is my favorite version of this thread now
This man is so blessed
