I’m so burned out. Healing is exhausting, being put into menopause is exhausting. My dad dying is exhausting. And I can’t afford any escape.
I have two friends where I currently live, and I don’t want to leave because my dads so sick and it’s too much for my mom to do alone. So I have severe separation anxiety this last few months.
And having $700 to pay rent, bills, food, and my medication that isn’t covered. Doesn’t allow much for joyful purchases, or escapism.
Seeing my sister and our friends going camping, and having fun. And my best friend is going to visit our mutual best friend. And train tickets aren’t cheap, so I couldn’t afford to go be with them.
It’s lonely seeing all the people I love go out and go for drinks, camping, and all those things I used to do sucks. It’s hard. And my siblings aren’t even around, so I’m the only kid my parents can rely on.
And I am sick mentally and physically, so it’s even more draining. And they don’t realize how lucky they are to experience these emotions of losing our dad far away, and not living in the house.
Living through the grief of my dad finally accepting were at the end, and just wanting to give up. Asking us to let him just die. I hate all of this.