thoughts, thoughts and more thoughts

*removing my clown makeup* There is no circus today

May you be deeply loved, well-rested, and genuinely at peace.

no revenge but i have to stop trying to understand why it happened the way it did

watching my promised afternoon thunderstorm slip from a 90% chance to a 20% chance.... baby come back i can change

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

my favorite thing about louis is he's a business major in a world of theater kids. everyone's playing psychological games with each other through theater and rock music and the fractured art of storytelling and he's like "but what are the margins on my vampire hotel"

Obligatory self reblog because Tumblr doesn't ever let anybody see my stuff unless I literally post it repeatedly

I'd love if you'd reblog this and keep it moving, with love

actual history.

using the bus tracker app is like. oh it's going to be here in three minutes. now it's five minutes. oh the bus has killed itself

I'm so glad that Rip is still an embodiment of the loyal attack dog character

tumblr is so good. whole website dedicated to BITCHING and MOANING. and television

anyway no matter what happens in a 911 finale and no matter if you liked it or hated it there will always be a plethora of beautiful yaoi posted on ao3 afterwards during the hiatus. buddie warriors can create scenarios out of the shadows on the walls and the individual grains of salt in the sea. hold my hand everyone

don’t close yourself off from potentially wonderful things because you fear the possibility of something bad

most analyses of lestat and gabrielle's "consensual" incestuous relationship overlook the fact that gabrielle is the one with the emotional power. her lifelong detachment from lestat's needs outside of her own create a dynamic where lestat is in a state of perpetual age regression because he is willing to accept whatever scraps of affection she might offer. his sexual attraction to her is born from this deprivation. it is an attachment wound that he misinterprets as desire because he has never known love from her in any other form. this also contributes to his hypersexual tendencies and his need for constant physical validation/reassurance because he must be effectively consumed in order to feel loved. this is reflected in his relationship with louis, where he seeks outside gratification from antionette because louis does not meet his extremely specific needs that were encoded by gabrielle. i think it's reductive to say that gabrielle "groomed" him (especially within the book, though this may be emphasized more in the show), but an argument can be made regardless of vampires existing outside the laws of human morality and sexual norms. there is also the issue of enmeshment, as gabrielle merely sees lestat as an extension of herself ("a secret part of her anatomy"), and not as his own person. it's often speculated that the scene where lestat kills the wolves is actually a metaphor for gabrielle giving birth to him, because she is the one who amplifies lestat's sense of violence and masculinity as a form of liberation from their shared struggle, so she might live vicariously through him. gabrielle also experienced gendered violence throughout her entire mortal life and was a victim of marital rape, and she thus views femininity as a form of weakness, so she assumes the dominant role in her relationship with lestat. their trauma bond contributes to a disorganized attachment style in which maternal and erotic roles collapse into one another, further destabilizing lestat's agency. i might write more about how this affects lestat's perception of gender later, but for now my main point is that incest is never consensual or mutually empowering, because it is always structured by an inherent imbalance of emotional authority and identity formation that predates any supposed "choice."

spring allows so many things to grow and begin again. you deserve to spend your spring growing and beginning again.