lightning strike

small town diner waitress voice: Omelas? Oh, oh no, easy mistake, you're in oh - MAY - las right now, with an A. Plenty' people get the name mixed up. Nope, no utopia here, just our small little town. *face gets really grim* We do still.. Okay well we do still have a kid that we... I mean it isn't working but- well- You know. It- It's fine. I'm sure it'll start working soon.

Ok*reduces you to a simmer* go rest for a while

the mexican football team has a 17 yrs old player and one of the funniest outcomes of this is that he cannot appear in any ad for gambling or drinking so he only appears in candy and milk advertisements. his first world cup and he's not even legally allowed to drive. his nickname is "morita" (little berry). he's three apples tall.

Mourning the potential of Percy Jackson being on filmed sitcom style with Percy breaking the fourth wall to talk to the audience and being set on the early 2000’s

i don’t want to be angry anymore i’m never going to hate again unless someone says something really stupid or if i see something i don’t like at all or maybe just whenever i feel like it

"God never gives you more than you can handle" is survivorship bias. People who got more than they could handle are dead.

(flirting) i could be your problem

no one suffers more than reddit users who hate the userbase. and no, I won't stop going on reddit and getting mad, it's not an option

sorry for [remembering a tumblr post about expressing gratitude instead of apologising to make the interaction more positive for the other person] i mean thank you for having a boyfriend who was so easy to run over withmy car and reverse over three times maybe four

There should be more hours in between midnight and 5 am because I am a night owl and also an early riser morning enjoyer and I need 8 to 10 hours of sleep also

everyone who is an excellent writer thinks they suck and will never get published. everyone whose writing sucks ass is actually getting published and displayed in barnes and noble

I’m putting in my too weak notice.