lost at sea

my brother started calling our cat "doobie brother" which he then lengthened to "dubious brother" and has since morphed into "brother dubious" like he's some sort of fucked up little monk

sorry i said it was hot when you were bleeding out :/ you literally didnt die why are you mad at me

👑 king 👑

we had a whole pearl-clutching fest last month debating whether or not we should laugh at billionaires killing themselves in their own deathtraps meanwhile media executives feel comfortable saying shit like “we’re just waiting for the people we’re exploiting to go homeless” with zero personal consequences. we need to stuff more billionaires into shitty submarines and laugh harder

Shout out to anyone that ever made a character that’s a ‘Secret Government experiment’ that escapes the lab and is now wanted and misunderstood. That’s top tier character design, thank you.

It’s giving “let’s make up some info about aliens to distract people while we commit war crimes” or perhaps some other awful action around the climate

he may be fucked up, but i gotta tell you he has excellent tits

FROM THE DEEPEST PIT OF THE SEVEN HELLS TO THE PINNACLE OF THE HEAVENS THE WORLD SHALL TREMBLE! UNLEASH ULTIMA!! is just the incantation for ultima and the only prerequisite is being cringe enough to recite it with the proper amount of chuuni flair. the heart of sabik's only power is to make adults feel no shame about doing and saying shit that's super lame

urianger could cast ultima whenever he wanted to he just doesn't want to

i like the term "gallows humor" because it always makes me think of someone getting sentenced to death and being like "i have GOT to be the funniest person at my public execution"

The psychiatrist diagnosed me with divine madness

any other diagnoses you'd like to share?

Autism