unfortunately it hurts all 3 of my feelings

there’s no one correct interpretation of a book/film in fact there’s as many interpretations as there are readers/watchers however i think it’s important to point out that my interpretation is always a bit more correct

(no beers in) So how do you perceive me in the privacy of your thoughts

I love the whole 30 is the new 21 trend like yes queen so true. Your 30s are not for having children and settling down. They are for traveling, building your career, and going to the CLUB. Freeze ur eggs if u must I don’t care. Any 30 something year old woman who’s choosing to enjoy her newfound financial stability and not spend it in an unhappy marriage has my wholehearted stamp of approval.

Had a dream that I was accidentally entered into a "Christian rap competition" and the only thing I could think to rap about was my current interest in pickling onions. The crowd thought my pickled red onion brine for Jesus rap was so cringe that they didn't even boo. The entire venue just went completely silent until I felt awkward and left.

This would have done numbers with Russian orthodox Christians you were just playing to the wrong crowd king. Protestants have no culture

"Are my pickled red onion bars wack? No, it is simply the protestants who are wrong."

I wish insomnia at least gave you more usable hours in the day instead of just more hours where you are stupid

Is it socially acceptable to use opaque watercolors, or is that considered gouache?

pop health science is so annoying bc it'll be like "did you know? eating strawberries will give you mega cancer" and you're like pfft whatever begone influencer. but sometimes then you'll see a reasonably credible article like "Study Shows Possible Link Between Strawberries and Mega Cancer" and you're not usually the type to follow that kind of thing religiously but idk maybe you should consider not eating strawberries? but then there's another article saying "Strawberry/Mega Cancer Study Debunked" and it turns out the original study had a sample size of 3 and was funded by Big Blueberry, and strawberries may have a small connection to mega cancer but only if you are genetically predisposed to mega cancer and eat 50 strawberries every day. so you return to your strawberry eating life. but whenever you eat strawberries in public someone tells you about the mega cancer.

good morning everyone it's time to be tortured to insanity and then of course tortured for being insane

has anyone noticed recently that it's expensive

times like these really make you appreciate pouring river water in your socks

Kill all Meta glasses wearers

joe biden should do another stimulus check where the ira sends me a lox bagel. with cream cheese please

irs.

oh boy! something in my mailbox from the IRA? I wonder what it could be!