The Archive

honey is the only food product that never spoils. there are pots of honey that are over five thousand years old and still completely edible

i also want to point out we know it tastes the same even after thousands of years b/c archaeologists who discovered two thousand year old honey tasted it. presumably right after they looked at each other and went “what the hell here goes nothing”

I’m pretty sure they also identify human remains by taste. Archaeologists are straight up freaks.

mai nam is jane and wen i dig i fynde some roks both smol and big i put my tung upon the stone for science yes i lik the bone

I’m sitting with a bunch of archaeologists and we just laughed so hard we CRIED we’re getting tshirts with this on them

I will never ever get tired of seeing bredlik poems. It is really one of the seminal art forms of the century. I am not being sarcastic. 

If I ever don’t reblog this, assume I’m dead and archaeologists are licking my bones.

I wonder if people in the fallout universe are still using 200 year old tampons or if some crazy chemist named fuckass atomic Becky or whatever has figured out how to mass manufacture them

Making home brew wasteland birth control and/or testosterone at a chemistry station out of some random stuff you found in a subway station. No need for atomic Becky’s janky tampons after that.

Atomic Becky of course has an issue with homebrew testosterone. Not because she’s transphobic but because there’s less people buying her questionable tampons.

h- hopital

The hospital is overrun with super mutants so good luck with that

How I post when I don't know the Followers of the Apocalypse are right there and can solve this problem for free.

Not everyone lives near the followers of the apocalypse. Some of us are still raiding zombie infested Walmarts for some Tylenol.

funny post and all but this is genuinely an issue with Bethesdas Fallout. It's like time stands still in the years immediately following the nuclear war. People are living in scrap metal hovels and scavenging crumbling supermarkets for neccessities, even though supposedly 200 years has passed? There's no sense of human progress, rebuilding, evolution. it's one of the reasons new vegas is better. there's still ruins and shit but people are doing agriculture, running businesses, developing a new world. the old is still very much there but it's not all there's to it.

I’m so glad I have tumblr gold so I can view this post

Tumblr gold users rise up

you can only reblog if you have tumblr gold. dont even try if you dont.

Reblog if you have Tumblr gold

Tumblr Code.

my friend has a tumblr account but DOESNT know this… life is so empty

I FOUND THE ORIGINAL

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

Together they create the full set.

tumblr black out poetry

Imagine if sometimes some fucking Ț̷̡͂̀̎͠h̸̜̅͐̄ì̸̩̮̃̃̆n̸̗̰̟͉͐̑͋͆͜g̸̮̻͔̼̬͌ could just crash through the shimmering veil of reality with a trail of fragments from the suffocating void enveloping it, grab whoever's unlucky enough to be closest, and swoop back out like it was nothing. And this was just one of your everyday hazards to worry about. Incredible cosmic horror concept

if shes your girl then why have i slowly been replacing her parts until there’s nothing left of her original body? is she then still your girl?

tumblrites can have a little intertextuality as a treat

*me shoving transitive properties into my purse* sorry, I have to go

We owe the reddit refugees an apology for making them see posts like this

no we don’t this shit is enrichment in their new enclosure

*slaps roof of Tumblr* This baby can fit so many rare vintages, you just have to go deep enough, there are some great memes in the cellar, come see

hey so... when i was doing surgery on you... this is awkward... i found an evil bone in your body

Please tell me you took it out???

Testing to see if Staff actually rolled back...

@staff @humans nobody wants your shitty UI changes and if we wanted to be on twitter we already would be. this will make the site worse