i'm on the cover of the fucking game

"Eric Bittle" I know who that is

"Dicky" I know who that is

"Junior" I know who that is

shane and ilya will die if they’re not touching (“okay those two are definitely together”)

svetlana and ilya and rose go clubbing but shane goes to bed early and they come back to the hotel drunk asf, arms around eachother, dying of laughter (“oh so it’s a throuple?”)

shane and rose go on a sunrise hike and rose is leaning on shane and they’re casual huggers (“maybe those two are also dating bc no way is he cheating on the guy?”)

svetlana scolding ilya about wearing sunscreen in russian and he’s arguing back (“that sounds like wife yelling not friend yelling”)

svetlana and rose being super touchy and complimenting eachother a lot and doing eachothers hair (“oh lord they’re so hot together”)

they’re eating breakfast at the hotel and they’re all feeding each other and grabbing things for each other and “try the orange juice it’s so good” and “i got you coffee” (“maybe they’re poly?”)

Shane lifts one eyelid again to look at Rozanov. His eyes are red-rimmed. Like he’s been crying. “Why…why aren’t you in Boston?” Rozanov’s brow furrows. “Why would I be in Boston?” “You, you’re captain. Raiders. Boston.” The room is silent except for the beeping of monitors.

In 2023, Shane takes a bad hit on the ice. When he wakes up, the last thing he remembers is a tuna melt.

There’s a lot to get used to.

suddenly, shane is in proper black and white formal for the first time ever, a designer suit jacket with a little point to the shoulder that makes him look all sensual and broad. accessories keep making their way in. a snakeskin belt, a loafer that doesn't look like it's from 2005, a signet ring. and of course, ilya always ties the rolex in, wear the one with the emerald face, i'll put you in a matching sock and maybe some gemstone cuff-links. his casuals remain casual, but every once in awhile he sneaks in a pair of impeccably tailored $800 jeans, or a vintage acid wash muscle tee ilya had to fight tooth and nail for on ebay. he puts his baby in cashmere sweaters that would make princess diana cry.

and people notice. of course they notice. there are theories, who is the stylist, is it a social media stunt, a new sponsorship everything their influence. and yes, a part of him is resentful he can't claim credit, but when shane asks him once, while ilya delicately folds his silk pocket square, why do you do this for me? ilya runs a hand over his dress shirt, groping at his pecs, and says, they all wonder why you look so pretty. is because i want my boyfriend to look pretty for me. they wonder, and i know. i know it's for me. it isn't for you, malysh. is for me.

And Ilya, through spousal privileges, gets to know these things about the Metros too. And while Shane would never breathe a word of this outside the locker room and his own bedroom, Ilya does not feel so bound.

So when the Metros drop shit about Shane being a fag who is sucking off the entire Ottawa roster, Ilya drops anonymous information online like that Comeau refuses to wear condoms and gave his wife chlamydia because he cheats on her constantly. And each time one of them says shit about Shane something new about them drops online.

“that guy in the background, ridiculously handsome”

when your husband is putting on a show for you and beating your summer fling