Saint

Quick into: I made this space because adulthood is confusing, the world is loud, and I don’t want to grow alone. If you feel the same, you’re welcome here + be respectful (you know what I mean)

I often hear "What are you waiting for?", but I recently heard "Who are you waiting for?" and thought this rewriting of the question offers more to think about. I'll answer both.

What am I waiting for? School to end. I don't like school because the amount of time I have to myself is almost nonexistent. On top of that, the teachers and advisers who keep telling that everything is important, never miss a class, and whatnot. A lot of it is BS. Of course, the teachers will know their class more than you do, but you can actually tell when a teacher just doesn't like their students. If you know, you know. College gave me a taste of freedom since there is no one breathing down my neck, and I can go into the city on the weekends.

Second would be moving to my chosen city. When I am not at school, I'm just in a small town full of elderly people, new families, and elementary and high schoolers. and all local activities are catered to them. They are young adults, but there are no destinations for hangouts unless you go 30 minutes out of town. Luckily, I registered for some classes at the local college, so I have the opportunity to meet some people, and I might have a friend when I visit home - we will see.

Who am I waiting for? A mentor? Someone who knows the world and wants to share their knowledge. I found it harder than I thought, because where the heck am I going to find someone with the life I want and willing to share that knowledge? Oh? Should I find them in the spaces I want to be? Yeah, but the problem is that the spaces I want to be in are off-limits due to exclusivity, and the only way to get in is to know someone in that group. Yes, there are websites you can go to, but either the causes seem dead, or they're promoting nightlife. Ugh

The biggest advice I keep seeing is to "Be yourself."

Yeah, I'm rolled, and still rolling my eyes at this because... well, who am I?

I realized I do know who I am, but I have struggled to feel comfortable showing that in different situations. Now, as I work on this, here are some reminders for embracing authenticity:

1- Be fine with disagreeableness. My biggest flaw was that I was always so concerned with being liked by my peers that I ended up just agreeing with their general opinion. Or maybe if I felt strongly about something, I would end up just shutting up just for the sake of keeping the peace. What made me realize this was a problem was meeting someone else just like that and finding how uncanny it was. Mind you, there is nothing wrong with swallowing pride and keeping the peace, BUT it is a problem when you do it all the time.

Why? People LOVE other people's opinions (assuming the other person is in a healthy state of mind). Those who don't like or even appreciate someone with a different opinion aren't mentally well, and you should probably keep your distance. Yes, there are things the majority of people agree with: save the trees, world peace, and the like. I'm not talking about these, but having some disagreements shows your personality - that makes you interesting. To be someone’s favorite person, you have to be slightly disagreeable.

2- have fewer filters. If you're like me, then you think too much before speaking. I had a reason for this: I stumble on my words and was told to think before speaking so I can have my thoughts in order; other great minds told me to do the same, but I find that I was thinking too much to the point where I was ready to give my statement, and the conversation had already passed. I find that it is best to find the middle ground- don't say the first thing, but if you trust yourself, say the second. Have fun doing this.

Why? Having fewer filters and just saying your second or third thought is curated enough to be acceptable, but not so bland. Ex: If you are at a job interview and you are asked: "Why do you want this job?" My first thought would be "For the money". This answer, while honest, would not go over well, but my second thought would be "because it would help me gain the experience I need for where I am heading." That is a much better answer, and it is still being you.

3- Make plans. This is the biggest one for me because too many times I felt embarrassed when someone would ask me, "What did you do today/yesterday/last week/ last weekend?" and I would have nothing to say other than "nothing" or "relaxed at home." This may not seem like a big deal because everyone would agree or validate it, but the most interesting people I know have plans, and you could almost always count on them to have some kind of story to share. People love stories - evidence being the popularity of storytimes on social media. So I find it best to get to know your interests and hobbies, then, if feeling adventurous, bring them outside.

I found this magazine website (here) and thought it woulb be fun to post. Im young and dumb, so I am always ready to expand my understanding of the world and the rout I would like to go down.

One of the reasons as to why I like this artical is because it is much easier to read than some of the others I tried to read (they had some complex stats and charts....). There is some sense of humor and realism that also preserve the dream so...yeah, here are some of my thoughts.

PSA: I am no expert. While reading, you will see words or phrases in "" - those are the lines from the magazine.

So this page lays the foundation on the conversation "What is a Socialite?" They expand the definition with

"A socialite operates at the intersection of wealth, influence, and cultural gatekeeping. The role demands constant calibration between visibility and discretion, generosity and exclusivity."

"The fundamental distinction separating socialites from mere celebrities lies in origin story. Celebrities earn fame through achievement in entertainment, sports, or business. Socialites derive prominence from lineage, connections, and the deliberate cultivation of social influence. The talent is the network itself."

Ha. Don't you love it when someone is able to put your thoughts into word? Rant - Why is it that people think that socialites are famous? They can be but most of the time that is not the case. if you consider influencers as celebrities than that is up to you - I'm just saying that most socialites are not mainstream. Next-

So, we are still at the beginning, so we get abit of a hisory leson about Mrs. Astor. For those who do not know, Mrs. Astor use to DOMINATE the social scene in NYC during the Gileded Age (same time as the industial revolution in the USA). What made her so fasinating to me is that she, who had married into the Astor family, made her own reputaions and build it until she rained over the NYC social scene - she hosted many parties, even create and exclusive lise of people and families. if you where on the list that you where apart of high society - if not you where an embarrassment even if you came from a prominate family.

Good for her, but Alva Vanderbilt did shake that image. Like most others she was never invited to an Astor party so she build up her image an started hosting her own and git far on the social scene. To the point where her iwn parties got so famous that she intentionally did NOT invite Mrs. Astor’s daughter, Carrie Astor, to her 1883 Vanderbilt Costume Ball, which made Mrs. Astor to ask for a ticket for her daughter. G

So basiclt this section goes over the cost of being an active socialite. Keep in mind, this is adjusted to NYC pricing.

"The New York Times calculated that maintaining socialite status costs between $98,000 and $455,000 annually. Young socialites skew toward the lower figure. Established matriarchs commanding multiple charity boards and hosting obligations require the higher budget."

Do not be discouraged. From what I have been seeing, life as a socialite happens in a matter of years, not months. Whatever situation you are in, most likely it is temporary and you will grow from it - as long as you have that growth mindset.

for the ones in their teens, 20 and 30, Jodie Taylor (in one of her videos) did say that most of these parties are felled with 40+ and the her age group (mid 30s) tend to be isolated in corners. Not to say 20 year olds are not there (from what I can gather) it's just that they would probably prefer more fashionable places...

Also! something else i like from this website is that they have a lot of resources, one being a social event calendar that is published yearly (Hamptons Events Calendar). Can I afford it? No. But i think it is still a good thing to look at since it list event and event types to keep a look out for. It gives a since of the environment that would make for good social setting and references. but that would be more work for me to find out...that's a few things now.... *Make a social calendar of places in my city of places for likeminded 20 something year old's..that in in budget.

back on topic - So the rest of the section is a general break down of the spending needed: wardrobes, event tickets and hosting.

This is something that I had briefly covered. But this idea is stronger so I feel the need to repeat.

Kardashian-Jenner family + Paris Hilton = celebrity-socialite hybrid, media exposure.

Olivia Palermo + Lauren Santo Domingo = fashion-influencer path

"The distinction between socialite and influencer matters. Influencers monetize attention directly through sponsored content and brand partnerships. Socialites convert social capital into access, relationships, and indirect business opportunities. The influencer’s metric is engagement rate. The socialite’s metric cannot be measured publicly."

I say, be careful about which direction to take. Now, this is something I can say with confidence: while the celebrity-socialite/Influencer-socialite may be the fastest way if you play your cards right, it's also the easiest to go south. The internet is forever, and it doesn't forget. Literally look at the video of the Kardashian-Jenner family. Everyone is plotting for their downfall, their cancellation. Yes, people are talking about them, but the public is always digging up past drama every time something new comes up. But like the rest of the category, their light dims with irrelevance. Those who want that path, just be careful, because people can just be MEAN on the internet.

I have a special place for the path of a socialite known in their own niche. much more private, and it is an easier way to reinvent yourself if you feel like a change. Yes, the journey is much slower, but it gives the opportunity to create a strong foundation. think of it this way: the faster you rise, the faster you can fall, but the slower the rise, the slower the fall.

"A philanthropist is a person who dedicates time, money, or resources to promote human welfare and improve the quality of life for others." - Google.

Now I learn a  few more new things: what a philanthropist is and the existence of Jean Shafiroff.

"If you want to understand what a socialite is in contemporary terms, study Jean Shafiroff. Named “First Lady of Philanthropy” by Gotham Magazine and the New York State Assembly, she chairs approximately eight to nine charity galas annually while serving on seven nonprofit boards.”

It's women like this that I aspire to be - chair of multiple organizations, hosting and attending events,  and doing it all to benefit others in her causes.

When it comes to party planning, my most experience was being a committee member of my school's events club. Not the most glamorous, but it was busy behind the scenes, even for the smaller events we did. Gathering materials, transport, setting up, making sure everything is running smoothly while the party is going, taking down, organizing, regrouping, and this is all so surface-level. To think of all the planning that would go into hosting a charity gala... let me at it.

"The Shafiroff approach emphasizes impact over imagery. As she has stated, “If you do not have large amounts of money to donate, you can become a philanthropist by giving your time and knowledge.” Her book “Successful Philanthropy: How to Make a Life by What You Give” codifies this philosophy."

How does this apply to me? Sometimes I feel young, dumb, and broke, so much so that I feel I have nothing to offer the world, but I've found that someone like me can do a lot. How? Help where it is needed: helping someone carry groceries, offering to put their basket away, helping set up tables if you see someone doing it by themselves, volunteering - even if it is for a day, or even an hour. I feel better when I do it, so I will continue.

This is a good mindset to have because most successful socialites have some cause they stand for and promote: fashion, dancing, peace, security, medicine, whatever. Just something you are passionate about because: 1. People like it when someone is passionate about something, 2. you seem much more interesting, 3. you have a topic to fall back on. Example: Ada “Bricktop” Smith. She was a dancer and opened and hosted dancing and jazz clubs, teaching and training elites like celebrities, royals, and even politicians to dance, and she was very successful with it. She loved to dance, and that passion brought her success in the social scene. She even became friends with the Duke and Duchess of Windsor. Yeah. Mind you, she was born into poverty, but she did all that for herself.

Ok so section goes into more dept into the events and the standards for the attendees.

Of course, while the article mostly speaks from New York state, the whole of the north east cost should be emphasized because that is where most of old money resides. The dress code? The article says "Modern socialites increasingly favor the quiet luxury aesthetic: Loro Piana and Brunello Cucinelli rather than logo-heavy designer pieces." But that can be summed up to being tsateful and dressing for the even without making it seem that it is your first time attending. I would say try not to soloy rely on Instagram or Pinterest to find what to wear. If you can find the types of parties posted online somewhere - find mid party shots - and see what everyone is wearing.

"The Southampton Hospital Foundation Summer Party ranks among the most coveted invitations, drawing healthcare philanthropists and social figures annually. Polo Hamptons events combine sport with socializing at private Bridgehampton estates. The Hampton Classic Horse Show during late August brings equestrian sport together with celebrity sightings and VIP hospitality."

The rest of the section is general standard of practice: Always buy a ticket - if you somehow are able to get it for free than be sure to make a donation, dress code matters

"Dress codes matter intensely. Black tie means black tie, not beach attire with heels. The Hamptons aesthetic favors flowing dresses, solid or floral patterns, and restrained elegance over revealing cuts. Men should expect collared shirts and long pants minimum."

Be considerate of the host and attendees - "Never crash events or request free tickets. Arrive prepared to stay through cocktails at minimum even if you cannot attend the entire evening. If photographed, tag the charity rather than yourself. Business cards exchange information when appropriate, but never bombard anyone with proposals during dinner."

Be born into it

"Choose causes aligned with genuine passion rather than social calculation."

Strategic marriage - like inheriting the social capital (think Wendi Deng Murdoch)

Now I feel a bit silly for going over 2 in a previous section , so we can just go over the 'how to.'

"Genuine socialites understand that reputation compounds like interest. Every interaction either deposits or withdraws from your social account. Reliability builds credit. Drama depletes it rapidly."

Reputation is everything so protect it with your life.

Also, it is best to stay out of drama the VERY best you can. Things happen and sometime your name may be involved just out of convenance but keep in mind that the upper class are very private people and being known for drama would make you seem 'to risky' to do business with or make the face of a foundation. yes, you can be turned down for an opportunity because of your drama history.

"The best networkers give before asking. They make introductions without expecting reciprocation. They attend events to support others rather than to be seen. Paradoxically, this generosity creates more social gravity than any amount of self-promotion."

I like this one because generosity puts you in a good position: you strengthen friendships when you support each other and also others make that association with you and see you are reliable.

Ok, we are at the last section

"The result bifurcates the category. Public-facing socialites leverage platforms for personal brands, product lines, and media opportunities. Traditional socialites retreat further from documentation, making their gatherings genuinely exclusive precisely because no evidence escapes."

Side rant - surprisingly media socialites are easier to spot. the more flamboyant ones typically overdress and take up a lot of space

(I screen shot the image form this video by Mademoiselle Spends on YouTube - a good channel to watch)

This is extreme. I'm not saying to be boring - I'm saying to be tasteful.

"Younger generations increasingly question the relevance of formal society structures. The concept of “the right people” carries less weight when algorithms determine cultural influence. Yet the underlying mechanics persist. Humans still form hierarchies. Access still requires gatekeepers. Certain rooms still require invitation."

Yeah, this makes sense. But the thing is that every section - from the 'hood' to the elites - all have their own problems and standards that are maintained. My thought is that if you go into someone's home, you need to follow the house's rules. It is ok to wonder, be curious, and have your own thoughts. But do not go in and try to reinvent the wheel. Be considerate of those who are already there. It's like going into someone's home for the first, second, or even third time and giving all your criticisms to the host about what they need to change and what doesn't make sense to you. It's rude. Just because you don't see the value doesn't mean it is not valuable.

This isn't to say to dim your light. Ex: I do not favor the color white; I love color, but I have a feeling, based on media, that daytime, outdoor events may favor white. So for the first few times I would lean into white, but at the event I will see what others - those who had been in the space longer - are wearing and see what I can get away with for next time. Maybe add a touch of blue, green, or your color of choice with the majority of the outfit being white. Then, when I become more of a recurring face, I could start experimenting more - don't be extreme.

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Well that's the end of the article.

Did I like it?

For clarity:

Socialite - A socially prominent person, usually wealthy or high‑status, known for being active in elite social circles and events.

Social Climber - Someone who tries to raise their social status by attaching themselves to higher‑status people, often in obvious or strategic ways.

PSA - I am no expert, just someone with thoughts.

Are Socialites social climbers?

Before, I would say 'no' because when I think of 'socialite' I think of someone who has already made it - already at the top. After some thinking, I realized that may not be true, because to be a socialite, you can't just be in the same circles. Of course, you have your close friends, but you are not limited to them - you still made connections outside. You are not born a socialite; you have to get to know people who know people who know the people you want to know, and I see that as social climbing because, for it to work, you would have to find people who are on a higher social ladder. You could say that bveing a socialite is just being friends withe everyone while a social climber has a purpose - that would make since until you take someone lik Paris hilton who went from reality TV and intagram to speacking in the white house - now that oppertunity may have just landed in her lap but if she wanted to, she could have had used her connection to connect her to the people who can help her get there - whoul that be social climbing? Even if she is already known as a socialite? Yes, the family she was born into is influential, and I have no doubt that they have access to political friends, but who in their right mind would bring their occasional friend's kid to give a speech just because they asked? (This is just how my brain thinks.)

Before I go off topic - I do believe that most? A good handful of socialites were social climbers, especially if they started at the bottom and social climbed their way up. That would be fair, but I want to introduce a phrase- Social Mobility.

Social Climbing vs Social Mobility - two sides of the same coin

In their simplest form:

Social Climbing - using people to climb the social ladder in a negative way - burning bridges, manipulating, being two-faced, and other negative associations.

Social Mobility - using connections already made to navigate into more social circles, structural opportunities like career advancement, schooling, or economic shifts. But in a more positive way: expanding your network and preserving the structure you have (maintain connections).

I believe it is best to know the difference. Yes, if I am being completely frank, people 'use' each other all the time. We want friends because we want connection, company and community. The reason we want a spouse is commitment and a solid foundation for a family, and so on. How I see it, people begin to be upset when they are 'used' when they do not get anything valuable back in return (using you) and/or being forgotten after (the negative example of a social climber). This builds resentment and even hatred towards you. To be successful, you do not want this, because people have their own minds. Maybe one of these harden individuals can find themselves positioned above you and make your life hell, or they can tell their friends (or anyone who will listen) to do the same.

See, I love this channel and this video. Albina talks about what it takes when you do marry someone who is wealthy, but I find it extremely useful for marriage in general.

Key Points:

CEO of the Household - anything house related is your territory and you need to take care of everything that goes on in it. Discretion - Never describe your partner in a negative light (never talk bad about him) Elevate Him - praise him where you can. Being Cash Poor - know the difference between money value in assets vs spending power. Ex: He could say he has a network of 5 million, but that could be that he has a 3 million house and 2 million dollar car, but only has a few thousand in the bank. He is right, he has a large network, but he only has maybe a $3,000 in spending power. Embrace His Vulnerability -Cheer him on. You are his wife, partner and biggest cheerleader -he should be able to come to you for emotional support Ability to Stay Calm - If you are the wife of a CEO or/and a risk taker, there will be no stability in your life, but do not have extreme emotions (overly happy or overly sad). If you are not stable than the whole family unit falls apart. Of course be happy when something good happens - men love it when their wife smiles - just be stable and grounded. You’re a Risk Taker - do what needs to be done and overcome fear Keep Him Grounded - Reasoning Be Secure In Yourself - Know who you are and keep your standards Absolute Loyalty - In your marriage you are a team and you need to be on your husband's side when in public. if he says "the sky is orange", agree when in public even if you disagree.

Listen - If you feel you cannot walk away when you need to, do not be in a realtionship.

Too many people have the belief that "things will get better" or "he will change". Ok, lets talk.

MEN ARE NOT STUPID - read and say that 10x if need be

In fact, they are VERY smart and will play you if you cannot see that.

Always assume they know exactly what they are doing.

"What if he didn't see the text" - he saw the text and chose to ignore you. Everyone has their phone on them.

“He’s probably just busy.” - every single day? each time you try to reach him? People make time for the things they are passionate about. You can probable think of all the times where you dropped something just to make time for yourself - he can and will do the same for the things that are worth his time (and it is not you)

“He’s going through a lot right now.” - Ok and? If whatever it is is recent than yes have sympathy but that is no excuse if he acts out or go into bad habits - regulating emotions should've been taught in school. If it happened 6 months ago and more?.......you are kidding right. People are responsible for themselves - he is responsible for himself. you are not his therapist.

“He’s just not ready for a relationship right now.” - say that again. repeat it until you understand it. If he is not ready for a relationship or the type of relationship that you want, why are you here??? Go find someone who does.

“He’s probably waiting for the right moment.” - start walking

“Maybe I’m overthinking it.” - you are. Start walking.

"What if" - Stop. Unless you known him for a while and you got a good picture of his personality, always assume he knows what he is doing. You could give him a second chance, but after that no. no more. no if's, but's, just a no. he proved he will not change for you.

"What if he just doesn't know better" -that is a child. go find someone who does know better because you are going to be dragged into that chaos

Honestly this goes for women too. For everyone.

PSA - I am no expert nor am I a socialite. I mostly have dreams and scour the internet and read books when i am not talking to others, but you do not need to be a cat to know what a cat is so here is my two cents.

This is the main comment I see under any question relating to being a socialite or anyone who is trying to climb the ranks fall under this:

"Money money and money."

"Get rich first"

"If you are not born from it than forget about it."

There are more - a lot more - viewer may now better but for those who don't, I will explain.

Do you need money to be a socialite? No. The short answer is no. Long answer:

Think of popular girls in school or in media - yes, they have money and that helps but what else? could it how they talk? the way they walk? the people they hang around? How they style themselves? The attitude? Do they only sit in their house and not go anywhere? do they have friends? Maybe their charm? And the list goes on.

Being a socialite can be a job, but at it's core it is a lifestyle - the way you live and spend your life. If you are creative, you don't need a lot of money to do it. Here is a list of example:

Ada “Bricktop” Smith, Josephine Baker, Eartha Kitt, Dorothy Dandridge, Diana Vreeland, Bianca Jagger, Dita Von Teese, Iris Apfel, Tilda Swinton, Grace Jones, Edie Sedgwick, Amanda Lepore, and Julia Fox are all examples of self‑made socialites who rose from poverty, instability, complete obscurity or nothing at all than got into elite cultural circles.

What do they have in common? Passions, charming personalities, smarts and, most importantly, the want for better. It would have been so easy for these people to just accept the situations they where born with and decide that that would be their life.

Or maybe it would be harder to accept that since that would mean giving up all your dreams or watering them down...anyway-

Maybe we thing that something superficial like money, follower account, views or the sorts is the only thing that matters and actual social capital and being an actually interesting person outside of social media.

I see why we may think this because when we think of socialites we think of the Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashians and whatever media icon you could be thinking of, but the personalities that last mostly do not appear on social media or not so well known to the general public - they are known in their communities and behind the scenes work.

Most of unknown socialites climbed up the corporate latter and that is how they get exclusive invites (money would be the result of those kind of path), some do it threw friends of friends, either way you have more to stand on when you do it threw friends.

If you are convinced that someone would need money to be able to do anything, than sure I will play with that idea, but it wont get as far as you are thinking.

Think this: Money is what is going to get you in the door, but personality is what people are going to love and want more of. There for, you are going to keep being invited. Makes since? If all you have is money and nothing else than that is all people are going to want from you and when it is gone, they are gone.

Ok so yeah -

I was scrolling threw the internet as I usually do - the typical "how to be a socialite"/"what does it take to be a socialite".

I do my best to bypast the outdated/surface level information or the things I already took note of then I finally go to Reddit.

option: I try my best to navigate the internet especially ones like Reddit and Quora, because of the amount of lonely individuals who feel the need to drag down EVERYONE down to their level but sometimes i do find some jems on there with solid advice an di feel like sharing the things I found.

I like this post - my area of interest and very straight forward, but what got my attention the most was that this was 5 months ago, which is pretty recent compared to other post I found that was years ago.

I tried to reach out to the person who posted because I wanted to know how they where doing and if they they had gotten anywhere with their life but it seems that the person had shut off there chat so.................I cried for a min- ANYWAY

i went threw the person's comment history and comments they got (thanks Reddit) and I had my thoughts and options

The #1 response this person got was "unless you where born with money than you can forget about it" - which I find very closed minded and restrictive but lets continue to the more worth while comments

i like this comment because 1. realistic - yes, most affluent people who are born into this world do go to school with each other and that builds they connections they will have in the future, there for meet, date, and marry within the space.

2. Social skills and popularity does matter (the area I'm looking to improve). You can be a workaholic but If you are not good with people than you are not going to get far. YES being skilled in your field is important , but the people who are well connected are gifted with a lot of opportunities.

3. as for getting a mentor...sigh..is much harder than people think or maybe I just don't know where to look.

I believe I have some common since but I have many flaws so I can't say I'm good at it yet.

Women - I only distance when I can tell or is mad obvious that you like what i dislike and I like the things you dislike. Nothing wrong with it - I would love to spend time together but if we are too different we can just be occasional friends and i would love that. The times I would hate a girl or openly distance myself from them is when she would go out of her way to dis me or have no consideration. I never had too bad of an experience with a women so I am not so eager to filter.

Men - I think this is where things start to fall off a bit - It gets real strict around here. Listen.. I'm straight and so I take every man that is around my age as a... potential romantic partner (?) so within a day or two of meeting them I put them in a category: strictly friend, potentially date or dating, never see me again. how he acts towards me and his environment would tell me enough. I'm young, yes, so I haven't work this system on everybody, but after at MOST a week i know what I am dealing with.

Currently I have a headache and my thinking process might be skewed but i feel like writing so here we go.

If you are new to me, I would like to say that i am a relatively deep thinker and i have a large imagination. I'm constantly thing of myself in deferent situations and what i would do in them sometimes to the point of forgetting where i am currently in life.

I have my dreams, wants and goals and I think of them constantly because of my large imagination. What I am complaining about is that because of my 101 thoughts I constantly feel like i am not doing enough to get there. This hyper productive mentally has failed me time and time again. I don't end up with the result I wanted and end up just drained, overstimulated or with a headache. So I'm trying to slow down, but habit is getting the better of me, so I have a new idea.

I use my mind a lot, so I'm going to try a more physical hobby like gardening. I love flowers and going outside because I am not in my head as much and staying in solidarity inside for so long gives me anxiety and I get more upset with myself - also I just really really like flowers. So, that's my big idea and If I have a pressing thought I want to get in the habit of just writing it down and worrying about it later.

As always I post on here to keep me accountable and the reminder that it is okay to put goals to the side temporarily for the say of your mental health. I read today that old money individuals lean towards doing what they love. Yes they work and have high standards for themselves, but they do not deprived themselves from the joys of life. My guess this is because they are so wealthy that they do not have to worry taking time away from their responsibilities for the sake of themselves - like not having to work so hard (hyper productivity). whatever the case may be, i want to be in their mindset and because i don't have that upbringing i may not understand the things they do but that's ok. my way isn't working, evidence of my exhaustion and headache, so i will rely on what i read and try it out. if it works than great, if not than i will try something else.

Usually when I get to yapping one of the first things that come from people's mouth is that I'm spoiled and/or bougie.

This could be their way of joking or a serious statement, but I accept it either way. people Had told me before that is an insult and if I get it often I should check how I move through the world.

Listen...I am very aware of my life style and privilege. I like nicer things and I am ok with that and want to keep living that way because it makes me happy. Is a luxury lifestyle and wealth the only thing on my mind, no. There are so many other things that I value, but if you label me as spoiled, high maintenance, or bougie without trying to understand my thinking process or you just do it with ill intent than that's says more about you than me.

Now, this isn't to say that I dismiss all criticism. If you say that I am being a b*tch than I will reflect/ask other people who are not in relations to each other and if I get the same answer than I'll check my behavior.

I cannot control the thoughts of those around me nor control all the interactions I have daily. For that reason, I am very slow to explain my reasoning to anyone who isn't important to me. With some people you can't win and that's ok - welcome to the real world. Honestly, you really do not want to be around those types of people any way.

I'm probably am going to edit this later, but I feel the need to write this before I forget - Envy/Jealousy is the #1 killer of friendships.

If you feel yourself being annoyed or wishing ill intent when you see your friends making progress in the world I have a few recommendations for you

Therapy - allowing it to go on will eat you alive and ruin you, so get help

If you are on the more sane side I have a recommendation for you - turn it into motivation.

Think of the movie How to Marry a Millionaire

Assuming you and your friends have similar goals - be like the 3 main women in the movie. The literally buy an apartment to gather in the richest part of the city for the sole reason of marring rich.

They where not jealous of each other or ever envious. They supported one another and build off each other. That's a healthy friendship. So be like that (not exactly in the movie).

They didn't change each other to be like one onto or morphed into the same person - they where each their own person with their own personalities. But they did keep each other accountable and lift up each other. (Accountable = Motivation)

So when you see your friends leveling up, see if you can do that too with your own spin. You see them going out to events more? trying do that too but with events in your own interests. They are trying a new style? Prefect time to try that dress and hairstyle you have on your Pinterest board. You see what I mean?

Friendship + Envy = Disaster vs Friendship + Motivation = Prosperity

I don't think I had posted this before, I'm 20 years old and in college.

That information alone still surprises me, because I had felt kiddish until recently.

Context: I always wanted to grow up. I hated school and felt suffocated because of it. College is much better, but I would feel much better without the extracurricular classes, but that's besides the point. Now I am 20 and bout to enter my junior year. I am an adult, but just the feeling of exiting teen years is making me feel weird.

Would I rather go back to my teen years? F*CK NO! I will take any adult challenge than to go back to middle and high school - they can eat my dust -

Maybe it's because I was forced to mature quickly and was hyper focused on reaching adult hood so much I couldn't appreciate my teens years for what it was.

This artwork is part of an advertising campaign for Lancôme created by the artist Mianlang (眠狼). - Thank Google

I love this image. Whenever I need a quote or need to see a pretty image ( I am a very visual person) I would often look back at this.

From the quote "Life is beautiful" (English) and "Who will you make happy today?" to the light and beautiful imagery. Gorgeous and it makes me happy.