🌾 I look past the dry blades before me, knowing that my own resilience is just as quiet, just as enduring.

PSA - I am no expert nor am I a socialite. I mostly have dreams and scour the internet and read books when i am not talking to others, but you do not need to be a cat to know what a cat is so here is my two cents.

This is the main comment I see under any question relating to being a socialite or anyone who is trying to climb the ranks fall under this:

"Money money and money."

"Get rich first"

"If you are not born from it than forget about it."

There are more - a lot more - viewer may now better but for those who don't, I will explain.

Do you need money to be a socialite? No. The short answer is no. Long answer:

Think of popular girls in school or in media - yes, they have money and that helps but what else? could it how they talk? the way they walk? the people they hang around? How they style themselves? The attitude? Do they only sit in their house and not go anywhere? do they have friends? Maybe their charm? And the list goes on.

Being a socialite can be a job, but at it's core it is a lifestyle - the way you live and spend your life. If you are creative, you don't need a lot of money to do it. Here is a list of example:

Ada “Bricktop” Smith, Josephine Baker, Eartha Kitt, Dorothy Dandridge, Diana Vreeland, Bianca Jagger, Dita Von Teese, Iris Apfel, Tilda Swinton, Grace Jones, Edie Sedgwick, Amanda Lepore, and Julia Fox are all examples of self‑made socialites who rose from poverty, instability, complete obscurity or nothing at all than got into elite cultural circles.

What do they have in common? Passions, charming personalities, smarts and, most importantly, the want for better. It would have been so easy for these people to just accept the situations they where born with and decide that that would be their life.

Or maybe it would be harder to accept that since that would mean giving up all your dreams or watering them down...anyway-

Maybe we thing that something superficial like money, follower account, views or the sorts is the only thing that matters and actual social capital and being an actually interesting person outside of social media.

I see why we may think this because when we think of socialites we think of the Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashians and whatever media icon you could be thinking of, but the personalities that last mostly do not appear on social media or not so well known to the general public - they are known in their communities and behind the scenes work.

Most of unknown socialites climbed up the corporate latter and that is how they get exclusive invites (money would be the result of those kind of path), some do it threw friends of friends, either way you have more to stand on when you do it threw friends.

If you are convinced that someone would need money to be able to do anything, than sure I will play with that idea, but it wont get as far as you are thinking.

Think this: Money is what is going to get you in the door, but personality is what people are going to love and want more of. There for, you are going to keep being invited. Makes since? If all you have is money and nothing else than that is all people are going to want from you and when it is gone, they are gone.

Images of clothes I’d like to wear, makeup I want to try, and places I hope to see.

I pinned them gently into a vision board.

I don’t know if it will work—

but I’ll keep returning to it, quietly updating as I grow.

今日、雑誌を切り抜いて、ビジョンボードを作ってみた！✨

とりあえず、自分が着てみたい服、やってみたいメイク、行きたい所を切り抜いてみたよ🩵

果たしてこのビジョンボードの効果はあるだろうか…

定期的にアップデートしよう！

Today’s practice

【Ｊａｊａ＇ｓ　Ｔａｋｅ：　０１】

I’ve been doing these hobbies and spending time with my loved ones for a while, but basing it on Social Psychology made me see their value more clearly. It’s my way of keeping my mind busy and grounded, which is a huge part of my personal reflection. From this, I learned about the importance of support, personal outlets, and environmental influence. I still want to learn more about human connection and managing social pressure, while questioning how to maintain this balance consistently.

These clips simply show the foundation that keeps me moving forward despite any noise.

I realized that with the right peace and the right people, nothing can stop me; hence, the song, like the ceiling can’t hold us.

🪽 Благие знамения, Good Omens

Before reacting: be smarter

en ⬇️

Дом, который течёт

Это очередное послание и фото тебе, которое я никуда не отправлю, а просто положу в коробку.

Барселона. Каса Мила. Дом, который будто течёт. Всё ещё думаю о слове soledad. Что-то не давало мне покоя, пока я не понял: soledad и solid звучат почти одинаково. Одно — одиночество. Другое — цельность. Я стал и тем, и другим. Я больше не ищу поддерживающую руку. Я сам стал ею.

  🔥 𝔢𝔫 🔥

Soledad / Solid

This is another message and a photo for you that I won’t send anywhere — just fold into a box.

What Wasn't Mine to Carry

I grew up angry.

Not understanding why – leaning in and learning how to adjust to everything around me.

Conflict didn’t look like resolution. It looked more like avoidance. What was said seemed to matter less than how I responded to it. Conversations would shift – quietly, continually – until the focus wasn’t the harm, but my reaction.

I learned early that emotions weren’t always welcome. Too much feeling often led to emotional struggle. So I stayed small instead.

What I didn’t know then was that I was navigating the world with something no one had named.

So the things I struggled with weren’t recognised as struggles. They were often seen as flaws.

Being overwhelmed was often seen as “attitude.” Being sensitive was often seen as “overreacting.” Needs were often seen as “too much.”

And when your reality isn’t reflected back to you, it becomes easier to question it – even when something in you knows it’s real.

There’s a particular kind of confusion that comes from that – when your experience is redirected, minimised, or misunderstood.

It’s not just the situation you start to doubt. It’s yourself.

Looking back now, it feels different.

My reactions weren’t the problem. They were signals.

A nervous system trying to cope without the tools or understanding it needed.

Feelings don’t arrive by choice, and they don’t disappear just because they’re inconvenient to someone else.

What I’m learning now isn’t just acceptance. It’s something closer to ownership.

Acceptance says: that happened, and it affected me. Ownership says: I get to decide what belongs to me.

I recognise that I grew up in an environment that didn’t know how to hold and care, still I learned how to hold myself.

I can see that parts of me were overlooked – and still learn how to see myself more clearly now.

This feels like understanding. Like clarity.

Because when the focus stays on your reaction, resolution doesn’t really happen. And without resolution, it’s easy to carry questions that were never yours to hold.

I’m starting to put some of them down.

I was never “too much.” I was responding to too much, without the support.

“I am no longer carrying what isn’t mine.”

And that changes things.

About the Author

Ilana Estelle is an author and writer, and the founder of The CP Diary. Born with something she didn’t know she had, later learning it was cerebral palsy, and then ten years after – also being diagnosed with autism, she has turned personal adversity into a powerful platform for awareness, reflection, and change. Through her writing, Ilana inspires readers to explore resilience, mindfulness, and what it means to live authentically, no matter the challenges.

Looking for inspiration and honest reflection? Visit The CP Diary for daily insights. To explore Ilana’s books and resources, head to her author page and discover how her journey can support your own.