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academicfeminist

Things I never knew about depression until I finally had a doctor explain the disease to me

Depression can manifest as irrational anger.

My complete and total inability to keep anything clean or tidy for any amount of time is a symptom of my depression. I may never be able to do this. It’s important that I remember that and forgive myself when I clean something out (like my car) and it ends up trashed within a week.

Depression IS A DISABILITY. Requiring accommodations is okay.

Medications don’t make you better, they don’t cure your depression. They serve as an aid. Their purpose is to help you get to everyone else’s minimal level of functioning.

Depression can cycle through periods of inactivity. This doesn’t mean it’s gone away.

The reason I don’t feel like other people understand me is because … well … other people DON’T understand me. They can’t. They don’t have my disability.

Paranoia is par for the course.

Depression can and will interfere with your physical mobility. Forgive yourself when you can’t physically do something.

It’s entirely possible that I may never be able to live by myself. I can’t take care of myself. I need help to do it. And that’s okay.

xianimoon

As someone who suffers from depression and who experiences all these things as well I think this is important and needs to be reblogged. Depression is a very difficult thing, not only for people who suffer from it, but for everyone who knows a depressed person. My family doesn’t know how to deal with it, my friends try their very best to support me and I have tried to pretend I was fine until I was in ninth grade.

avalugg

Everything makes so much more sense

helly-watermelonsmellinfellon

Depression is a disease of the brain. The brain is an organ. When organs are not functioning properly, you are advised to see a doctor and get help. So why is it so hard to understand that the brain can suffer as well, and that we need help for it?

The brain controls the body. A sick brain means a sick body.

thedevils-playmate

…. Shit.

yemme

Don’t disregard it as just sadness. Depression is life threatening.

catsnuggler

Exhibit A on why Mind-body dualism is shit that will hurt you - not getting mental help when needed

sleepyowlet

And it’s really important to remember that it’s not your fault you’re sick. It’s society’s fault. We created a system that is actively hostile to human life, and the most vulnerable among us pay the price. Depression is situational more often than not (food insecurity, being materially dependant on unkind people or systems, being part of a marginalised group, not having access to medical care, financial problems, soul-killing jobs, fear of losing your home all contribute). You are not an outlier, a freak, or a weak person. You are a victim of a very deliberate mechanism to keep people desperate and downtrodden enough not to rebel; because someone who can’t find the energy to shower definitely can’t find the energy to organise or be part of a resistance.

But this also means that you gotta realise that doctors can only do so much.

theoldestchorusgirlintheworld

Having no sources of intimacy in your daily life and therefore resorting to learning as much as you can as a way to pass the time is such a sad cycle, every single day its like what can I become obsessively interested in this time to vaguely simulate companionship and a temporary sense of purpose that I know will eventually make me feel even more alone because even if I find meaning and enjoyment it is completely irrelevant to and isolated from everyone and everything else

demigodgooglesearches

“too young to be a 90s kid but close” aesthetic:

-nyan cat, llams with hats

-owls. everybody loves owls–

-minecraft before the jungle biome. minecraft hunger game servers.

-slap bracelets

-long sleves under tank tops…jean skirts with… leggings…. dc shoes… shell shoes…

those 60 seconds multiplication tables. the big blocks with 100 squares, but the strips of ten squares, the single squares? also shape wooden blocks. yellow hexagons, green triangles, blue diamonds, youd make pictures with them.

-morning circle. playing 7 up at school. FOUR CORNERS

-u knew the cookout was lit when they had huggies those juice barrel drinks that u bite the top foil

-sillybands

-nintendogs on your grey ds plus cooking mama

-remembering vaguely having to use a cd player as a kid, then an mp3, than an ipod-

-zebra. print. everything.

-japanese erasers

-duct tape purses

-the justin bieber sounds like a girl debate

-yo danny phantom hE wAS JUST 14

-shark boy and lava girl. sky high. stewart little. minutemen. halloweentown. the thirteenth year (mermaid). smart house. spy kids. twitches. princess protection program (bonus points if you watched it live and counted how many times they said princess). lemonade mouth.

-staying up late enough to see george lopez start to play

- “mom how do you spell cartoonnetwork whats the website”

- that weird fosters home for imaginary friends mmo

- fucking TOONTOWN

- “disney!! three six five!!!!!”

- microsoft paint created MASTERPIECES

- was… was kidpix a thing

-bill nye the science guy and liberty kids

-alvin and the chipmunks covers.

- school store! get me a pencil grip for a quarter.

-crimp your hair bitch… or straighten it. or clip in feathers. or strands of dye-

-bakugan and tech decks

-wheezers ‘beverly hills’ on the playground. we will rock you on the bus.

-camp rock. highschool musical. epic disney crossovers.

-if you didnt have a blog on blogspot.com you weren’t shit (with the extension where you could feed the fish)

-lisa frank folders or those folders with close up of dogs and cat faces

-having to learn the fucking recorder. hot crossed buns… hOt croSssED BUNS,,,,

-did anyone play that weird wizard typing quest

-SMENCILS

-clUb PENGUIN. wizard 101. pirates of the carribean online. webkinz.

-everything is not what it seems when u can get all you wanted in ur wildest dreams

-popular snacks at snack time,,,: gritz, gogurt, fruit roll ups tongue tattoos, zebra cakes, cheese dip crackers, those cookie crackers where u took the red stick and spread it… gushers

-in the wee hours of the night you could hear… hear the chia pets taunting you

-orbeez. monster gummies. hotwheels beat that. fur real friends. pillow pets. littlest pet shop. yugioh. bop it. floam. tamagotchis.

-iDog

-HAVING THE KICKASS SCOOTER THENN KNOCKING UR FUCKING KNEES OFF WITH IT FUCK THAT SHIT

- “HERE I AM IN UR LIFE… HERE U ARE IN MINE… YEAH WE GOT THE SWEET LIFE… MOSTT OF THE TIME”

-underdog. undeRDOG. UNDERDOG!

-when you were playing on the ps2 and u fucking lost the fucking MEMORY CARD

-SPYRO

-playing gta the one where the guy wears the blue shirt (liberty city? ) with the sound off… memorizing cheat codes… square circle square-

-the fucking wii… making miis for literally everyone in ur class and sending the ones you didnt like to the parade

-slap slap slap… clap clap clap… SLAP SLAP SLAP…. CLAP CLAP CLAP (i.e 3… 2… 1… BLAST OFF from here to the stars,)

-when the teacher rolled out the elmo projector and those transparent plastic papers

-megan, MEGAN! (i.e i ran over oprah…..)

-the dell computers took over

-bruh message me on msn… then skype

-making a facebook page. liking all the fucking dumb facebook pages you could

-pokemon

-Z̵͖͂Ô̶̘Ö̴͔́. ̵͉͊Z̷̭̊O̷̻͒Ô̸̟ ̴̛̞Z̸̭̕Ȏ̸̗O̴͎̊ ̴̡͑. P̵̧̈Ȃ̷͖L̴̞̚S̶̰̐

-okay those weird ass beads u always got for Christmas that you had to iron to make shapes

-the fortune tellers… pick a color… blue? okay b-l-u-e. OK now pick a number… ok ur gonna marry lindsay lohan and have 80 kids

-WHAT YHR FUCK ARE THOSE GHOST THEMED CEREALS CALLED??? BOOBERRY??? AH SHIT

-team edward vs team jacob determined your survival

-thE yEar tHree THOusAnD

-black eyed peas

-fucking angry birds and flappy bird murdered everyone

-HEELYS OH DEAR GOD HEELYS I ALMOST FELL AND SLIPPED INTO ANOTHER DIMENSION

-that rabits game… let them go to the moon

-THE PS2 SOUND UP NOISE. THE DOOOOOOOSH

-every dvd had that coming soon bullshit

-stealing ur cousins gameboy

-Sugar. Spice. And everything nice.

-that fucking monkey at some of some fucking tv shows what the fuck was that fucking- hi im paul,,

-asdf videos! (desmond the moon bear.. i like trians)

-if you didnt flip ur shit everytime u saw a yellow car and yell BUMBLEBEE

-when the phone rings in school “THE PHONE… THE PHONE IS RI N G ING”

-“WAZZZZUUPPP!!” “WHAZZAAAAHHP!!”

-kidz bop. wholet the dogs out… who who? who?

-We all want to forget …. annoying orange and fred but god wont let us..

-MY SHINY Teeth and ME.

-that weird ass spongebob half time episode where theyre in the dome… or the spongebob episode with wormy… or the spongebob episode with the hooks (dont touch the hooks) or david hasslehof in the spongebob episode…

-invader zim

-FLAPJACK THAT FUCKING NIGHTMARE SHOW. And chowder. Coraline gave me NIGHTMARES fuck!

- I LIke to move it move it…

-POPTROPICA

-where the sidewalk ends from the school library… with goosebumps and diary of a whimpy kid.. BOOK FAIRS

-leapfrog

-THOSE GYM SCOOTERS. FOUR SQUARE. KICKBALL. THE PARACHUTE THING.

-no one knew how to use a fucking green screen

-🎶 we the peoplee… in order to form a more perfect union…🎶 conjunction junction whats ur function 🎶 puff the magic dragon 🎶

THERES A HUNDRED AND FOUR DAYS OF SUMMER VACATION-

the original teen titans

teach me how to dougie. soldier boy. the hoedown throwdown. the hannah montana movie 3d they were giving 3d glasses away literally in walmart

parentless-suggestions

Your kid shouldn’t be relieved to know you’re not home. Your kid shouldn’t have to double lock all of their stuff up because they’re scared you might go through it. Your kid shouldn’t have to think “Here comes the screaming” or brace themselves for the worse because you’re angry or stressed. Your kid shouldn’t have a genuine fear of you even being close to touching them. Your kid shouldn’t be afraid of you; your kid shouldn’t be afraid of the thought of you.

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wern

having adhd sucks man like i just can’t. DO things…… Can’t Do Shit Disease!!! Disorder Syndrome!!

screaming-coelacanth

ADHD is cool because my inability to choose between two cereals made me almost cry in a grocery store

screaming-coelacanth

alright so this is a pretty simple statement, as in there’s not a lot said, it’s not three words, so I’m gonna try and make my reply as short as possible.

So, I have ADHD, and a part of ADHD is emotional dysregulation. It’s really difficult for me to regulate my emotions/my emotional reactions, in other words.

When I can’t choose between two types of cereals, it stresses me out and, unlike neurotypical people, I am unable to stop that stress from snowballing into anxiety, panic, and a general sense of dread. It’s a weird response, for sure, but it’s my response, and it’s how my ADHD manifests.

It’s not the poster-child of ADHD, it’s not a situation people will point to and say, “That is typical ADHD behavior,” but, y’know, that’s okay. It’s my ADHD behavior, and I define it that way because I know my ADHD and I know how it affects me.

adhd-informative

Indecisiveness is a common problem for people with ADHD. Obviously each ADHDer has their own unique experience of the disorder, but this struggle isn’t unrelated to the disorder and clearly it resonates with a lot of us. And that makes perfect sense. Let’s think about it.

Impulsiveness: You might think this symptom would make it easy to make an instant decision but when you are confronted with a ton of options it actually it can be much more like realizing you want a bunch of different things and now it’s harder to pick just one. Wow that option looks exciting I really like the sound of that… But this is an old favorite of mine and I’ll miss it if I go with something else… And I’ve always wanted to try that thing will I regret it if I don’t?… I want so many things but I must choose only one and now I’m confused

Hyperfixation: ADHD is largely due to an inability to regulate focus. Which means we can also get really focused on something for a prolonged period of time. Such as the pros and cons of several options. The chicken is good but I had chicken for lunch, pasta could be good if they hold the capers, I haven’t had chili in a long time but I don’t know whether it would be really spicy here or not. On and on and on. Well past when others are done we still are thinking through every little thing.

Difficulty Planning: Without time blindness and with the ability to more readily form a long term plan someone who does not have ADHD may feel confident in deciding one thing in relation to others, reasoning that this falls in line with their long-term goals or for smaller day-to-day choices deciding that next week they’ll get the other option. ADHDers often live more in the moment, but we are aware of the future. It’s What do I want most now?… I want to go with what makes me happy, but what about the most practical option? What is the truly best option for me and how do I even tell? Thinking this through doesn’t come as naturally to me.

Low Self-Esteem & Self-Doubt: ADHDers almost universally have issues with their self-image from years of being judged for being different than everybody else. Naturally we begin to doubt ourselves and thus our choices. And many of us cope by trying to pretend we don’t care or by trying way to hard to please someone else, or both. This leads us to trouble choosing too. I’m so worried I’ll make the wrong choice and ruin everything like I always seem to do. I don’t trust myself so how can I make a decision?... What makes the most sense in order to fit in with the culture? I have trouble figuring this out sometimes. Will I look silly if I do what I love?… I want to make everyone else happy, everyone has their own preferences, but deep down I want something totally different. I’ve got to make sure everyone is pleased with me I hate being a disappointment. I’ve got to make the absolute best choices for everyone on everything. I’m stuck because it’s nearly impossible. And what about that thing I like just this once, but no. Or maybe. Well I guess everyone likes this generic thing. Wait no, Dave said he thought it was gross. Ahh! This choice reflects on me and I must make sure it is excellent.

All of that is plenty stressful without having to deal with emotional dysregulation and low stress tolerance. But ADHDers frequently deal with those symptoms as well.

Emotional Dysregulation & Low Stress Tolerance: The pressure of a situation where you know a choice must be made can be a lot. And after a long day, or in a stressful environment like a bright store or crowded restaurant, or in front of people that you like and want to think highly of you, or for a whole host of other reasons you can end up feeling all !!!!

spoonie-living

A little bit of info, validation, and a framework for understanding your ADHD.

black-quadrant

abuse victims are very sensitive to passive aggressive acts of indirect violence. shit like slamming doors and stomping around doesn’t make a statement; it puts us in a state of panic. don’t make noise simply to rattle someone else. if you’re angry step outside and breathe. go for a walk and collect your thoughts otherwise we will not feel safe with you if you insist on expressing your anger through intimidation and force.

zabichat

Your life is your own !

timid

do you ever get that horrible feeling in your stomach because you can’t imagine anyone ever falling in love with you and wanting to spend the rest of their life with you

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benepla-deactivated20200506

Not to turn mental illness into relatable content but is there anything more hilarious then spending an entire day vamping up to do something like spending ALL day thinking about it and putting it off and dreading it and then you finally, FINALLY do it and it takes 6 seconds and you realize that was your whole day plan

sorreleater

honestly some of y’all want a significant other so badly and can’t understand why you can’t find one, but have no sense of boundaries or healthy expectations of what a relationship is like. in a committed long-term partnership you get left on read, you wait for texts back, and you can forget about each other when you’re busy. sometimes you fall asleep without saying goodnight and sometimes you’re too caught up to text each other before 6pm. that’s how it is. thinking that you can’t be deeply, beautifully in love and still wait more than “1.75 hours” for a text back is such an unhealthy and unreasonable expectation of what love is, and you shouldn’t be in a relationship if you can’t allow the other person to exist on their own apart from you. if you’re projecting your anxieties and insecurities onto a partner who doesn’t even exist yet, then you aren’t ready for one.

heartcoded-deactivated20210417

bitches hate when nonbinary genders cant be described in relation to the gender binary like im not a woman im not a man im absolutely nowhere in between im not on the same scale, im not even in the same book i do have a gender no i dont yes i do and it sounds like teenage manic bubblegum pop beneath the train tracks

autasticanna

Me: *obsesses over something for years*

Someone: so what do you like?

Me, who grew up emotionally abused and has an incredibly strong fear of people finding out that I have interests: nothing I have never liked anything in my life

fadingsuggestion

Fuck anyone who says I have to forgive everyone, “for my sake.” I worked hard for this anger. I worked hard to love myself enough to hate them.

vivid-ellipses

Shit, yeah, this is a thing that is hard to articulate. Some people don’t feel healed by forgiving the people who hurt them, because that’s what they kept doing over and over and it only led to getting more hurt. Sometimes you feel healed when you’re finally brave enough to say “This person was horrible to me, and I did not deserve that treatment, and I don’t have to be okay with it.”

pengychan

From Toxic Parents:

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thexfiles

i’m mentally ill too but fucking listen to me here. you need to take responsibility for your actions regardless of whether or not they’re a product of your mental illness. you don’t get to manipulate, gaslight, take advantage of, or straight up abuse people because you’re mentally ill! you don’t! what the fuck! why are some of you still thinking it’s okay to say things like “manipulation is okay because i have _____ and need attention from my significant other”. oh my god. Don’t fucking do that

straightpeoplereceipts

i think that being an LGBT child opens you up to a certain brand of magical thinking. id say most kids would think itd be really cool to join the xmen, but do understand there is some fiction at play that prevents that from happening.

meanwhile my gay ass was like, “i can tell im different and weird in a way none of my friends or classmates are… just like wolverine. im sure professor x will be by to pick me up any day now!” because as a child there was really no other way to quantify that difference or weirdness except maybe i was wolverine

straightpeoplereceipts

if you were convinced you were a werewolf as a child long past the age when that magical thinking was expected of you and NOW youre gay… throw back your head and awoo with me baby!

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