No More Softness, Im The Mustard Girl Now

wawawawawawa. Very nice noises

today i took the worst photo of a loon one can possibly take while remaining identifiably a loon

the mexican football team has a 17 yrs old player and one of the funniest outcomes of this is that he cannot appear in any ad for gambling or drinking so he only appears in candy and milk advertisements. his first world cup and he's not even legally allowed to drive. his nickname is "morita" (little berry). he's three apples tall.

do you ever find something that is so funny and you want to share it with everyone but it also requires 18 layers of context spanning things like. 90s anime. aviation history. europop. canada. in order to even remotely understand why it is so funny

Man I miss free the nipple. Its getting warmer and we don’t even have free the nipple anymore

racism literally bleeds through the cracks of everything and if you dare to even barely point it out everyone will kill you

racism runs so deeply in people that if you call it out you are calling out them, and instead of sitting down and examining their own racism they lash out at you for being sooo meansies to them. you don't even have to be talking about anyone's racist behavior in particular because it makes racists so uncomfortable they will come forward themselves and act like you're targeting them specifically. it's okay when they do it because they're doing it in the correct way, in the nice way! they don't mean it like that. in fact they're actually being progressive. you're the cruel one for acting like their racist behavior is racist. you're the problem if you're bothered by their comfort racism. you're the bitchy colored person who makes eeeverything about racism when it so clearly isn't. i'm fucking sick of this.

i foand my boit suttufuhcut an’ it says oim fouah

Yeah sorry I can't come into work today. I accidentally heard Primadonna by Marina formerly of and the Diamonds. So I need the day to be a primadonna girl. Yeah it's going to be the whole day.

"kung pow penis," a phrase commonly used in reblogs to indicate utter disdain for OP, has twelve letters, each of which (traditionally) must be supplied by a different user. the unanimity of disdain indicated by these twelve unrelated users has strong parallels to the requirement of unanimity for a jury—also traditionally of twelve—to arrive at a verdict. in this essay i will

K

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N

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I

“Thank you for calling the Intergalatic Emergency hotline. Unfortunately, our tracer shows your location is in Florida, Earth, where we have no jurisdiction. Please solve any problem with large rocks and fire. Good luck!”

no post has ever altered my brain chemistry as much as "can only you see the time being?"