SoapBoxStories

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

"what if someone regrets transitioning" if you are 18 or over in free country usa you can walk into any tattoo parlor and ask for a tattoo that will be on your body forever and ever and ever and they will give it to you with the understanding that if you dont like the result or you regret it later that's your fucking problem and not theirs

HELLO ! have you thought about Van Gogh’s First Steps today ?

You can tell a lot about a person by entering their mind palace and encountering their greatest fears and darkest hopes in a labyrinth reflective of their subconscious thoughts.

in your 20s you must rediscover the joys of arts and crafts to stave off spiritual decay

I think it's cute when depictions of our solar system include earth's moon. Like yeah sure the moon's invited. We just like her

Like simplified models that don't have Literally Everything just the planets. And our moon #OurMoon

I would take a job pushing the Sisyphus rock if it paid 20 an hour and I could wear my headphones

People who think sheep are killed for their wool are so hilarious to me. Does your barber slit your throat whenever you get a haircut?? Are you a returning customer to Sweeney Todd? Lmao it grows back, fools.

This is completely ignoring the fact that the sheep's soul is stored in its wool. So sure, the body remains, but the spirit, the essence of the sheep, that's gone forever, and then as the wool regrows a new soul moves in.

What

Same for me, I get a new soul with every haircut. That's why my personality changes so much.

Tumblr citizenship means being completely unsure if the person posting about sheep souls is being 100% serious or is just taking the piss.

THEY TAKE THEIR PISS TOO?!?!?

Yup, stockpiling it in giant buckets to pour on the poor

you know the generations cooked when we’re talking abt sheep wool and that turns into stockpiling sheep piss 🥀

you haven't truly lived until this post is the first thing you see when you wake up i had to leave and come back 10 minutes later

“that fandom is so annoying” i hate to break it to you but every fandom is annoying. all of them. if you’re in a fandom you’re annoying. i’m in several fandoms i’m extra annoying. everyone on this website is annoying.

all i need is a sweet treat. and six thousand dollars