replacement

she smiled– she took a lot of pride in her work. she’d always been someone who dedicated herself to her craft so she improved, and hearing that her work paid off meant a lot. “thank you. i was really happy with how that entire era turned out….. the chorus in scream too, i thought, is some of the best i’ve ever sounded.”

“absolutely,” jinjoo agreed. “now all that has to happen is everyone needs to stop sleeping at you and see just how good you’ve become.”

“oh, god, all of us hate more and more for a lot of reasons, but that’s the big one for me. i thought i could have been so cool, but it hurts instead.”

“i noticed it in better too,” jinjoo admitted sheepishly. “i’m sorry, but it doesn’t suit you at all, and everyone can tell you’re not happy either, so what’s the point?”’

“yeah. i can only hope that they can see you’re happy,” giselle answered. “some attribute it to just good acting, but i can tell. you’re doing just fine.”

“i’m the best i’ve been in a while. much less imposter syndrome, at least. hopefully they’ll see it eventually.”

“your songs suit you a lot better anyway,” misaki answered shyly with a tiny smile. “it’s better when you’re not pretending to be someone you’re not.”

“i think they do too. i try hard, but i don’t have the range haena did. singing my own songs, i feel so much less inadequate.”

“yeah, you’re right, to a certain point. you shouldn’t be relying on it solely, that’s for sure. but sometimes it’s nice to just give yourself a wakeup call, and i love you, but you need one.”

“alright, alright. message received. have a little more faith in myself-- i’ll work on it,” jinjoo promised.

she giggled. “i didn’t take offense, don’t worry,” she laughed. “i do like singing. i’m glad they’re letting me branch out. but i’m proud of myself for becoming a better rapper over the years too.”

“yeah! there’s been huge improvement in your rapping,” jinjoo insisted. “before, it was just a thing that was there, but in black or white specifically, when you started rapping i had to pause the song. you’re a lot more impactful now.”

“it depends on the member,” ripley admitted. “like angie and yeseo have gotten to use their real voices more in recent times. but like….. i don’t think i’ve rapped in my real voice since cheer up. not really, anyway.”

“i think i noticed it the most recently, now that you guys are trying to be more mature. the cute rapping really doesn’t suit it,” jinjoo admitted sheepishly

“it does feel special to get to perform. and now that we’ve had a comeback, it feels like i’m more in the group,” misaki admitted. “i’m not doing somi’s part. i’m doing mine, you know?”

“yeah, i feel you. it’s why i feel so weird whenever we perform old reign songs. like.....i feel like a body double or something. it’s so much easier when im performing my songs,” she agreed.

“i know  you say that but i worry,” gigi insisted. “i kind of get it, though. i remember when i got no lines, fans were so upset, but i didn’t care. i was usually strung out those eras, working on something else, or exhausted from lessons. their worry was nice, but it was misplaced.”

“yeah... i guess i wish more open lines of communication with fans were more of a thing, across the entire industry. so i could let them know that i’m happy, but also...so they’d believe me and not thing higher was making me say it,” she sighed

she sighed. this kid wasn’t the one who kicked her out of reign or anything. the circumstances had been beyond both of their control. she could see how genuine and earnest jinjoo was. haena wished she could hate her, but she couldn’t– especially after spending all this time with her preparing for these stages. 

[ you flatter me. and you’re doing wonderfully. you bring a lot of dimension to the group ]

jinjoo’s eyes widened, and she did her best not to start tearing up. this was one of the most incredible months of her life. and haena... she was recognizing her. “i... thank you. that means so much to hear from you,” she answered softly, bowing slightly. “i could never replace you or do what you did, but i try my best to make sure i keep up with this group. i really want to honor you and yein...”

“i’ve been thinking about that a lot– i wonder if higher has a choreographer already, or if that’s something i can take on myself,” she said, thinking aloud. “i had some ideas.”

“i bet if you ask they’ll let you do it! this is a nice big reunion, after all! i think it’d be all the more special if you did the choreo,” jinjoo said.

“don’t we all? i don’t think any of us truly view ourselves justly, for better or worse. it’s nice to have people to reality check us.”

“yeah, you’re right. i guess i’ve gotten used to just shutting that out because...when you’re an idol, especially on the level of reign.....letting fan opinions, good or bad, shape how you see yourself just seems dangerous,” they admitted.

“That’s true, and I can understand that–a company is going to put more focus on what they know their audience likes,” Ohkyung started. “That said, it’s still a shame. You have impactful lines, most of the time. I just wish Higher would expand on it for once.”

“i don’t even think it’s just an audience preference thing as much as it’s a seniority thing. like...it’s their group, i just came in to help keep it going,” she insisted. she shrugged. “i’ll get my shot. a collaboration with yein just isn’t when.”

“you’re being modest, but i’ll accept the compliment,” yein laughed. “i really can’t wait to be on a song with you. i’m excited.”

“i’m excited too! i wonder what the choreography will look like...” she mused

“no, people say jewel are a basic watered down version of you. and honestly? that’s partly their direction, but partly just the lack of diversity in their voices. i think so, anyway.”

“i’ll take your word for it, then-- clearly i have some sort of bias against myself,” she sighed, laughing slightly

“i honestly feel a little guilty feel excited, but i am,” misaki admitted softly. “like i want to celebrate, but my big moment came at the expense of someone else.”

“somi made her choice, and so did new age. believe me, if anyone understands how you feel, it’s me. but you just have to dive in and embrace it.”

“yeah,” ripley admitted. “i don’t have to fake my voice when i sing, but they make me when i rap. which sucks, because rina unnie’s voice is naturally like that so she sounds good when she raps because its natural, but i sound kind of cringe and forced… which sucks, because…i’m no sookie, but i think i have potential…”

“yeah, that does suck-- what a waste of your potential,” jinjoo agreed sympathetically. “i have noticed that in your guys’ songs, not gonna lie. it didn’t used to be so obvious, either...”