hush.

she took a deep breath as she rested against haena’s shoulder, wiggling her arm around in the hug so she could wipe her eyes before her makeup got ruined, pulling away only slightly so she could look haena in the eye. “i’m so happy you’re here. this means so much to me.”

haena smiled, kissing the younger girl on the forehead and hugging her tight before pulling away and signing her reply

[ i missed you. but don’t get too sentimental-- you were made for much bigger things than reign. i’m sad reign had to end, but you were born to be the center of attention. ]

byul let out a little whine, laughing. “what will i do without my tough girl image that i’ve done such a good job of keeping up for all these years? you’re right,” she retorted sarcastically

[ i think you lost that the moment you released your last album. very sappy stuff on there. not gzb material at all ] she signed, giving byul a wry smile. [ bad bitches don’t release songs about quitting ]

he sighed. he got it, unfortunately. he understood. gently taking her hand and squeezing, he looked her in the eye. “well… i’m no professional, but you know i’m always here to listen, right? i may not have solutions, but i have time to listen.”

she smiled a little, rolling her eyes, and fixing him with a look 

[ i would have thought this encounter would have had you turning and running ]

she paused, before adding

[ you don’t have time, either. i’ve seen you step up your presences lately. you’re a busy man. ]

“well….. i can’t tell you what to do, nor am i in any place to decide how your metal state is for you. but it could be good to go back. sometimes you don’t thank you need something until it’s too late.”

[ you’re probably right. i just have so much dread before i go to a therapist. it’s not healthy but it’s so much easier to just compartmentalize. ]

byul smiled, trying to breathe deeply so she wouldn’t cry and ruin her makeup, holding haena under her arm, and resting her head on the shorter woman’s. “how’d you become a better dancer than me over the years, huh? i’ve been the one working my ass off. how’s that fair,” she joked, trying to lighten the mood. “i love you.”

i was always the better dancer. it’s just natural talent, haena signed with an eyeroll, shaking her head and getting a tissue to dab at her eyes. i love you too. stop crying. you need to be tough or you’ll ruin your image.

“Not extensive enough, apparently - it’s required for the trainees, but I’m not sure how much of a requirement it is for the musicians that get hired on,” Ohkyung said. It didn’t make sense to him that they’d leave Burnout’s musicians out of the lurch if they wanted them to be promoting with the performers, but then again, it’s not his job to be thinking about that. “I do see your point, though – it should definitely be more in-depth.”

she’d been active since leaving reign– very active. but this hit different. the aura was different. and it wasn’t just because she was sharing the stage. she was back with people she’d been performing with since she was fifteen, and while she’d adapted well to solo work, she adored reign. being with them again meant so much. 

yein turned and smile, eyes getting watery too as she wrapped her arms around haena’s shoulders.

haena pushed her bottom lip out in a bit of a pout, wrapping her arms back around yein in turn. she was so proud of this kid. she’d been quite a bit older than yein when they debuted-- seeing that little girl grow into the strong and powerful woman she was today was incredible to watch. yein was truly a sister to haena, and she was so proud of her. and all she’d accomplished. 

“I’m not positive about other companies, but I know that Liberty does have media training, at least. If it’s not something that more companies are investing in, they really should be. Now more than ever, with everything having such a tight lens on it through social media.’

[ how extensive is it? i’m not trying to discredit you or say you’re lying or anything, but i was talking to lia a few weeks back, and she was expressing to me how utterly overwhelmed she was when she goes on variety shows ]

she paused

jinjoo was starstruck. haena was her fucking hero. hands shaking, she bowed her head, cheeks going bright red in the process. “i…thank you, unnie. i really appreciate it,” she blurted out. “the honor is all mine. i have the biggest shoes to fill….”

she sighed. this kid wasn’t the one who kicked her out of reign or anything. the circumstances had been beyond both of their control. she could see how genuine and earnest jinjoo was. haena wished she could hate her, but she couldn’t-- especially after spending all this time with her preparing for these stages. 

[ you flatter me. and you’re doing wonderfully. you bring a lot of dimension to the group ]

honestly, byul had to bite back tears of her own. even though she’d stayed with reign, she often wondered if it was the right choice. she didn’t like the new direction of the group and their marketing, and thought about leaving at least once a promotion cycle. she felt so much more fulfilled with her solo work. and this moment was filling her with so much more conflicted feelings.

clearly she loved being in a group. but she loved being in this group. the new lineup didn’t fill her with the same sense of family, and she was just now realizing that.

“you haven’t skipped a beat,” she finally managed to choke out, looking at haena. “i missed you.”

haena took a deep breath in, sidestepping closer to byul and looping her arm around her friends’. they’d debuted together as little girls, in the grand scheme of things. they’d trained together as children. when her voice had been ripped away from her, so had haena’s family. she’d kept up with yein’s solo career, as well as byulah’s, but there was a reason why she’d never really been able to keep up with new reign. 

i missed you too haena quickly signed into the mirror

“haena, honey, if you’re not already in therapy, it’s something you should probably look into,” he laughed, rolling his eyes right back.

[ i was mostly joking. of course i got a ton of therapy when everything happened... i haven’t gone in a couple years, which is probably a mistake, but i haven’t felt like i needed it ]

she wasn’t sure where the younger girls were-- maybe off doing a special mc spot. but as the original four members of reign began getting ready for their stage in the mirror, haena covered her mouth with her hand and cried. // @yeinrv​ @rvbyulah​ 

it was hard talking to what was essentially her replacement, but it had been inevitable. and she could only imagine how hard it must have been for jinjoo. 

[ you have a beautiful voice. i’m honored to get to do these stages with you ] @rvjess​

“it’s all how you talk to yourself. inner dialogue,” ilyoon replied. “and it’s hard. it takes a long time. but the more you retrain yourself to be kind, the softer and more generous your general outlook is.”

the woman laughed, rolling her eyes

[ maybe i just need to be in therapy ]

“humility is a virtue, haena, but don’t let it go too far. you’re influential and well loved. don’t count yourself out.”

[ i’m not saying i disagree with you. i just think that the scale of which i am influnetial in this current market may not be as large as many think. but thank you. ]

“you are. you absolutely are. but i can’t convince you of that– you have to realize that for yourself.”

[ then i suppose i have a lot of self-work to do in my immediate future then, hmm? ]