I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed

“ oh. ” that gave soojung a pause, she straightened, blinking startled eyes. “ sounds like burnout to me. ” she said a touch softer, empathetic.

“ and you’re not just saying that? ” soojung questions, playfully squinting her eyes as she observes ohkyung’s face. “ okay. that’s nice. did something happen? ”

“i feel like that might’ve been inevitable. honestly, i’m surprised none of my groupmates have never had to dramatically chop their hair. some of the colors the stylists give them can’t be good for the hair follicles,” she commented. “you were smart and were spared,” she laughed. “i think about the looks in reign’s first three or so years every day and die a little.”

“true. and also….i mean, i don’t want to be rude and infer your age or anything, but edgier concepts in 2nd and 3rd gen kpop were definitely the wave, i feel like. maybe you were just trying to fit in with what you thought they wanted?”

“i mean, we know what happens. look what happened to seola. what’s still happening to seola,” jangbyul pointed out bluntly. seola was her friend, and she’d choreographed for the singer before, but anyone with eyes could tell that that girl wasn’t okay, and hadn’t been for a long time.

“ooh, that makes me want to be in a spy drama next…” eunji answered, going off topic. “imagine– me as the femme fatale…..”

“you know, i kind of liked that. promoting is good. i get really anxious beforehand, but during, we go so hard that i don’t have time to think,” he admitted. “less of an opportunity to get myself worked up i guess.”

“That... makes sense. It’s slightly alarming to hear it put that way, if I’m being completely honest, but it makes sense nonetheless,” Ohkyung responded. “As long as you’re staying healthy, that’s all that matters.”

“layering is very trendy, ohkyung. what’s a little heat stroke when you have a dance practice to record~” she laughed

“of course, but wouldn’t that have been right when traxx really started their training?” ahreum pointed out. “i still think that you would have fit right in. maybe even been a style leader within the trainee ranks of your new group.”

“it’s fine– i can hire people to get their hands on that for me, of course,” eunji retorted with a laugh

“you were young. i think most young people go through a phase. yours just happened to be a bad boy phase. nothing to be ashamed about. if anything it seems to give you a good laugh.” she said turning away with a smile. there were definitely things she regretted doing. looking back she could see how stupid it was. but when your young you don’t know or just don’t care. she turned back around with a questioning look. “but what’s so appealing about being a bad boy?”

Nothing appealing about it, really. At least, not that I can see anymore,” Ohkyung admitted. It had been a long time, so the reasoning was far removed from how he thought now. “I saw a lot of the bands I liked when I was growing up that dressed like that and I thought it was cool, and I wanted to project that, I guess? I wasn’t cool--I’m still not cool.”

[ how extensive is it? i’m not trying to discredit you or say you’re lying or anything, but i was talking to lia a few weeks back, and she was expressing to me how utterly overwhelmed she was when she goes on variety shows ]

she paused

[ that’s beside the point, i guess. or maybe it is the point. maybe the point is that some companies say they have media training, but only teach the basics, and don’t prepare their idols for the realities of the job ahead of them ]

he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “i mean…..that makes sense. half the time i’m not sure i’m going to last. my anxiety gets really bad– i’m surprised i haven’t had to go on hiatus yet.”

“I can imagine, especially with how Rewind’s schedules were late last year.  You all are young, sure, but a month of rest between promotions still seems to be cutting it close.”