my neurodivergent deep thoughts and ideas

fear is the only thing holding me back

fear of messing up

both on a social and a technical level

I know failure is often required to learn

when you're a kid or a teenager, your memory only stretches back so far. maybe 5–10 years. almost everything you know still exists in the present, so it feels like the world is just… the world.

but then you reach your twenties and suddenly you realize you can remember 15 or even 20 years back. and some of the things that were completely normal in your childhood just quietly disappeared.

tv shows that don't exist anymore. games nobody plays anymore. songs that younger people call "old". things everyone used to reference that new teenagers have never even heard of.

and it hits you: your childhood isn't just "recent" anymore. it's becoming a historical layer.