Rum tastes the best with cigaretes

Hey Folks!

I'm a little, boring, stupid man from Poland who really likes writing and reading some smut or gay stuff about weird ships.

Right now, my favorite ship is

Alfie Solomons x Thomas Shelby.

To be honest, I have only watched the first season of Peaky Blinders, but I immediately fell in love with this ship.

Because of that, I decided to write some stuff about them.

I want to present my work here, and I hope you like it.

<I think in my next post I will add the first chapter>

P.S. For now, my fanfic isn't perfectly canon, so don't be surprised.

Ciao 😗✌️

The thing is, it's not that simple for me because of my neophobia and hyperfixation problems. I know that starting this series will be equivalent to living this series.

It's so messed up...

Like, I stopped watching or getting interested in new things because I can't approach them healthily. I get so immersed in the action that it cuts me off and then affects my relationships.

I once talked to my therapist about trying to write down all my feelings after each episode and so on...

I don't know, maybe that will really help somehow.

I'm trying to regain some normalcy in "enjoying pop culture," but it's so damn hard for me.

Chapter 3 kind of defeated me because every time I try to finish it, I feel like it’s just weak.

I think I’ll try to write it from scratch and then I’ll add it.

I hope everything is good with you

It sounds like the ramblings of an old man, but honestly, I've never seen so many weird behaviors and disconnected, twisted people as I do now.

I never felt the need to carry something for self-defense, I always managed on my own.

But now?

I feel like buying four pepper sprays and putting them in every jacket and hoodie I own.

I don't want to write generalizations like "the world is bad, people are bad, boohoo."

But I'm sorry.Good people suffer because of it, and I don't like that fact.

I'm not good, but I won't let myself be hurt either. And above all, I won't let others be hurt.

I grew up in a small neighborhood that even God forgot about, and now I see that what is happening here can really threaten someone. The worst part is that it's not just about the people involved in all this crap but also about bystanders.

Strange crusades of hate are spreading here again.

And I told myself a long time ago that I would be the one to prove that you can't always step on the weak.

Violence can't be fought with violence, But it can be deterred by it.

I hate this fact, But that's how life looks now.

.....

Sorry for posting so many off-topic things here lately, but I feel really good here and sharing different thoughts is truly liberating.

But don't worry, I won't abandon the main topic... It's even possible that the third chapter will come tomorrow.

I deleted Instagram about 2 years ago.

Snapchat a year ago.

And Facebook I keep installing and uninstalling because sometimes I need it for work.

It seems like Tumblr and Pinterest are beautiful places where the algorithm really works, and the content I see isn't random triggering crap.

Thank you for your attention

And if anyone is intrested im kinda feel better but still tired and broken inside.

Idk tomorow will be better.

As always

But damn, this loss hurts so much...

Today, I unconsciously wanted to go feed Andrzej,

But he's not here anymore.

Why the hell can it never be normal?

And honestly, I'm slightly worried that in Chapter 3 of "Bromance," I touch on the theme that every good streak ends with something shitty.

Are you telling me that Tom Hardy played Charles Bronson??

How the hell did I never notice this?

TW: LOSS OF A PET, SADNESS, VENTING, GENERAL CONFUSION AND MINOR CRISIS

---

If my life couldn't get any more messed up, today I lost my therapy pet...

I can't get over it.

I live in Poland, and we've had a long-standing problem with wild boars here.

They often came onto my property and caused damage, but today they attacked my pigeon.

Yes, my therapy pet was a pigeon named Andrzej.

I had him for a month.

I loved him like a brother and a best friend.

He really helped me with my depression and bipolar disorder.

He calmed my nerves and taught me to care for another life.

But now he's gone, and I feel terrible.

I feel like lying down and never getting up.

I'm starting to hate everything around me again.

So, I rewrote the whole thing and I feel like I'm even satisfied with it now.

I don't know when I'll publish it, but definitely soon

.Also, on AO3, my 2 chapters already have almost 100 views, and it makes me feel warm inside 🥳

It's like my girlfriend rarely gives me compliments, and this wasn't exactly a compliment either, but I was standing there with a cigarette, and she approached me from behind and said, "Alright, Mr. Cillian Murphy, enough of that smoking."

I felt good inside.

(With a little help, but still)

Here's my account on AO3

I've never published anything there before, so I'm just learning...

Feel free to check it out and give me some advice.

Thanks!