Brain Wyrms

[ID. A paper painting of a white bear laying inside a cave as it looks to outside, surrounded by grass. The bear looks slightly tired and unhappy. The caption reads: "Sorry I can't seize the day. Maybe tomorrow..."]

“be gay do crime! but sex is yucky and crime is wrong!” ass website

I'm not calling it Dragonite because it's not from Bad Dragon. It's from @alchemistechidna. I think we should call it Johnson Agate.

Everyone can have a little existential crisis every now and then, as a treat

I dropped a slow cooker in the bathtub. The doctor says I have 8 hours to live

introducing someone new to the polycule by trapping them in the bathroom and letting your other partners smell them through the door

get in loser we’re gonna try again despite it all

In your 20s, you'll feel like you're losing the race. It's important to understand that there is no race.

the m in mathematics stands for milf and the s stands for sex. in this vein you would expect the e to stand for edging. but no. Euler.

i think im starting to lose my Internet Brainrot because everything annoys me so much now that i dont even want to scroll anymore 🙄 like no matter what site everything either ai or bait or someone complaining abt something stupid and im not reading all that. ill be outside in the hammock

knowing when not to open the comments is a skill

blocking tip: you don't have to wait to have a negative interaction with someone to block them. you can block them without ever interacting with them. I can't tell you how many times I've seen someone being rude to someone else and preemptively blocked them

"why'd they block me? we've never talked" bro if i see you being nasty to the bartender i'm not gonna chat you up

evangelicals being like "god made men to do This and be like This and women to do That and be like That that's just how it is" and it's just a picture of a white man and woman following traditional gender norms makes me so insane like you boring fascist fucks. god made 2 million species of beetles. god made whales, ducks, humans, and 1500 other species capable of same sex behavior. god made fish and amphibians that change sexes. god made more than 30 different intersex variations in human beings. god, in his infinite curiosity. wake up!!! fuck!!

"god wants women to have perfect no-makeup makeup looks and stay at home not talking back and upholding capitalism" god??? that guy who made lizards that shoot blood out of their eyes?? that guy who made salmon do whatever the fuck that is?? are you fucking crazy???