We Are Not Our Losses

pop-star singing sensation by night

-little Nas harnessed the power of recent hate from Montreo and decided to give the gays another win on his birthday

-Taylor Swift's new album gave him a heart attack. Insert destiel/Putin joke

-was not as Pro-Life as we have been lead to believe

-an unnamed British vigilante killed him yesterday to celebrate the anniversary of Margret Thatcher's death, but the royal family refused to acknowledge it for a day out of British pettiness

-god was formally apologizing to Megan

-Henry commissioned John Mulaney

-princess diana FINALLY bullied God into killing him

-a particularly strong breeze came by and scattered him to the wind

-the queen wanted an excuse to wear black for once

-tried to clone himself to prove himself as the alpha Palpatine kin

-got cocky and tried to listen to one of those 'songs that would kill prince Philip on sight' playlists

-sneezed a little too hard. Or at all.

finally finally FINALLY deemed Too Racist/Sexist/Homophobic To Live, amen

-batteries died

-a bold rouge reporter lied about him being dead, and the Royals took the opportunity to kill him off for real

-one of the other royal parasites took his last sliver of life force for themself

You mean to tell me that Nick fucking killed himself in order to be with Sabrina? What the fuck? What kind of message is that sending, especially to people already struggling with their mental health? That if your significant other dies/leaves you and you feel like you can’t go on… just don’t? Don’t even try? That your life is meaningless if you don’t have a romantic relationship? That you shouldn’t even try to move on?

customer walks up

me: sue?

customer opens the box, frowns, and sticks her finger in the pizza: i didn’t order pepperoni

me, with a voice devoid of any emotion: ……. sue?

customer: oh! no i’m (name)!

the actual sue, materializing at my elbow: is that a pizza for sue?

me: would you like some free breadsticks to eat while we remake you pizza? another customer touched it

‘another customer’ sheepishly mumbles sorry

male customer standing right in front of me turns to look

me: jennifer? iced vanilla latte?

customer says nothing, takes the drink, shoves straw in, takes a long sip

customer: i wanted this hot. i ordered a small hot decaf skinny vanilla latte.

me: are you jennifer?

Non-psychotic people might never think about this, consider it, or acknowledge this, but hallucinations can happen at the most inconvenient times. Some of them expect you to somehow be able to control them; like when your psychosis acts up when you’re out with them or something along that like they look at you like, “what the hell?” 

NEWSFLASH!!! We can’t control this! Hallucinations happen, hallucinations are annoying, hallucinations are SCARY! I’ve hallucinated at work, during family time, out in public, group gatherings, etc. I sometimes have to stop myself from screaming. And others might have similar experiences. 

PLEASE don’t tell me they’re real. don’t tell me about your spiritual beliefs while i’m talking about them.

don’t tell me the shadow people are demons or aliens or from another dimension.

don’t tell me the world might actually be fake, or send me real life matrix conspiracy theories right after i’ve told you they’re a trigger.

it may be funny to you, when i have to sit against a wall so i know nothing’s behind me, or when i wear long sleeves to ignore the bugs under my skin, but it’s horrible for me.

it’s hard enough to convince myself that they’re not real, i don’t need someone else telling me i’m just seeing into another dimension or some shit and ending up back in a psych hospital.