This isn't new

However, he replied to said email within five minutes, asking a question that required an answer. So I answered and was like "Also, I was going to apologize for answering emails during this call, but I see we're both here at the Devil's Sacrament, so I don't think an apology is necessary."

I watched him read that on screen and try not to laugh. And then at the end of the call as everyone started saying goodbye, he goes, "Hey, MJ, I meant to tell you. I like your shoelaces."

And I looked straight into my camera, stone cold serious, and said, "Thanks. I stole them from the president."

And the rest of the team was like, "What...the fuck...?" before he abruptly ended the call for everyone.

There was a shimmer - a demon appeared.

"Curious. What ritual is this?"

"I got it from ChatGPT. I included all protections in my prompt!"

obviously this is like a single possibly questionable source and on wikipedia of all places but just for a sense of rough scale i would like to offer this statistic.

that is not a coincidence and that is not because autistic people "Cannot Contribute To Society" or whatever. it is an expression of structural violence which exists in service of the biopolitical regime of imperial capital and specifically to the benefit of allistic people.

and i know we Talk about autism nowadays as this kind of quirky trait, and the implication is that this is a form of Difference that Society Has Come To Accept. but that's just not true. autistic people continue to be the subjects of immense violence. if anything, it's just that the violence has gotten subtler, more insidious, in how it identifies its victims. "the vibes were off." "idk she was just kind of odd." "she was really awkward and kind of uncomfy." "not very professional." "abrasive and grating." the knife has just found a better way of hiding under the folds of the robes.

autistic people continue to be some of the most vulnerable people in society but especially under the system of imperial capital, where human autonomy is directly linked to potential labor output under a very particular paradigm. and when combined with the fact that the average autistic person is undoubtedly profoundly traumatized by how they are treated for being autistic, this confers a significantly higher rate of "mental illness" among autistic people which further forces us onto the outskirts of society where we are more and more vulnerable to exploitation and violence.

and like, obviously this should not have to be true to justify the cessation of violence against autistic people. but we literally keep the world afloat. do you know how many industries would shut down immediately, just completely collapse, without the specific labor of the specific skillsets of autistic people? and in particular, how much physical infrastructure would simply cease functioning? every workplace that is held up by "strangely, mysteriously" and incredibly disciplined and rigorous documentation, every computer infrastructural project upheld by One Guy's lifelong commitment to doing this critical project completely thanklessly, every workplace which is carried by That One Woman who seems to understand how everything works even though nobody else does. How many of those people are simply autistic people who have to hide this fact because we are targeted for violence for being this way? And if those are the success stories, the ones who managed to slip under the radar because they weren't Visibly Autistic Enough to get caught, how many more of us could be rotting in living circumstances where we are essentially kept prisoner by "caretakers"?

[source]

do you feel like, around certain people, you are an entirely different kind of person? with some people, you are outgoing, excitable, loud, outspoken, confident? with others, you are quiet, reserved, shy, anxious? obviously these do not mean these are necessarily two different people, right?

well, I mean. what the fuck is "a person." or rather what the fuck is "a consciousness" is maybe a better question.

plenty of systems have the whole "i have amnesia and my parts are profoundly distinct and cannot communicate with each other internally" etc etc etc but 1) this is like. a specific expression of a broader phenomenon and 2) this is not the only way to be plural.

a better example than the above is maybe "when I'm at work, I am Literally A Different Person than when I am at home with my wife."

this is something that I think most people would not balk at saying, even if it's nominally in jest or hyperbolic. but like, what makes that not literally true?

if we accept that a Part or an Alter or a Headmate or a Distinct Psyche or whatever you want to call it Does Not Need to be profoundly distinct in the way the "DSM-5" articulates it as, i.e. you can have parts that do not have amnesia and who share some level of awareness, memories, etc, can communicate internally, etc. what determines the boundaries of a Part? In our experience, the most constrained definition of "what a part is" could be defined as "a distinct psychic mode of existence which can be temporarily occupied, and is sometimes occupied based on contextual triggers."

your "inner child" is a part! your "worksona" is a part! when you have a bad day and you hear a voice in your mindspace that tries to encourage you to get up and take care of yourself, that can be a part!

likewise, the voice in your head that denigrates and derides you can be a part. and, if you give yourselves permission, you can try to talk to them.

imo. the biggest "hack" for "determining if you are plural" (fake, everyone is plural) is giving yourselves just. permission to even "pretend" to be distinct. you may shock yourself. you may surprise yourself. you may think into your mindspace "hello, is anybody there?" and you may be surprised to find that sometimes. someone might answer back "yes."

the way we first realized we were plural was literally that we were in a car talking with a friend who is a system and they said to us, "well, if you were separate parts, what would you say?" and then an entirely different emotional state clicked into place and a cheerful and excited voice piped up out of our body and said "WELL, if I ever got to distinguish myself as separate, I would..." before stopping and realizing what she had said.

the thing is that plurality is psychic. it is "psychological." it is, by definition, "all in your head." because every part of your personhood(s) is "in your head." you can play pretend. you can do imagination games. what makes that "less real" than other thoughts in your mindscape? if you pretend hard enough that you are different kinds of people in your mind, you might just literally be different people in your mind. why not? what makes on "personality" or "psyche" or "fragment" real, and another "pretend?" it's all pretend. none of it is pretend. your personhood is made up in your mind. you are already playing pretend! you are playing pretend that you are a person! having thoughts and beliefs and emotions and opinions is make-believe! it is made up of the same essential psychic Stuff as playing pretend.

you may be pleasantly surprised to find out how joyful the different parts of your heart and your life might feel to be granted the respect and autonomy to distinguish themselves as distinct and unique and each worthy of personhood, choice, and expression.

DING DING DING WINNER OF UNDERSTANDING WHAT I'M SAYING AWARD GOES TO THESE TAGS (/GEN)

Someone whose clothes and stuff are predominantly purple is something else, that's a Distinct Kind Of Personality who enjoys having a distinct colour scheme and goes out of their way to get it. Purple is too unusual of a colour to just accumulate unintentionally. A person whose belongings are mainly purple enjoys knowing that the people who know them probably first think "oh, That Person would probably like that" whenever they see something purple.

Telling our story is a way to rationalize how we came to be this way for us, as well as sharing first hand experiences that will be valuable to new systems, as plurality is wildly underresearched and misunderstood.

Plurality is a scary thing, at first.

We always knew we had C-PTSD, that was more than obvious. OSDD, however, went blissfully undetected for quite a long time.

For us, it was early summer, and it all came about like a chip in the wall during a stressful time. What do you do when you see paint chipping? You touch it, obviously. Well, we certainly did that. Because of that poking around ("where we shouldn't" in the minds of some system members) we had our first switch in a long time.

It left us with a frightened, triggered text conversation we couldn't remember, and the vague impression of a vibrant teal car and a tall house. A night I couldn't remember almost at all. Our host at the time (a fusion of this host and our caretaker is what made me, our current host) had an inkling of what was going on, but brushed it off vigorously and tried not to touch it with a 20 foot pole for as long as possible.

As with most approaches involving the whole "ignoring and repressing" thing, it went rather poorly. We'd lost some very important people in our life recently, and we broke down one night in early September a little more than a year ago... and suddenly, there they were.

The chip in the wall became a crack, and that crack let in water before anyone could patch it.

I heard a voice.

It's a little poetic sounding, but it's not really not as glamorous as it might seem. I was snotty nosed and quite literally crying for my mother, with year long gaps in my memory suddenly reclaimed. Quite the headache there, and I was beyond afraid. As scary as it was to hear this voice, they were convincing, and very comforting. They shed light on what we were, and how we were. We'd known, but to have it confirmed in such a real and vivid way? That was new.

A few days later, I drew the innerworld for the first time. A shoddy sketch, but a step in acceptance.