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@rozomat

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kind of hate my stupid caustic pussy for dissolving my underwear over time but it's kind of cool, like, scientifically
dying at this sequence from @pinkydragon01 :

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using "what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament" to mean "yeah i made an embarrassing reference but you understood it which is also embarrassing" is very funny to me
my favorite part is that absolutely nobody says this except here. so if you use it in public, it's a dead giveaway that you spent the last ten years on tumblr. but then again, they recognized it, which means they were at the devil's sacrament
I tested this theory in the wild the other day at work. I was on a call with my department lead and a few other folks and I replied to an email the DL had sent me, thinking that, because he was on this call, he wouldn't notice when I sent it and would not catch me multitasking.
However, he replied to said email within five minutes, asking a question that required an answer. So I answered and was like "Also, I was going to apologize for answering emails during this call, but I see we're both here at the Devil's Sacrament, so I don't think an apology is necessary."
I watched him read that on screen and try not to laugh. And then at the end of the call as everyone started saying goodbye, he goes, "Hey, MJ, I meant to tell you. I like your shoelaces."
And I looked straight into my camera, stone cold serious, and said, "Thanks. I stole them from the president."
And the rest of the team was like, "What...the fuck...?" before he abruptly ended the call for everyone.
So now my DL and I know this about each other. He could be any one of us.
The sigil was drawn in salt and ash, the candles lit at the pentagram points, the incantation declaimed.
There was a shimmer - a demon appeared.
"Curious. What ritual is this?"
"I got it from ChatGPT. I included all protections in my prompt!"
"I see," the demon said and stepped out of the sigil.
r/Murderbot mods really said "if you can't use it/its for a fictional character, get over yourself".
Still love this.
we should adopt this strategy with more things! "We understand some politicians may feel uncomfortable using some of the correct pronouns for their trans constituents. For the sake of coherent discussions, we encourage politicians to process their discomfort and participate in politics only once they're able to use the correct pronouns."
I actually do feel like the "unemployed friend on a Tuesday" meme actually helps de-stigmatize unemployment because it frequently affirms that when you don't have a job you're more likely to be getting up to some weird shit rather than just lazing around. But I also feel like the unemployed friend is frequently up to some random shit because there's a whole pile of miscellaneous life tasks that full-time employment keeps people from. The unemployed friend is helping their cousin move, or babysitting, or checking in with a neighbor with mobility issues. The unemployed friend is a walking thesis on the inflexibility of our current labor landscape and just how much work exists outside of work.
maybe its because im an asylum seeker but i am of the opinion that even if immigrants and asylum seekers contributed nothing to a nation that nation should not have the right to deport them.
"oh now no-one will do these jobs," well i think its bad that we take advantage of immigrants and asylum seekers' desperation to force them into exploitative jobs that the ordinary citizen is entirely unwilling to put up with.

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idk i dont mean this with as much derision as might bleed out but it is exceedingly clear that some of you were never considered retard-faggots as a child and therefore never subject to the subsequent torments Pure Children would subject Retard-Faggot Children to.
[* the use of these slurs is not reclamatory but is also not pejorative. the use of these slurs is academic, technical, and descriptive.]
like i was a social outcast since the moment i could speak. like this was my entire life and it literally never changed. i continue to be a social outcast for the same exact reasons + several more (physically disabled now etc) and like. idk i feel like it is relevant and on some level, valuable, to my analysis that i understand this experience. like i used to be physically beaten by other children regularly for the crime of being Incorrectly Built. Transgressively Autistic and Fruity. like forreal actually Fruity in a way where people would call you slurs in elementary school. like no offense to people who experienced the profound violence of the deep closet but like. my closet wasn't even made of glass it was like I was pretending i was in the closet as a mime but every single person in the world could Smell the faggot coming off me a mile away and would very succinctly inform me of this through violence. and the physical violence wasn't even the worst part.
idk where im going with this. i guess it's just "I respect many of you but it is clear that you and i had very different experiences of Retard-Faggotry as a child." and further it is clear that this website continues to participate in veiled attempts at reenacting the childhood game of "smear the queer / retard"
i say "this website" which is silly. of course it's not just "this website" it's like society writ large. i guess just as a product of my particular form of perpetual social-outcast-ness i continue to primarily interface with actual interactions with strangers through social media. since for the most part i am physically disabled and psychologically "fucked" enough that i spend most of my time indoors atp.
also on that note like. i know that this is the Quirky Gay Website and so we understandably focus on stuff about being gay/trans/etc but like. i say this As a Gay Trans. i do not think people sufficiently understand or contend with the extent to which autistic people are constantly and consistently subject to immense violence both interpersonal and structural. like frankly I've experienced far more of both by merit of being autistic than for being a transgender woman or. even for being racialized. like i've nearly gotten fired from jobs for doing them autistically. if you apply for housing autistically you're likely to get rejected. if you do something autistically at the doctor's you're likely to get disregarded and infantilized and dismissed. and these are just like the somewhat trivial, normative, veiled ways autistic people Who Can Mostly "Pass" As Allistic are subject to violence.
obviously this is like a single possibly questionable source and on wikipedia of all places but just for a sense of rough scale i would like to offer this statistic.
that is not a coincidence and that is not because autistic people "Cannot Contribute To Society" or whatever. it is an expression of structural violence which exists in service of the biopolitical regime of imperial capital and specifically to the benefit of allistic people.
and i know we Talk about autism nowadays as this kind of quirky trait, and the implication is that this is a form of Difference that Society Has Come To Accept. but that's just not true. autistic people continue to be the subjects of immense violence. if anything, it's just that the violence has gotten subtler, more insidious, in how it identifies its victims. "the vibes were off." "idk she was just kind of odd." "she was really awkward and kind of uncomfy." "not very professional." "abrasive and grating." the knife has just found a better way of hiding under the folds of the robes.
autistic people continue to be some of the most vulnerable people in society but especially under the system of imperial capital, where human autonomy is directly linked to potential labor output under a very particular paradigm. and when combined with the fact that the average autistic person is undoubtedly profoundly traumatized by how they are treated for being autistic, this confers a significantly higher rate of "mental illness" among autistic people which further forces us onto the outskirts of society where we are more and more vulnerable to exploitation and violence.
and like, obviously this should not have to be true to justify the cessation of violence against autistic people. but we literally keep the world afloat. do you know how many industries would shut down immediately, just completely collapse, without the specific labor of the specific skillsets of autistic people? and in particular, how much physical infrastructure would simply cease functioning? every workplace that is held up by "strangely, mysteriously" and incredibly disciplined and rigorous documentation, every computer infrastructural project upheld by One Guy's lifelong commitment to doing this critical project completely thanklessly, every workplace which is carried by That One Woman who seems to understand how everything works even though nobody else does. How many of those people are simply autistic people who have to hide this fact because we are targeted for violence for being this way? And if those are the success stories, the ones who managed to slip under the radar because they weren't Visibly Autistic Enough to get caught, how many more of us could be rotting in living circumstances where we are essentially kept prisoner by "caretakers"?
[source]
idk. i care very deeply about this. and it bothers me how frequently it seems other people do not.
im kind of expecting this post to not get a lot of traction and im trying to determine if that'll be primarily because allistic people will be made profoundly uncomfortable by it or because autistic people are going to be understandably afraid of sharing it. i don't mean this as like a reblog bait comment i just genuinely think that this is like a borderline mechanistic phenomenon atp.
the supplicants of the DSM-5 cult are going to murder me for my opinions about plurality
"pretending to be plural" is frequently an artifact / symptom / consequence of being plural. no singlets allowed! get plural now!!!!!!
like. ok. i know i've talked about this before but i genuinely think that the boundary between "plurality" and "singlethood" is so fucking fuzzy and ambiguous because i do not think a boundary exists. like. ok what do people know about "internal parts therapy" or whatever. god. nevermind ignore that i said that. listen to me.
do you feel like, around certain people, you are an entirely different kind of person? with some people, you are outgoing, excitable, loud, outspoken, confident? with others, you are quiet, reserved, shy, anxious? obviously these do not mean these are necessarily two different people, right?
well, I mean. what the fuck is "a person." or rather what the fuck is "a consciousness" is maybe a better question.
plenty of systems have the whole "i have amnesia and my parts are profoundly distinct and cannot communicate with each other internally" etc etc etc but 1) this is like. a specific expression of a broader phenomenon and 2) this is not the only way to be plural.
a better example than the above is maybe "when I'm at work, I am Literally A Different Person than when I am at home with my wife."
this is something that I think most people would not balk at saying, even if it's nominally in jest or hyperbolic. but like, what makes that not literally true?
if we accept that a Part or an Alter or a Headmate or a Distinct Psyche or whatever you want to call it Does Not Need to be profoundly distinct in the way the "DSM-5" articulates it as, i.e. you can have parts that do not have amnesia and who share some level of awareness, memories, etc, can communicate internally, etc. what determines the boundaries of a Part? In our experience, the most constrained definition of "what a part is" could be defined as "a distinct psychic mode of existence which can be temporarily occupied, and is sometimes occupied based on contextual triggers."
your "inner child" is a part! your "worksona" is a part! when you have a bad day and you hear a voice in your mindspace that tries to encourage you to get up and take care of yourself, that can be a part!
likewise, the voice in your head that denigrates and derides you can be a part. and, if you give yourselves permission, you can try to talk to them.
imo. the biggest "hack" for "determining if you are plural" (fake, everyone is plural) is giving yourselves just. permission to even "pretend" to be distinct. you may shock yourself. you may surprise yourself. you may think into your mindspace "hello, is anybody there?" and you may be surprised to find that sometimes. someone might answer back "yes."
the way we first realized we were plural was literally that we were in a car talking with a friend who is a system and they said to us, "well, if you were separate parts, what would you say?" and then an entirely different emotional state clicked into place and a cheerful and excited voice piped up out of our body and said "WELL, if I ever got to distinguish myself as separate, I would..." before stopping and realizing what she had said.
the thing is that plurality is psychic. it is "psychological." it is, by definition, "all in your head." because every part of your personhood(s) is "in your head." you can play pretend. you can do imagination games. what makes that "less real" than other thoughts in your mindscape? if you pretend hard enough that you are different kinds of people in your mind, you might just literally be different people in your mind. why not? what makes on "personality" or "psyche" or "fragment" real, and another "pretend?" it's all pretend. none of it is pretend. your personhood is made up in your mind. you are already playing pretend! you are playing pretend that you are a person! having thoughts and beliefs and emotions and opinions is make-believe! it is made up of the same essential psychic Stuff as playing pretend.
you may be pleasantly surprised to find out how joyful the different parts of your heart and your life might feel to be granted the respect and autonomy to distinguish themselves as distinct and unique and each worthy of personhood, choice, and expression.
once again: no singlets allowed! get plural now!
#good and helpful reminders#were all simply weird animals who make up rules for things#there are no rules let the 12 year old you in your head stretch their/your legs and stop pretending to be one cohesive animal all the time
DING DING DING WINNER OF UNDERSTANDING WHAT I'M SAYING AWARD GOES TO THESE TAGS (/GEN)
there are no rules. it's literally all make-believe. go ham. the child who lives in your heart must be let loose at all costs. I'm letting this fucker drive! [universally understood symbol for "the two year old alter"]
It's fun when you can tell things about people by what colours they like to surround themselves with. Someone who likes wearing and decorating all their stuff with green is usually a calm, chill, down to earth kind of a person. They don't usually even notice how much of all their things are green, they just see a green thing and think "oh, pretty" and don't even put together just how much of their stuff ends up unintentionally being green.
Someone whose clothes and stuff are predominantly purple is something else, that's a Distinct Kind Of Personality who enjoys having a distinct colour scheme and goes out of their way to get it. Purple is too unusual of a colour to just accumulate unintentionally. A person whose belongings are mainly purple enjoys knowing that the people who know them probably first think "oh, That Person would probably like that" whenever they see something purple.
But someone who specifically enjoys the combination of purple and green? Yeah that's a harder than average herb wizard.
You don't deserve a little treat because you earned it. You deserve a little treat because it's your fundamental right as a human being.

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when i was driving back to LA last week we stopped at a rest area and i had to pee but i was unkempt and dressed in sweatpants and a tshirt so out of nervousness i chose to just duck into the mens room bc i assumed i didnt pass and didnt want to encounter any trouble from people. anyway i piss and wash my hands and turn around to leave and an older gentleman walks in, looks at me, double takes, looks for the sign and goes "oh my god sorry maam am i in the wrong bathroom?" and i just kinda played it off like i just walked in to wash my hands and wasnt paying attention and accidentally went into the "wrong" restroom.
anyway moral of the story is you probably do pass better than you think
The Beginning
Telling our story is a way to rationalize how we came to be this way for us, as well as sharing first hand experiences that will be valuable to new systems, as plurality is wildly underresearched and misunderstood.
Plurality is a scary thing, at first.
We always knew we had C-PTSD, that was more than obvious. OSDD, however, went blissfully undetected for quite a long time.
For us, it was early summer, and it all came about like a chip in the wall during a stressful time. What do you do when you see paint chipping? You touch it, obviously. Well, we certainly did that. Because of that poking around ("where we shouldn't" in the minds of some system members) we had our first switch in a long time.
It left us with a frightened, triggered text conversation we couldn't remember, and the vague impression of a vibrant teal car and a tall house. A night I couldn't remember almost at all. Our host at the time (a fusion of this host and our caretaker is what made me, our current host) had an inkling of what was going on, but brushed it off vigorously and tried not to touch it with a 20 foot pole for as long as possible.
As with most approaches involving the whole "ignoring and repressing" thing, it went rather poorly. We'd lost some very important people in our life recently, and we broke down one night in early September a little more than a year ago... and suddenly, there they were.
The chip in the wall became a crack, and that crack let in water before anyone could patch it.
I heard a voice.
It's a little poetic sounding, but it's not really not as glamorous as it might seem. I was snotty nosed and quite literally crying for my mother, with year long gaps in my memory suddenly reclaimed. Quite the headache there, and I was beyond afraid. As scary as it was to hear this voice, they were convincing, and very comforting. They shed light on what we were, and how we were. We'd known, but to have it confirmed in such a real and vivid way? That was new.
A few days later, I drew the innerworld for the first time. A shoddy sketch, but a step in acceptance.