Don't Mind Me, I'm Only Dying

me: *almost gets hit by a car* aw man better luck next time

After careful consideration and going over multiple options I think the best choice is stay warm and cozy in bed forever.

every 5 minutes i go wow i NEED to kill myself and then i ignore it because i have things to do

Mario Kart and the loser has to give head

they should invent a way of opening up that doesn't feel like baring your neck to the wolves

[image reads: “geology rocks, but geography is where it’s at”]

just need a drink. or a cigarette. or perhaps even a sledgehammer to the back of the head

actually pigs shouldn't be at pride even outside of uniform. fuck those guys

if you decide to become a police officer then that outweighs any other marginalised identity you can rustle up like. not sorry, who asked you to willingly become a pig

"whats your 5 year plan?" buddy I nearly go insane thinking about what I should have for dinner

I’d love to relax but it’s just not realistic

Thank you for coming to my this