I still think itβs hilarious that the reason nobody ever figures out Supermanβs secret identity or where he lives or what he does when heβs not saving the planet, is because he already told them all the Kryptonian stuff that canβt be tied to any of his human friends or family. I guarantee you the in-universe wikipedia article on Superman lists his name as Kal-El and theΒ βpersonal lifeβ section says that he lives full-time at his private fortress of solitude at the north pole. Nobody in the world looks at Clark Kent and thinksΒ βoh my god, maybe heβs superman!β for the same reason nobody ever starts to suspect that their coworker who looks KINDA like Barack Obama is actually secretly Barack Obama β They know who Barack Obama is and know what he does and they know their coworker Greg is Greg and not Barack Obama. They have no reason to assume Barack Obama secretly moonlights as Greg The IT Guy at their workplace even though theyβve never seen Greg and Obama in the same place. At best,Β βGreg is secretly Obamaβ would be a running joke at the office, and the same is true at the Daily Planet.Β βKal-El of Krypton, who lives in a CRYSTAL PALACE at the NORTH POLE and whose dayjob is SUPERMAN, sometimes puts on a suit and pretends to be a clumsy reporter and lives in a one-bedroom walkup in Metropolisβ is a ridiculous concept to anyone who doesnβt already know itβs true
@unpretty
βHey, thatβ that guy, in the corner, is thatβ is that Superman?βΒ
Clark looks up from his computer at the new intern.Β βOh, no,β he says.Β βYou caught me.β
βClark, you pull this shit every time, man,β his desk neighbor Steve says.Β βShut the fuck up.β
βNo, the kidβs right, Iβm Superman,β Clark says. He gets out of his seat and cracks his back out.Β βI guess weβre gonna have a superhero fight.β
βClark, sit back down.β
βNope. Superhero fight.β
βClark if you donβt sit the hellΒ back down and finish your article by lunch I am going to tell Perry on you.β
Clark points at the intern.Β βYou get off easy this time, buddy,β he says, and sits back down.Β
βSoβ¦β the intern says, very lost.Β βUhβ¦β
βThatβs Clark,β a slightly older and more experienced intern says.Β βHeβs Supermanβs asshole twin.β
The funniest part is when Clark does this in front of Jimmy Olsen, who is just staring in disbeliefΒ as Clark talks about using his superpowers to help Ma Kent on the farm in a sarcastic tone of voice, when Jimmy knows for a fact itβs 100% true, that is what Clark did last weekend.
Intern:Β βAhahahah Superman in Kansas tilling the fields at superspeed, thatβs a good one. What, if the tractor breaks down, do you just pick it up and take it back to the barn?β
Clark:Β βNah, between my ex-ray vision and my heat vision I can generally find whatever the problem is and do a spotweld if necessary so long as I know where to get the parts - once had to nip over to South Korea because I didnβt want to wait 6 weeks for the ship to get there.β
Intern:Β βBahahaha classic, Clark you are so funny! Superman fixing tractors with his heat vision, oh thatβs a good one.β
Jimmy: ββ¦β
