welcome to the dennis interlude, everyone! BUCKLE UP!

this week's beautiful moodboard is from @brusied_bouquet on tiktok!

(basically if robby thought dennis told langdon about his moment in pedes... but make it agere dennis and cg robby)

someone saw you in pedes. langdon's fucking voice rattled through robby's head as he stormed his way back into the ed. he ignored dana and jack, his eyes trained on the lonely boy in the middle of triage.

whitaker. robby called, his voice dropping and growing firm as he grabbed dennis by the elbow, practically dragging him back out to the isolated loading dock.

once alone, dennis gently pulled himself free, his eyes wide with growing panic and concern, dr. robby? is everything—dennis was suddenly cut off when robby grabbed him by the shoulders, giving him a rough shake.

robby's voice grew loud—louder than dennis had ever heard. even if dennis had technically knew robby for about fifteen hours.

but it didn't make the overwhelming sense of fear any easier. the sudden change in volume made dennis' shoulders tense while his head felt as if it were being dunked underwater... oh god, not now. please, not now. dennis begged himself, his eyes slowly filling with unshed tears.

robby didn't seem to notice the change in dennis, only focused on shaking the younger man as the words spilled from his lips, i trusted you, whitaker. i trusted you and you tell fucking langdon?! i know you're only a student, but i expected more from you! this job isn't some fucking game show—this is people's lives and trust! and you've broken both. robby scolded and cursed, shaking dennis every few words.

b-but, robby, i d-didn't say anything, dennis managed to choke out, desperate to make robby understand before it was too late, i di-didn't say anything—i w-would never. p-please, you have to b-believe me! he sniffled, a few tears managing to escape his eyes.

dennis' words did little to ease robby. he's been lied to the entire night—the past few months because of langdon. robby didn't know what to believe anymore; but he wasn't going to allow himself to be swayed by the younger man's tears.

shut up. just shut up, whitaker. you're done. go home and we'll talk about your transfer tomorrow. robby huffed, gently pushing dennis back—the same way from pedes.

but when dennis stumbled back, his foot slipped and sent the poor man to the ground. landing on his arm, dennis instantly whimpered, quickly cradling his arm against his chest. he didn't dare move, squeezing his eyes shut as small sniffles filled the heavy silence.

shaking his head, dennis didn't stand a chance against his regression—he had been fighting the entire day, especially after the shooting.

without much warning, dennis felt light and unable to understand why his arm hurt or why robby was standing over him with a now confused gaze.

'm sworry, 'obby. 'm sworry, dennis blurted, his shoulders trembling with new cries and tears, n-not supposed to t-talk ab-about 'ou—d-didn't t-tell be-because m-made promise. he explained, remembering how he made an internal pinky promise after that moment in pedes.

remaining on the ground, dennis openly cried and whimpered. he tried to wipe his tears with a rough hand, curling in on himself whenever robby moved towards him.

d-don' wanna b-be sent 'way, 'obby. p'ease, d-don' send m-me 'way. dennis pleaded, unable to meet robby's eyes without wanting to burst into a new wave of tears.

dennis felt overwhelmed. he hated feeling overwhelmed when small. it brought unwanted memories of his pa in broken bow—how dennis was forced to sleep in the barn whenever he cried for too long. big boys don't cry over splinters, boy. and they sure as hell don't cry when putting down horses. his pa would often spit, shoving his youngest into the barn for the night.

or the same overwhelming feeling from past caregivers. the onslaught of punishments for the minor things. how isolated and hurt they often left dennis before deciding he was too much of an effort.

and now robby wanted to get rid of him. it tore dennis to shreds.

robby stared down at the frightened boy, his chest tightening when he heard how slurred dennis' speech had become. how he kept stumbling over the same words. how he looked more like a frightened boy than a man.

oh... oh. robby thought to himself, his own eyes widening at the sight of dennis on the ground, crying different apologizes and wet promises.

slowly, robby knelt down until he was beside dennis, keeping his hands visible and folded against his lap, dennis? robby gently called, using the same firmness he often used whenever a lonely little stumbled into the ed.

d-didn' t-tell l-lang'on—i p-pwomis'. dennis choked out, rubbing his eyes before he was suddenly lifted and secured on robby's lap. dennis felt that his big headspace would know what to do... but he was so small—so vulnerable and fragile. dennis couldn't do anything other than melt into robby's chest with new tears.

keeping dennis against his soft chest and tummy, robby placed a grounding hand on the nape of dennis' neck, oh denny, i'm so sorry. i'm sorry for yelling—little boys don't like yelling and i know how scary that must've been. i'm so sorry, little one. robby cooed, brushing his thumb under dennis' wet eyes.

s-scary, 'obby. d-don' like scary, 'obby. dennis sniffled and whimpered, reaching up to rub his nose when robby gently grabbed his wrist, no, no. no more wiping your nose—it's gonna be raw and all achy. you don't want that, hm? robby cooed, looking down at dennis' bloodshot eyes and tear-stained cheeks.

shaking his head, dennis stared up at robby before hiding his face away once more, hi, little one, robby softly smiled, holding the back of dennis' head, i think it'd be best if you went home, ok? no, no, it's ok, denny-boy. i'm gonna call your caregiver and they'll come pick you up, ok?

b-but don' ha-have no one—l-live on, um, this floor. dennis babbled, holding up eight fingers with a proud grin. but his grin faltered when he saw how upset robby looked. not "mad" upset but sad.

before dennis could speak, robby shook his head, caressing dennis' cheek, ok, little one. how about this, would you like to come with me? we can leave right now, maybe pick up... robby trailed off, giving dennis a chance to voice what he wanted.

um, pi'za? dennis tried, his eyes brightening when robby nodded, good choice, denny. pizza it is, we'll go to my place and get this tummy filled. robby softly smiled, giving dennis’ tummy a gentle rub.

but when he tried to stand, dennis let out a small whine. robby instantly stilled, knowing what the little wanted, ok, ok, little one. no moving just yet. he whispered, chuckling when dennis tried to squirm underneath his scrubs, pressing his pale hands against robby's chest and plush tummy.

robby could already tell dennis wanted skin-to-skin. the younger seemed to be deep in his headspace, making robby bundled dennis closer until no space was between them.

oh, dennis. oh my special boy—it's ok. you'll get what you want when we're home. gonna get you everything you could ever want... just wanna keep you safe. robby cooed, listening as dennis' breathing slowed and his body gently slumped against his own.

"etymologynerd" is at it again and this time i do feel i have to say something. the disability advocates have it covered on addressing the impact, but there's also a serious problem with the linguistics.

in a video shared on may 16, adam aleksic begins by saying: "i think we have to accept the fact that the 'r-word' [retard/retarded] is permanently coming back and it's functionally changed meanings to no longer directly refer to disabled people."

this first sentence alone betrays a fundamental misunderstanding of language change in several points.

this word never went away. what we're seeing now is an attempt at re-normalization by people who sense that they will not be socially punished by openly using this term.

we actually don't have to "accept" its return to mainstream use. for decades, disability advocates have worked to inform the public of the harm caused by casual use of this term. the harm has not disappeared, and neither will this advocacy and its impacts.

now i'm just mad. how tf does it NOT refer to disabled people? the entire point of a pejorative term is that it negatively invokes comparison to a person, group, etc. the assertion that the r-word has changed meanings is categorically false. at most, its primary context has changed from clinical to casually pejorative, but the insult fundamentally rests upon the original reference.

he goes on to refer to the "euphemism treadmill," another concept he misrepresents by extending the metaphor to say that terms which have been sufficiently distanced from their original reference are no longer pejorative. to quote: "...once we sufficiently distance a word from its historical usage, it stops taking on the same offensive power and just becomes colloquial instead."

which... what? what the fuck is he talking about? the words he uses as examples – idiot, imbecile, and moron – are definitely still offensive, if perhaps less impactful. "just becomes colloquial instead" is a nonsense phrase. are offensive words not colloquial? the only english word that comes to mind as having changed so much in definition as to no longer be offensive is "nice," which has been shifting in meaning for more than 700 years and was never a weaponized clinical term.

he ends by saying, "it is undeniably true that the people who are afraid to say the r-word right now are going to get old and die out, while younger generations keep saying it with no knowledge of where it came from." again, fundamentally misunderstanding language change in society over time. it rests on the assumption that we're all going to start or re-start using this slur and never have a conversation about its harms, which just completely ignores both the abovementioned disability advocacy and the fact that people tell each other not to use offensive words. you think i'm just not gonna teach my kids that using slurs is bad??

the whole video is devoid of both empathy and an understanding of long-term semantic change.

There are a ton of quick and cheap electrolyte drink recipes that you can find online. Tea, coffee, cocount water, milk, milk substitutes, juice, etc are all hydrating despite extremely persistent myths. Many fruits and veggies like cucumbers, watermelon, strawberries, bell peppers, etc have high water content and are a great way to hydrate while also getting vital nutrients. Popsicles are also a good way to stay cool and hydrated and you can buy them or make your own with whatever ingredients you want; there are recipes online, including ones for electrolyte popsicles, but you can also just do basic ones with your choice of fruit juice and whatever you want to add, like chunks of fresh or frozen fruit.

but dennis never got rid of it. he simply rolled the blanket under his mattress and retrieved it whenever it was time for bed.

it all changed when he first began to date robby. the first time dennis spent the night, he waited until he was sure robby was asleep that he finally made his move.

digging through his backpack, dennis grabbed the worn fabric and quickly found his place in robby's bed once more.

but when dennis began to lull off, his eyes opened when a warm hand cupped his cheek, "you comfy now?" robby questioned, his voice heavy with sleep.

"yeah," dennis whispered in response, nuzzling his nose against the soft fabric, "very." he softly yawned, not seeing robby's eyes open and soften at the sight of his baby and his baby blanket.

So first, let's clear a common misconception: no, President Abraham Lincoln did not love Black people nor see them as human equals. At best he was centrist about it (though, even his implication that 'exceptional' Black men ought to vote got him assassinated).

"My paramount object in this struggle is to save the Union, and is not either to save or to destroy slavery. If I could save the Union without freeing any slave I would do, it, and if I could save it by freeing all the slaves I would do it; and if I could save it by freeing some and leaving others alone I would also do that. What I do about slavery, and the colored race, I do because I believe it helps to save the Union...I have here stated my purpose according to my view of official duty; and I intend no modification of my oft-expressed personal wish that all men everywhere could be free."

The "freeing of slaves" after the Emancipation Proclamation in 1863 was meant to kneecap the economic and military powers of the seceded South. Lettuce stop making a white savior figure out of Lincoln, or thinking that my people's shackles were unchained via anything other than desperate war strategy and extreme violence. Think on that, for a moment.

That being said!

But not everyone in Confederate territory would immediately be free. Even though the Emancipation Proclamation was made effective in 1863, it could not be implemented in places still under Confederate control. As a result, in the westernmost Confederate state of Texas, enslaved people would not be free until much later. Freedom finally came on June 19, 1865, when some 2,000 Union troops arrived in Galveston Bay, Texas. The army announced that the more than 250,000 enslaved black people in the state, were free by executive decree. This day came to be known as "Juneteenth," by the newly freed people in Texas.

Please have a moment of silence for the people who were killed instead of freed when news of emancipation finally reached the furthest corners of the american south.

have another moment for the ledgers, catalogs, and records that were burned and the homes that were destroyed to hide the presence of very much alive and still enslaved people on dozens of plantations and homesteads across the south for decades after emancipation.

and have a third moment for those who were hunted and killed while fleeing the south to find safety across the border, overseas, in the north and to the west.

black people. light a candle, write a note to those who have passed telling them what you have achieved in spite of the racist and intolerant conditions of this world, feel the warmth of the flame under your hand, say a prayer of rememberance if you are religious, place the note under the candle, and then blow it out.

if you have children, sit them down and tell them anything you know about the life of oldest black person you've ever met. it doesn't have to be your own family. tell them what you know about what life was like for us in the days, years, decades after emancipation. if you don't know much, look it up and learn about it together.

This is Juneteenth.