World’s #1 Cop Hater

Today my client was like “btw when I was mad at you a couple weeks ago I sent a letter to the attorney general about how much you suck” and my immediate response was “why would you do that? The attorney general isn’t my boss. Here’s the contact info for the three people you ACTUALLY need to contact to get me in trouble. 🙄”

Being a defense attorney is about having a favorite Lowes near the prison you visit a lot so you have a clean place to poop

When we buy a house and I get to have a craft room and I get into quilting then you’ll see. You’ll all see

I also need to get over my struggle with the fact that my mom is SO different now than when I was growing up because like yeah of course she is. She has holes in her brain from multiple sclerosis. That’ll change you

My therapist did diagnose my mom as autistic the other day and it was like oooooooooooh. Yeah I guess she is a weirdo with absolutely 0 understanding of social cues and lives her life by a strict set of completely inscrutable unspoken rules and gets really upset when other people don’t follow the rules she made up and never told anyone about

All I’m saying is I have read hundreds of police reports that started with “this driver slammed on their brakes when they noticed us and began driving very cautiously, which was suspicious” and I have read maybe 2 police reports that started with “this person was going 75 in a 65”