roadkill on the information superhighway

ms word ms excel and ms powerpoint are all snooty disagreeable ladies who wont speak to me due to my meager dowry but then i meet their beautiful sister ms paint whos clumsy but charming and we fall in beautiful love. and i become mr paint

so im having a piss in the bathroom (where its supposed to go…) and these vaping godless wenches think the sound of my tinkle warrants a giggle. does anyone know how to get me in contact with some powerful etsy witches for a cheap and swift vengeance

Don’t make your younger self into your own dead wife.

Don’t make your older self into a husband you resent. Idk

and, look, I’m not complaining, not at all, but this is why it’s very important to be abundantly clear and specific with your Etsy witch.

"all you ever do is complain" that's not true. I also resent.

(Out of deodorant voice) maybe we should all be more accepting of the smells our bodies naturally produce

my ability to be both a sweetie pie and a sick pervert will lead me to great things