neato

my beautiful wife, severe thunderstorm warning, is texting me 😌😚😍😍

please accept my sincerest oopsie daises

everyone hates the vectorstock image i just found

Standing outside the club w no ID dressed as benoit blanc and asking women if they could help me solve the mystery of where my hug is at

used to think you were my bud but i got weiser

*grasping at straws* My straws!

How do I upload a photo

dont do this it makes chlorine gas

if the heavens ever did squeak, she's the last true mouse piece

Hand please i am so hungry hand please feed me i will not bite again i promise please

Woah mama I'm a shrimp

I truly believe we don't have much time left

wha if instead of jimmy falon his name was jimmy talon and he was a great and terrible bird