how is she tho?

“I’m gay” “I’m straight” ok?? i am the very model of a modern major general?? i’ve information vegetable, animal, and mineral?? i know the kings of england, and i quote the fights historical?? from marathon to waterloo in order categorical??

thr funniest part of therapy to me is when you first come in and you're exchanging niceties and they say "hello! how are you" and you say "im fine how are you :)" and then 30 seconds later they put on their therapist voice and say "so how are you doing?" and you go well lisa. believe it or not im doing Bad

earthquakes are like the one natural disaster that isn’t being directly exacerbated by global warming. that shit is here for the love of the game and the love of the game only.

“Get his ass” Is so unreasonably funny to me. A huge win for the English language. Today’s version of “seize him” imo

derry girls be like i can excuse hatred for the english but i draw the line at homophobia

The lion does not concern itself with the bank account balance when a little treat is calling

The lion will never financially recover from this

Sam Reich is such a cartoonish character to me. His last name is literally "Rich". He's this villain-y game show host. He's the son of the ex-secretary of labour who saved a comedy media company from extinction and does magic tricks as a hobby in his free time. What kinda muppet factory did they release him from

i need season 2 of overcompensating ASAP

i love hearing about the declining birth rate like yesss that is a major problem considering our dominant economic model. a problem i plan on contributing to 👍 joining the war on declining birth rates on the side of declining birth rates

I hope when I say "please advise" in an email they know I sent it screaming in utter terror and confusion

if you want me to consume a new media you MUST catch me at the exact moment when the stars are aligned and the air pressure is equal to the current degree of the sun’s peak against the horizon and all the cosmic energies are perfectly unified (aka my old interest is fading out) or i will nod and say “im adding that to my list!” Knowing theres no chance i will check it out

“unless its a book!” “unless you tell me it has gay people in it!” “this but only for live action shows” “theres a good chance i’ll get to it eventually” no wrong this post is not for you this post is ONLY for bitches who could have a treasured friend recommend them something that sounds grown in a lab to be your personal catnip and, with no choice in the matter, immediately know it will never be the right time to watch/read/listen to it

major in bullshitting with a minor in talking out of my ass

official dnd post