still sitting in a corner i haunt

louis staying with the man who orchestrated the murder of his daughter for over 70 years just to spite his ex-husband and lestat deciding to let louis find out on his own about his new husband trying to kill him, breaking his own heart and torturing himself in the process too, just so he could say ‘see I was right’ 70 years later,, this is the toxic obsessive failmarriage representation we deserve

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.

Male loneliness this, male loneliness that. Have they tried lobotomies? Tranquilizers? Being fingered by medical professionals? Tearing the yellow wallpaper off the walls of the attic room where your husband keeps you locked up?

iwtv is great because sam reid was like “ever since I was a little boy I dreamed of being lestat” and eric bogosian was like “the most erotic experience of my life was watching a dracula play and I want someone to bite my neck” and assad zaman was like “i think I should get to have a threesome with both daniels” and no one stopped them and jacob anderson didn't say any of that but he did deliver a performance too good for the emmys

We should invite Batman villains to the Met Gala. What could go wrong?

I’m trusting the Riddler to keep the peace, by the way, because if any of the other villains try to pull a crime and ruin his chance to show off his self-designed outfit for the Notes on Camp theme, they will not live to see another morning.

I still argue if it’s a Crane iteration that has class motivations (ie the times he’s referred to Scarecrow as a symbol of poverty), he might go for it by dropping the fear toxin on such an ostentatious display of wealth. 

“Jonathan, first of all: this is a charity event; second of all, I spent all last month intricately stitching this suit inspired by Andy Warhol’s tinfoil wallpaper, time which could have been devoted to composing riddles, and if you get in between me and the paparazzi, you will have a mortal enemy for the rest of your very short life.”

Tim getting questioned by his school for having bruises (canon) + Tim wearing makeup to cover his bruises (canon) + tim being very popular in the schools he went to (canon) = Tim accidentally starting a boys wearing makeup too trend at his school during peak 90’s/early 00’s (not canon but plausible and will piss off Chuck Dixon so it’s real to me 🙂‍↕️)

doing things at the right age is literally a made up concept. you can start/pursue anything at any age. btw.

"In the same way that your heart feels and your mind thinks, you, mortal beings, are the instrument by which the universe cares. If you choose to care, then the universe cares. If you don't, then it doesn't." -- Brennan Lee Mulligan, D20, Fantasy High

Reblog if it’s ok for people to give you $599.99