Lugubrious

Actually my favorite replacement for both 'kill myself' jokes and jokes about reacting violently to things/people that upset me is "I'm going to end up on the news" like it's versatile, it's vague, it's not going to get me in trouble with any censors or websites that take joke threats seriously, it's family friendly while still getting the point across, what's not to love???

This song always makes me think about how my ex called me asking me what the name of the song was one night while drunk because it was “the saddest song he’s ever heard” … weak

man im done being mentally ill like i just wanna wake up one day with a brain that isnt trying to kill me

atmospheric pressure annoys the hell out of me

sometimes the sky is HEAVY and sometimes the sky is LESS HEAVY, you wake up every godforsaken day not knowing HOW HEAVY THE SKY WILL BE because that dumb blue bitch is a fluctuating MERCURIAL HARLOT and I am SICK OF IT

the notes are a 3-way-handshake between people with pressure-related joint pain, people with pressure-related migraines, and autistic folks with pressure-related Everything Feels Like Shit Today For No Apparent Reason. you're all valid fuck the sky

this is an appropriate and measured response. have a great day

Jane Austen really said ‘I respect the “I can fix him” movement but that’s just not me. He’ll fix himself if knows what’s good for him’ and that’s why her works are still calling the shots today.

Meanwhile Emily Brönte just said “We can make each other worse.” 

Mary Shelley said, "I can make him

if i’ve ever embarrassed myself in front of you i was kidding. it was ironic and performative

My mantra is "you will cause problems if you dont remember how stupid you are" I will always say something wrong and be something wrong if I speak I need to remember I am stupid and ugly and wrong so then I won't cause problems

today’s date is the 3rd? what’s next, the 4th? the 5th? the minor fall, the major lift? 

mutuals can be my penpal when tumblr goes down

don’t pretend the Great Tag Ban isn’t funny. don’t pretend that content being automatically removed from the site for using arbitrary terms like “girl” or “tony the tiger” isn’t hilarious

we said “we’ll stay here until staff removes all of the content and the site becomes completely unusable” & staff said ok the tigerfuckers go first