| He/She Futch Werewolf | Adult | CURRENT OBSESSION: Stranger Things | My brain uses the same processing power as a shed. Give me a moment and I'm sure you'll find what you're looking for | My AO3 |
I wrote (and published, against all odds) a fic where Steve and Eddie encounter gay bikers. Yes, I do feel like Pee-Wee in this one clip.
This is kind of the vibe. Lord knows, if Eddie Munson had access to a motorcycle, he would try so hard to show off, only to drive clean through a sign.
Snippet under the cut!
Steve’s been working a summer job, and Eddie’s just along for the ride…
…Is what Steve would say, because between them, it is clear who is winning employee of the month at their shitty retail job—Robin, but Steve’s a close second. Scraping it at the bottom is Eddie, who only commits to doing just fine so he can keep a single toe in the door of employment and still get one of Steve’s legendary sandwiches every lunch break. Apparently granola bars and other snacks ready-wrapped in plastic aren’t enough to sustain oneself through a day’s shift. Be it plain anxiety or the extra cholesterol giving him chest pains just by watching, Steve couldn’t stand by and let Eddie feed himself like that.
The sun is starting to hang and cast orange light over open fields of maturing crops. It’s only the boys today, enjoying their ‘Clock-out Take-out’ on a desolate roadside at the edge of Hawkins when a fleet of engines comes a-roarin'.
On the few weekends he’s not pushing scratch-offs to gambling addicts on company orders, Eddie likes to frequent the leather bars. He’s been slowly crawling his way down the list subheaded ‘INDIANA’ in his Gayellow Pages. Once, he even backpedalled through the alphabet and landed in Chicago on a sort of kinky pilgrimage he took last year—“To find myself” was his vague excuse to Wayne, who was furious when Eddie came home looking well and truly fucked by the weekend prior and suffering a mighty comedown.
So, when he recognises the patches whizzing by, belonging to a variety of queer denominations, embroidery fraying as the wind rips around countless leather jackets, he drops his sub sandwich and makes some undignified noise around a bite of cheese and ham. Steve’s shoulder gets an over-excited backhand before Eddie is wolf-whistling at decibels that nearly knock Steve off the hood of the Beamer.
Some of them beep back and carry on, but the road they're coming from resembles those 19th-century drawings of the bison herds that dominated the Plains before the whites got to them—they are the horizon. Soon enough, after Eddie whistles a couple more verses of eardrum torture, one guy splinters off the road and sets off a domino effect as a few more wearing the same insignia roll to a stop right in front of Eddie, Steve and the Beamer.
Decorating their jackets is a medieval-style coat of arms. The face of the shield is white, with stark black crenellation falling over the top edge, and the proud silhouette of a black knight chess piece below the club’s name in old manuscript font.
The Chicago Knights. Eddie’s had one before. Call him Arthur the way he successfully pulled that sword outta the stone (it was a strict top he got off with, and managed to flip midway. Eddie’s ego has yet to balance out).
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established steddie + werewolf eddie and he assumes steve has just Figured It Out at some point (maybe he saw the claw marks in eddie's room, or the chains in his closet, or noticed the way eddie is never free on full moons) because steve scents him all. the. time. there's no way a normal human would ever spend this much time shoving his face into eddie's neck if he didn't know about werewolves
(spoiler: steve has no idea. he just likes the way eddie smells. he assumed those scratches and chains were from some crazy kinky sex and he's still waiting for eddie to get comfortable enough to ask him for that)
Have decided that Hard Launch Steve announces his and Eddie’s relationship to the town at large by posting a pic on Instagram of Max in a hellfire shirt flipping him off and captioning it “9 months in my womb just to look like my stupid boyfriend”
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pratchett will write an entire book about the grim reaper pretending to be santa claus while the grim reaper’s granddaughter goes about hunting down the dumbass who decided to kill santa, and then right when you think you’re done and the oddly pointed shenanigans are winding down he hits you with “humans need fantasy to be human. to be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape,” and knocks you into next wednesday
“Why does the third of the three brothers, who shares his food with the old woman in the wood, go on to become king of the country? Why does James Bond manage to disarm the nuclear bomb a few seconds before it goes off rather than, as it were, a few seconds afterwards? Because a universe where that did not happen would be a dark and hostile place. Let there be goblin hordes, let there be terrible environmental threats, let there be giant mutated slugs if you really must, but let there also be hope. It may be a grim, thin hope, an Arthurian sword at sunset, but let us know that we do not live in vain.”
After 13 years of this, it's still funny to me that detailing a full mental breakdown on tumblr is standard fare, but posting a nice selfie is a fraught decision.
Eddie hates dentists.. He’s got a cavity he’s been ignoring for months because the last time someone stuck tools in his mouth was years ago and Steve finds out and goes full mom mode telling him. “I’ll drive you and I’ll sit in the waiting room then after I’ll buy you ice cream after if you go.”
Eddie scoffs, kicks his feet up on Steve’s coffee table. “Dude, I’m not five. I don’t need a bribe.” But then three days later he shows up at Steve’s door at 8am with his arms crossed. “Well? You better get me ice cream, Harrington I want Rocky Road with Two scoops. I’m not getting drilled for nothing.” Steve just grins and grabs his keys. “Knew you’d come around, Munson.”
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There is a song called Zombie Handjob by Ninja Sex Party, sung by their character Count Whackula, that I recommend everyone listen to. I do believe Eddie is the kinda guy who would write fun songs specially for Halloween, and who organises Corroded Coffin to play big Halloween gigs each year. Eddie would absolutely come out on stage dressed up as his alter ego, Count Whackula, to sing Zombie Handjob.
If CC wrote Zombie Handjob, the merch would go fucking crazy. I can picture so perfectly a coffin, corroded (naturally) enough for a hand to stick through, and maybe the tombstone behind it details the zombie's rates, e.g.
"Hungry for Brain!"
"1 Brain = five minutes"
"2 Brains = ten minutes"
"3 Brains = VIP access to rotten mouth hole" The zombie punches another hole in the coffin above his mouth when you offer him 3 brains.
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