Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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YOU ARE THE REASON

izzy's playlists!

let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

Discoholic 🪩
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
we're not kids anymore.
Game of Thrones Daily
Stranger Things

PR's Tumblrdome
almost home

Kiana Khansmith
Sweet Seals For You, Always
$LAYYYTER
Monterey Bay Aquarium

⁂
hello vonnie
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

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@retrojaded

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what are your fantasies?
Freeing myself
Every Morning, Mary Oliver
Kerry Egan, On Living
do you think it'll all be okay?
yeah. even if it won’t i’ve got people to love in the meantime

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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it's i have let more time go by summer
🌼 musings on august 🌼
“It’s literally impossible to be a woman.
You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow, we're always doing it wrong?
You have to be thin, but not too thin, and you can never say you wanna be thin. You have to say you wanna be healthy, but also, you have to BE THIN.
You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass.
You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean.
You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas.
You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time.
You have to be a career woman, but also, always be looking out for other people.
You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is INSANE, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining!
You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood, but ALWAYS STAND OUT and ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL. But never forget that the system is rigged, so find a way to acknowledge that but ALSO, always be grateful!
You have to never get old. Never be rude. Never show off. Never be selfish. Never fall down. Never fail. Never show fear. Never get OUT OF LINE. It's too hard! It's too contradictory, and nobody gives you a medal or says 'thank you!' And it turns out, in fact, that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also, everything is your fault.
I'm just so tired of watching myself, and every single other woman tie herself into knots, so that people will like us.
And if all of that, is also true for a doll just representing a woman, then I don't even know." -Gloria the barbie movie
this is it. this is exactly it oh my god.
"we mothers stand still so our daughters can look back and see how far they've come" has to be one of the most devastating movie lines ive heard in awhile
:)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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January 1, 2023: “I come into the peace of wild things.”
Backwards, Warsan Shire
on knowledge
[text ID: as a child, i knew everything before others my age did, i learnt to read like the words had always been mine and i was just taking them back, like they belonged to me, i knew how the clouds worked and why bees died after one sting - i thought the world was something you could swallow. i don’t remember when i started falling behind, but suddenly i knew there were things i didn’t know that others did, and shame with its cheeks glowing red told me not to ask, so i didn’t, and listen: when you know this little about love, it feels like knowing nothing at all. outside my bed the sky is darkening, and here is what i know there are 117 million lakes in the world. i am lonely. 7 trillion nerves in the human body. i want to be touched. acacia trees can warn each other of danger. i don’t think i was meant for love, like how grass isn’t meant to grow tall or some insects aren’t meant to live long, simple as that, nothing to mourn over, but i mourn, still. end ID]
Heart weeps. Head tries to help heart. Head tries to tell heart how it is, again: You will lose the ones you love. They will all go. But even the earth will go, someday. Heart feels better, then. But the words of head do not remain long in the ears of heart. Heart is so new to this. I want them back, says heart. Head is all heart has. Help, head. Help heart.
Lydia Davis, “Head, Heart” in The Collected Stories of Lydia Davis

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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sometimes depression is so scary because you stop being able to achieve any sense of fulfilment. a huge part of being human is looking forward to things and having treats, goals, rewards, outcomes that you strive towards. if you don’t have those things it can be really, really hard to find any sense of purpose. having depression is asking yourself what do i want to eat, what do i want to watch, what do i want to play, what do i want to listen to, what do i want to do, what am i looking forward to, what’s driving me to keep going, and having the answer be a resounding ‘nothing’
“I don’t know what I’m saying. I guess what I mean is that sometimes I don’t know what or who we are. Days I feel like a human being, while other days I feel more like a sound. I touch the world not as myself but as an echo of who I was. Can you hear me yet? Can you read me?”
Ocean Vuong, On Earth Were Briefly Gorgeous: A Novel
“Can you understand? Someone, somewhere, can you understand me a little, love me a little? For all my despair, for all my ideals, for all that - I love life. But it is hard, and I have so much - so very much to learn.”
Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals
“I have the tongue of some endangered animal. No one can understand me / anymore.”
Tomye Blount, ‘The Tongue’