sharts

Audreyyyyy 😭 💕💕💕

it’s 2028. trump is dead. elon is dead. zuckerberg is dead bezos is dead they’re all dead

jd vance and rfk jr are in prison

mike pence is having a really bad time in a low rent retirement home

in recent events of that zoo losing the clouded leopard, it reminded me of the time i went to a large petting zoo and there was a free roaming little black sheep. cutest little guy i ever saw, soi went to the zookeeper nearby and said ‘i think its really cute how you have a sheep thats allowed to just walk around. ‘ then the zookeepers eyes widened and he grabbed his walky talky and ran 

life tip: sometimes there's a bird outside & you can look at it

straigt up one marvle they are smaller and less harmful than a bowler ball.

idek what this says i just pressed post immediately after seeing the word 'blessica'

peoplpe are always saying very online things to me

i think im getting better! :) [another event occurs]

i would've fucked so hard as a court jester in ye olde i would've jangled my balls and done a little dance and sang my silly tunes i'd be so good at my job. alas i have to be on tumblr instead which is like a poor imitation of it

bells. i meant bells

don’t do this to me

i havent seen anyone mention no nut november even as a joke or to mock the concept. its just out of question rn. no time for that. everyones like yeahh well at least i can still get a nut off nobody can take that away from me

it should be legal to be bottom-nude everywhere

the best time to abuse substances was yesterday. the second best time is now

gen z has to reckon with its radicalization problem. you are not a morally pure and superior generation of youth come to save the world, your men and boys are radicalized at an unprecedented level and you ignore it because it’s too hard to address but you have to. these boys are in your classes, they date your friends, you know them and you cannot continue to pretend this is an “old white guy” problem

girls are contributing, too. the coquette aesthetic, the “i don’t want to girlboss i want a man to pay my bills”, girlmath girljob girlmoney. it’s a joke, it’s clothes, it’s whatever, i get it but it is driving a mentality of traditional gender roles and you know you’re joking but your boyfriend doesn’t. your kid brother doesn’t. you have to stop this shit it is a contributing factor